“Wait till I get to your father’s side,” Gertrude said
in a low, insinuating voice. “Bet you never knew about
Uncle Percy.”
“Before my time?” Judith ventured.
“A bit.”
“What about him?”
There was a long pause. “I forget. It’ll come to me.
Hey, toots, got to go. Arlene’s here to let me teach her
how to play gin rummy.”
Gertrude hung up.
Judith looked at Renie, who was guzzling more
Pepsi. “Did you ever hear of Uncle Percy on our fathers’ side of the family?”
“No,” Renie replied. “Did your mother invent him?”
“I think she’s making up most of my side,” Judith
said. “It’s not like she doesn’t remember from way
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Mary Daheim
back. It’s five minutes ago that eludes her. Have you
made up your mind how to get dinner from the front
door to our room?”
“I told you,” Renie replied with a scowl, “I’m asking Tubby Turnbull. He should be about ready to leave.
I’ll go look.”
Tubby, in fact, was sauntering out of Addison
Kirby’s room. Renie put out a stocking-covered foot,
which caught him above the ankle. “Oof!” Tubby exclaimed in mild surprise. “Sorry. Did I step on you?”
“Mr. Turnbull,” Renie said, turning on what meager
charm she could manage, “I’m upset. Who are you getting to replace Joaquin Somosa?”
“Well . . . ,” Tubby drawled, rubbing his prominent
chin, “that’s a darned good question. Who do you think
we should get?”
“Me?” Renie pointed to herself. “I’m just a fan, a
mere woman at that. How should I know?”
“Well . . .” Tubby scratched at the elaborate combover that covered his bald spot. “Sometimes player
trade ideas come from the darnedest places. I got the
inspiration for our closer, Ho Boy Pak, from a fortune
cookie.”
“Really,” Renie breathed. “I’m not surprised. He
sort of pitches like chop suey.”
“Yes,” Tubby agreed, “he can be kind of erratic.
Now if you’ll excuse me . . .”
Renie put out her good left hand. “Oh, please, Mr.
Turnbull, could you step in for a minute and meet my
cousin? She’s a huge Seafarers fan.”
Renie made the introductions. “What a pleasure,” Judith enthused, studying Tubby more closely. He was definitely tubby, soft, and pliable. For a moment, Tubby
seemed to be deciding whether to sit or stand. He eyed the
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123
visitors’ chairs, the beds, even the commode. At last, he
stayed put. Judith knew of his reputation for indecisiveness, and noticed that the socks under his galoshes
