Fatal Revenant

undefined by any trees or shrubs. Even aliantha did not grow in this place. She saw no birds anywhere. If animals had ever crossed this valley, the crust retained no sign of their passage.

There should have been aliantha. Those life-giving shrubs had survived the Sunbane. Surely they could endure this winter? But Linden thought that she knew why the valley was so lifeless. Her health-sense grew steadily stronger in the absence of Kevin’s Dirt; and as she trudged across the iced expanse, she began to feel that she trod on graves. The whole valley held a muffled sensation of death, as if the snow cloaked shed blood and slaughter. The ground had absorbed too much violence to nurture treasure-berries.

Perhaps Covenant or the Theomach would condescend to tell her what had happened here.

Before she could speak, however, a brief flare of energy like an after-flash of lightning shredded the air near Covenant; and Jeremiah staggered to his knees as though he had been created-or re-created- from the raw stuff of emptiness and cold.

He was gasping as if he had survived a fight for his life.

She forgot everything else in her rush to reach him. Instinctively she reached for Earthpower. If Esmer or some other foe still harried her son-

At once, however, the Theomach stepped or appeared in her way. She collided with him hard; stumbled backward.

“God damn it!”

“Do not!” he commanded sharply. His cerement-clad figure confronted her across the trampled snow. “Do not invoke the Staff. And do not attempt to place your hands upon them, neither the Halfhand nor your son. If you err in this, your losses will be greater than you are able to conceive. That I cannot prevent. My purpose lies elsewhere.”

At the same time, Covenant turned toward Jeremiah. “There you are. I was beginning to wonder.”

Jeremiah lifted his face to the Unbeliever. The sweat of intense exertion streamed from his cheeks and forehead: his heated skin steamed in the cold. But he was grinning hugely.

“Jeez, that was hard,” he panted. “I knew Esmer was tough, but I didn’t realise-” In spite of his gasping, his voice seemed to throb with triumph. “It’s a good thing those ur-viles attacked when they did. I didn’t want to have to call for help.”

Covenant nodded. “I knew you could do it. I told you that, didn’t I? He changes his mind too often. There’s always a flaw somewhere.”

Biting her lip, Linden swallowed every natural impulse. “All right,” she muttered to the Theomach. “You’ve made your point. I need them as much as they need me. Now get out of my way.”

The Theomach gave her a shrouded nod and stepped aside.

With more caution, she approached her son and Covenant.

Jeremiah was gazing around; and as he did so, his manner changed. “Jeez,” he panted again. “What went wrong? We aren’t supposed to be here.”

“I know,” replied Covenant sourly. “Look behind you.”

With a boy’s ungainly alacrity, Jeremiah lurched to his feet. His gaze touched Linden for only an instant. “Oh, hi, Mom,” he said absently, as if he had already put her out of his mind. His attention was focused on the Theomach.

“You,” he said in surprise. He was still trying to catch his breath. “You’re one of them. I never met you. But I heard them talk about you. You’re the Theomach.”

The concealed figure sketched a mocking bow. “Assuredly.” Then he added more sternly, “Be guided by the Halfhand, youth. I have set you upon a path which will unmake all of your desires if you step aside from it.”

Jeremiah glanced at Covenant, then shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me. As long as we’re together, I don’t care how we do this. Covenant knows I trust him.”

His tic was barely noticeable.

Linden took another step closer. “Jeremiah, honey. Are you all right? When I was suddenly here,” wherever here was. “and you weren’t, I thought that I’d lost you again.”

His muddy gaze avoided hers. “I’m fine.” His respiration had almost returned to normal: he was too young-or too full of magic-to breathe hard for long. “It’s what I said, that’s all. Esmer is tougher than he looks.” He flashed another grin at Covenant. “But I beat him.”

Plainly reluctant to talk to Linden, the boy made a show of scanning the valley again. “What do we do now?”

Her son had recovered his mind-and he did not want to talk to her. She bowed her head so that he would not see her face twist or her eyes burn.

“Your mother is being stubborn,” replied Covenant heavily. “As usual. She wants an explanation. We’ll go up there”- he pointed vaguely at the nearest hills- “and take a look around. Maybe then she’ll feel less contentious. Or at least less disoriented.

“After that, well need to make some decisions. Or she will. Thanks to the Theomach, were in a hell of a mess. And he thinks we should let her figure out how to cope with it.

“We’ll have to give that a try,” Covenant concluded in disgust. “He hasn’t left us much choice.”

With his back to Linden, Jeremiah said, “Then let’s go. I think it’ll be OK. Sometimes she does exactly the right thing without even knowing it.”

Taking her torn heart with him, he led Covenant toward the slopes at the southern edge of the valley.

Eventually Covenant moved into the lead. Jeremiah followed in his

footprints while the Theomach remained off to one side, accompanying himself obscurely over the brittle surface. Linden lagged behind Covenant and Jeremiah; used the path that they had trampled to make her own passage somewhat easier.

Sometimes she does exactly the right thing- Her son had given her that, although he obviously preferred Covenant’s company in spite of her dedication and love. -without even knowing it. He may have been referring to the raceway construct which she had enabled him to build. To that extent, at least, he acknowledged her importance in his life. Yet even that oblique validation carried a message of pain.

By buying the tracks and pylons for Jeremiah’s raceway, she had in some sense freed him; or had given him the means to free himself. She had made possible an escape from blankness into the wealth and wonder of the Land. And in so doing, she had lost him to Covenant. But that, she insisted to herself, was not the crucial point. The crux of what she had inadvertently achieved was this: she had supplied her son with an alternative to ordinary consciousness, ordinary responses and emotions; ordinary life. She had made it easier for him to escape than to strive for a more difficult and precious form of recovery.

It was conceivable that Linden had failed her son as entirely-and as unintentionally-as she had failed Joan.

Arguing with herself as she plodded ahead, Linden countered, Yes, that was conceivable. But it was also conceivable that Jeremiah would not have been capable of his present sentience, or his disturbing loyalties, if he had not been granted an escape from his mental prison. His mind might have died, utterly alone inside his skull, if he had not found his way to the Land.

The simple fact was that Linden was too human to know the truth. She could not assign responsibility, blame, or vindication because she was inadequate to gauge the condition of Jeremiah’s soul. He was closed to her. He had always been closed.

In the years since she had travelled and suffered and loved with Thomas Covenant, she had endeavoured to become content with her inadequacy. She would have admitted with unruffled confidence that she healed none of her patients. Instead, at her best, she merely encouraged them to heal themselves. But now, in the Land, she was less able to accept her limitations.

There was too much at stake

She understood almost nothing that had happened since Covenant and Jeremiah had ridden into Lord’s Keep. And she had no reason at all to believe that she was strong enough for what lay ahead of her. But she told herself that such things were trivial. The only inadequacy that truly mattered was her inability to gauge the health or illness of Jeremiah’s restored mind.

How could she make choices, or defend what she loved, when she did not know whether or not he still needed her?