Close knit family

thoughts settled enough to ask 'You know what you're asking me to do?'

'I'm asking you to have sex with me for the first time. And yes, I know that means you putting your penis inside me!'

With a few gentle nudges, I got her to sit up and turn around to face me. Putting my arms around her slender waist, I looked into her face and asked 'Do you really think you want something like that, and that you're ready for it? Or are you asking for some other reason?'

From the expression on her face, I could tell that she knew I needed not just the immediate answers to my questions, but explanations, too.

She was as serious and sincere as I'd ever seen her when she answered 'Yeah, I do want that to happen. I've been thinking about it almost since I was with you and Donna that time. After what you did with me and her… and then when we talked that night, the first time I stayed with you…

I knew that sex was something serious — but that it could be fun, and feel good, too. After I told you it was okay, you've been doing what I wanted — touching me first, I mean, and being the one that starts when we do things together. And when I've wanted to come down here and talk to you, or just BE here with you, it's always been okay. After we slept together that first time, and I used my mouth on you in the shower, you didn't treat me any different; you weren't any nicer to me than you've always been, but you weren't afraid to touch me and kiss me and everything, either. When I'm with you like this, just the two of us, I know that it's okay for us to be together

— that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or make me feel bad, and I like that. You do so much for me… and Donna, and Wendy, and Mom… and you never, ever ask us for anything, or say anything to remind us about the things you do. I know I'm kinda young, but I got a chance to look up a bunch of things on the Internet one time, when I was over at Christina's house, and it's not that much. What I found out was that most girls are between fifteen and sixteen when they lose their virginity — but that my age isn't like, weird, or anything. And I've really, truly tried to find out as much as I can about it; stuff like how girls felt afterwards, and what they thought about it, and how it happened for them, and what they wished they'd done different, and things like that. I've really thought about it, too — I know that I can't go back and change it afterwards, and that it really is something special, and that I should be really, really sure first.

Honest, Uncle Ted, I have thought about it, and I really am sure that I'm ready for it, and I really do want it to be with you. I know you might be thinking that I want to do this just so I'm 'first' to do something, but that's not it… really. And I don't want to be with you like that because of anything you've done — not that way, anyway; I mean, I'm not wanting to have sex with you just because we've been kissing and touching and everything, and all I want is just to do more sex stuff with you. You're somebody really, really special to me — I love you, as much as I do Mom, and even more than I did Daddy, when he was here. I know that you love me, too, the same way; and that's why I want us to be together like that — because we love each other as much as we do. I know we can't get married, or anything; and that if we're together like that, you still aren't going to treat me any different than you do Wendy or Donna… and I know that's the way it should be, because I know I'm still not that grown up that I don't need you and Mom watching out for me. But I think I'm old enough, and grown up enough, for this because it isn't me trying to be grown up and everything like you and Mom; it's you and me loving each other as much as we do, and being able to show it to each other. I don't even want us to stay together, you know, me living down here, or sleeping with you, all the time, either. Like I said, I just want us to be able to share how much we love each other sometimes. I know I'm going all over the place, telling you why I think it's okay, and I hope you don't think that means I'm not ready, or that I'm not sure, and tell me 'no' because of it.'

It had taken her a good ten minutes to tell me all that; she'd spoken clearly and slowly, trying to make sure I understood what she was saying, and all that she'd done and thought before she brought it up with me. Yes, she had bounced around a bit as she was talking — but since she was doing it from the heart, and not a script or printed notes, I was willing to dismiss the style in favor of paying attention to the content and substance of what she'd had to say.

As I looked at her, I saw that she was a bit nervous, but unafraid — and absolutely certain of what she wanted.

Looking into her eyes, I told her 'Okay, you've told me what you want, and why, and all that. But you've had plenty of time to get ready for this, and I'm just hearing about it now. I'm not going to make you wait too long, but I need a little bit of time so that I can think about what you said, okay?'

Dry-eyed and solemn, she nodded her head; and after I'd released my soft hold around her, she quietly got off my lap and took a seat on my couch. I thought it noteworthy that she didn't assume the right to wait on my bed, but didn't give up and go upstairs, either — there was something she wanted me to do, and she was apparently ready to wait for it to happen.

With nothing to distract me, I sat there and considered what she'd said — not just the words, but what they told me about her; and how she'd tried to get across to me what she'd thought and done and felt before she made her request. I also had to think about what MY involvement was leading up to that point — whether I'd done anything to encourage her, or cause her to think that I wanted us to be that intimate with each other. Finally, I had to try and figure out what would (or might) happen afterwards, for either choice I made. It wasn't a fast or easy process, and required a lot of serious thought (and no small amount of soul-searching) on my part before I finally had an answer to give her.

When I looked at the clock, I realized that I'd been sitting there for nearly an hour; turning to look at where Karen was waiting, I saw that she was ready to sit there until she got an answer.

When I cleared my throat, she saw that I was looking at her, and realized that I was ready to tell her what I'd decided. She got up, then came over to resume her previous position on my lap.

When she was settled, I put my arms around her waist again. She was looking at me steadily as I told her 'You know that what you want is something serious — very serious. And I'm sure you understand why I thought it was important enough that I had to think about it for this long. There are several things that make me think that us having sex wouldn't be a good idea — how young you are, the fact that I am your uncle, and several more. But there also things that make me think that it could be okay, too. Things like the fact that we do love each other so much; and that you worked so hard to try and make sure of what you wanted, and what would happen, and all of that. I had to try and think about what could happen if we started having sex — not just the things between us, but what might happen to you, and even how it could affect your sisters and your Mom. Then I had to try and see if I did anything that maybe caused you think this was something we could or should do, and what I thought about us having sex — and what might happen to me. As much as I could, I had to try to see if I could figure out what good and bad there would probably be, and could be, and might be — not just for you and me, but for your Mom, and Donna, and Wendy, because whatever happens with us is going to affect them, too. I think you can see that there were a lot of things that I had to look at, and think about, and try to decide whether they were big and important, or not — and if they were, how much. I told you that I would never lie to you, and I'm not going to lie to you about this, either. There was a lot of stuff that made me think that us having sex wouldn't be good, just like there was a lot of things that made me think it could be okay, too. Honestly, I'm still not sure that what I decided is the right one, and I'm afraid that it's going to do things that make you end up hating me for it. But what I finally decided was that if you're sure enough to ask if you can give your virginity to me, then the best thing I can do is try to make it as easy and good for you as I can.'

As I'd been talking, I could see that Karen was trying to prepare herself for what she thought would be a negative answer — so when I agreed to what she'd asked, it took her a second to understand that she'd gotten the answer she wanted. Still, she didn't get ecstatically happy, or start acting like a kid in a toy store; if anything, she seemed to get even more sober about it -

which actually helped settle my concerns a bit, since it let me know that she really comprehended the significance of the matter.

We were looking at each other when I asked her 'You asked me about this tonight, but it doesn't have to happen tonight, unless you want it to. If there's anything you want to do first, or you need to wait, or anything else, that's fine. This will be easiest for you if it happens when you want and HOW you want. There are some things that I can do — and will do! — to help; but the most important part is that you're comfortable with it. I know you know that sex is how babies are made, and I don't think either one of us wants that to happen,