information – not your fault! – to say which one it is. What I can do, though, is tell you what you need to know, or find out, to help figure out which one it is.'
'Okay, what did you come up with?', she asked.
'First possibility is that they're just nervous about the – what did you call it? – audit, and how sudden it happened, or some other benign reason. Uncalled for, maybe, but reasonable.
'Second possibility is that a few people, I'd say middle management or so, have been making up their own perks along the way. Nothing major, really, like systematic fraud, but not something to be ignored, either. They know it, and are worried about being found out.
'The third choice is that one or more people near the top have been up to something, and have issued the command that you're not to be helped – if not outright blocked. That option raises some ugly possibilities.'
'That's the one that I was worried about, but knew I didn't have anything to pin it on. You said that you could tell me how I can find out which one it is?', she replied.
'Sure. If it was me, I'd call in the rank-and-file types, and just tell them that you're there as part of a normal audit, and that it was called suddenly so your client could get a 'snapshot' of how things were going. You're not looking for anything in particular, just the general situation. If it's just nerves, they should settle down, and you and the accountants can do your thing, just like always.'
'What next?'
'If that doesn't help, make it clear that you're looking at middle managers – particularly the nervous ones. If it's them, once it's clear where your attention is, your accountants should stop tripping over most of the lower level employees: they won't have any reason or motivation to get in the way, any more, since it will be 'obvious' that you're on to what's been happening.'
'And?'
'If a change of focus doesn't do it, then I'd have to suspect the executive level. You know where the problem is in an organization by where the trouble stops. That's what you're trying to find out by reassuring the lower levels, then focusing on the managers. There's going to be*some* overlap because of office politics, but nothing systemic like what you'd see with executives being involved. You know what to look for, now. I trust that you can handle the HOW to look for it – that's something I couldn't help with, any way.'
She snorted, and said, 'I'm not sure I believe that, but I'll take your word for it. Yeah, I can handle the 'political' part of it. What happens if it turns out to be the executives? How can I prove it's them?'
'In that case, you'll have to do a lot of computer work: finding missing files, tracing what went where and when, tracking the order things happened in, and so on. Think of it as a data autopsy.'
'I've got no idea how to do anything like that.'
'That's okay. Your company's computer people should be able to tell you. If you don't understand something, ask them. If you still don't understand, I'll try to explain. If the worst case turns out to be true, then you might have another problem, though.'
'What's that?'
'If these folks are up to something, there*could* be the argument made that your company's IT people aren't impartial – you know, your client is having a problem, so your people come in to help them, instead of finding the 'truth'.'
She sighed again, saying, 'I hadn't thought of that one. You're probably right. What then?'
'If it comes down to that point, you'll need to find someone else, outside your company. I can make some recommendations, if you need or want them.'
'Yeah, I might.'
'One other thing.'
'What's that?'
'If it turns out that it is the execs having fun with someone else's money, a couple of things have to happen. First, your company, and your client, need to decide what happens – that is, do you prosecute the offenders, get the money back, or both? Second, it's to your advantage to make this whole thing as spotless and impartial and documented as you can – run it like you were going to lay it in front of a judge, whether you plan to, or not. There's no telling where it'll wind up, and it's probably best to be ready for the worst.'
'I already planned to do that. That's why I called you before starting anything about it – so that I could figure out how to make it good, however it turns out.'
'That's the idea – everything you do needs to look like a reasonable response to something that came before it.'
'On the subject of coming' – she giggled at her joke – 'did anything happen last night?'
'Sure. We had pizza – but I told you that already, last night.'
'No, you turd, I mean did anything happen AFTER that?'
'As a matter of fact, it did.'
I waited a few moments, and as I expected, she got impatient and demanded, 'So what was it?'
'What was what?', I asked, innocently.
'What happened last night. AFTER we talked on the phone!', she answered, getting testy.
'Oh, that. Sandra and I had a little fun, with Robyn's help.'
'What fun?', then a pause, then 'Oh. OH! You mean you? And Sandra?
Together?'
'Well, we sure weren't apart.'
She snickered, and said, 'Yeah, I'll bet. Have fun, you said?'
'Yup.'
'Who had the most fun? How often or how many?'
'Just the one time. She had two, no, three after Robyn finished with her. I had one.'
'Messy?'
'As a matter of fact, no. It was already gone when I got there.
Misplaced, accident, or whatever happened, there weren't any obstructions. Made it easier for both of us.'
'Good for her! How is she?'
'A little sore, she says, but happy. Not too feisty today. Smiles and cuddles a lot, though.'
'I'll bet – I didn't feel like doing anything for three days after my first time. You must be doing something right.'
'I try to.'
'Believe me, you do plenty right. You said Robyn was there? She didn't get in the way?'
'Not at all. She helped get things started, and finished, but just watched the rest of the time. Very considerate, actually.'
'I'm going to have to let her stay with you more. Whatever else you're doing to her, you're also being a good influence on her.'
'Nah, I'm just polishing up what was already there.'
'Bullshit. Before she met you, it was all I could do to get her to say please-and-thank-you; it would NEVER have occurred to her to stay out of anything like that, never mind actually doing it, if it had happened before. So don't go pulling that modesty crap on me, mister.'
There wasn't anything to say to that, so I didn't.
A moment later, she apologized, telling me 'Look, maybe you don't think you've had a positive influence on her, but I know different. I think you do too, so just accept the compliment, and move on, okay?'
'Okay.'
A few moments later, she said 'Well, I think that's about enough for tonight. Forgive me?'
'Nothing to forgive. You called it as you saw it; I can't take offense at that.'
'Love me?'
'Of course.', I answered, with feeling.
With that, she hung up the phone, and I headed over to 'my' chair.
Robyn started to get up, with the clear intention of sitting in my lap, but I held a hand up, telling them 'Before anything else, I want to let you know what's going on. The people that Lucy has working for her are finding what they*think* might be problems. Lucy wanted to talk to me to see if I thought the same things about it that
