“Pygmy,” despite no actual name this agent. Assemblage professor, learned band judges dismiss science project operative me. Instead, grasp hand of this agent. Agitate hand. Make small parade so examine next exhibition.
Next science project, plant life produced hydroponics garden exposed as
From distance exhibition floor, observe operative Otto beaming gleeful smile. So prideful such clever sabotage.
Next, parade learned academics arrive experiment invented stealth cat sister. Rested atop table, displayed moderate missile comparable light mortar round Japan artillery, caliber fifty-millimeter Type 89 “leg” mortar shell. Missile encased skin pink-color plastic. Smooth polished. Painted letter across placard, written: “Bliss 2.0.”
Say host cat sister, “May I introduce the next generation in complete happiness…” Hands sister lift missile, brandish before attention all judge, explain as miracle prosthetic phallus. Appliance phallus able wireless attach World Wide Web, download supplement software, upgrade programming. Tailor for simulate multiple sexual scenario ranging tentative penis wielded adolescent youth to top range mindless rape platoon enemy army soldier. Masquerade genital member any global archetype. Simply user submit code of scenario so activate.
In addition, boast phallus able adjust surface temperature. Wide variety warmth for chilled circumstance. For heated weather, offered phallus able chill itself, assist lower core temperature of user. Explain sister, top best cost savings compared expense for operate conventional central air-condition.
As bonus feature, phallus include ability perform recorded music. Capacity storage more than fifteen hundred song file, audio book, academic classroom lecture, religious reading. Synchronize stimulation vibrate so matched music. Suggested possible able educate user, imprint wisdom facts, knowledge during embedded shuddering consumer pelvis.
“Plus…” say cat sister, closing eye cover skins for effect, tilting head meaning “yes,” say, “the wipe-clean finish is antimicrobial.” Say, “And … it’s the last
“What?” say learned judge, make small laugh, say, “It’s not powered by nuclear fusion?”
Cat sister offer weak smile, say, “We’ll be launching that product feature with Bliss 2.1.”
Explain host sister, phallus total compatible either IBM or Apple platform.
Contain global positioning sensor so forever orient by satellite.
Automatic relay fault codes, conduct own systems check each usage. Time-delayed activation so function as clock of alarms. Converse, programmed stop own operation automatic once user metabolism indicates asleep.
Other standard feature, phallus employs conductivity of skin to measure user glucose levels, monitor electrolytes bodily fluids, test serum cholesterol. Regulate cycle ovulation. Enhance memory. Coordinate wardrobe. Increase automobile gasoline mileage.
In secret this agent reciting, no voice, say,
Total top easy host sister to be awarded best prize of science fair. Not this agent. Instead cat sister journey so compete finals competition, city of Washington, district of Columbia. Thwart objective Operation Havoc.
Anxious observant all operative, Bokara, Sheena, Mang, frightened such miracle device garner most top award, usurp opportunity advance to national competition.
Next then, professor request demonstrate appliance. Demand show how activate miracle phallus.
Focused amid all present watching, cat sister manipulate missile, handle hidden control appliance base, activate mechanism for commence pink-color plastic transform more shade pink, more darker pink, color shading red. Next then, phallus pulse surge, vibrate, quiver, shiver. Invention shake, oscillate, tremble. Project joggle, jiggle, flutter. Emerge sweet melody music, trill melodious tune.
Face numerous professor fashion wide smile.
Cat sister smile.
Sudden now, phallus increase degree jostle. Machinery convulse, quake, jolt. Thin ribbon smoke, white smoke stray out plastic shell. Smoking phallus jump, caper, jerk, issuing dark smoke, black smoke.
Crowd all present retreat one stride, recede safe distance during phallus sprout miniature flame, red, yellow, blue flame. Sound screaming wail, no pretty music. Wailing demon phallus spring from table, bolt about exhibition floor, pursuing terrified judges. Trailing acrid black smoke, comet tail orange flames, screaming killer phallus spit molten plastic, pounce in chase wailing students. Stalk howling youth. Squalling inflamed phallus hunt squealing children.
Same now, tiny telephone host sister sound ring. Adamant ring.
Phone applied ear, cat sister say, “Dad?” Dodging aflame path killer phallus, host sister say, “You’re in
Same then, teeth operative me spread wide, legs spring, jawbone this agent snap shut, find purchase around flaming missile,
All present strike together palms. Raucous cacophony applause. Attempt strike palms upon scapular this agent.
Saliva operative me flavored solder, scent cat sister some many night effort for construct device. Taste sweat of host sister labor. So wasted effort. Sour tang of guilt. Expectorate this agent masticated remnants scorched rocket.
Professor foot, shoe prodding smolder remains invention, say, “Thank God that didn’t happen
Awards top honor upon this agent. Hero of this today. Hero of Model United Nation. Hero of local science fair.
Total vast assemblage mounting verbal cheer. United of single voice, chant, “Pygmy!” Chant, “Pygmy!” Chant, “Pygmy!”
Quote, “On every side, the slug humanitarianism leaves its slimy trail, obscuring the function of intelligence and atrophying emotion.”
Gazing ruin former menacing phallus, yelling at telephone, sister say, “But, Dad, why’d they
Same now marking most major strategic victory operative me—lauded vociferous by all, phallus conquered, competition project sabotaged—this exact now, host sister begin wail at telephone. Eye stealth cat sister commence copious bleed water.
Dispatch Thirtieth
Begins here thirtieth account of operative me, agent number 67, upon return religion propaganda distribution outlet of city XXXXXX. Seated among throng many citizen, vacuous lazy multitude citizen state XXXXXX. Philosophically lax, morally despicable, culturally exhausted membership congregation religious community XXXXXX. On occasion disposal cadaver devil Tony for nourish soil denizens.
Snake nest. American den of evil. Hive of corruption.
Casket containing devil staged position, same shrine location as casket of clear-yellow bully. Same location previous casket gun-shot delegate Zaire, delegate East Timor, Egypt, Brazil.
Open of ceremony, string embedded all paraffin cylinder, strings inflamed. Space perfumed genitals lush plant life. Statue man still dead, plaster bleeding red paint. Mounting altar of worship shrine, crippled zombie, stumbling ancient skeleton Doris Lilly. Hunched beside casket packaging mortal remains, decaying devil Tony, esteemed Miss Lilly say, cough thunder of phlegm noise upon microphone, say, “Due to the absence of our lay minister, Donald Cedar…” Say, “I’ve been asked to say a few words in regard to the tragic passing of Reverend Anthony…”
Host father Don Cedar, vast breathing cow, this today absent.
Twitching claws chicken mother, talons shred wadded facial tissue infinite bits. Host mother scented double extra dosed Xanax, perspiring abundant, pelvis no humming battery missile. Loins hollow of plastic vibration
