Next Door Neighbor

virgin any more; and that just seemed to make her madder. Finally, she just told me that it was late and that she wanted to go to sleep. Both of us got under the covers, but instead of laying on our backs and talking, she turned on her side, facing away from me. It really hurt me, and I finally rolled over onto my side, facing away from her. It took a long time, but I finally fell asleep. The next morning, she was nice to me again, but she never invited me to stay over with her again. And whenever I tried to invite her, she always had some reason she couldn't. We still saw each other in school, and we still studied together for a while, but we eventually just kind of drifted apart.'

All three of them were looking at her with tears in their eyes. When Amy saw them, she realized that they shared the pain that she'd felt, and started to cry, herself. In a few moments, the four of them were in a group hug, Lucy and the girls holding her as she sobbed out her pain. I got up and went into the bathroom to bring all of them small towels to dry up with. When they were done, each sniffled her thanks for the towel I handed them, and started cleaning themselves up again. When Amy had finished, Lucy told her 'We're your friends, now, if you want us' before giving her a kiss. This time, Amy was a more willing participant, and even dared to reach out to caress Lucy's side, and back.

When their kiss ended, Amy told Lucy 'I remember how soft and gentle Virginia was, and how excited I got when we were touching each other.

I know I can't go back and undo it, but I have to admit that I wouldn't mind seeing if I couldn't get some of that same magic with someone else.'

Lucy told her 'I think any one of us would be happy to help you with that. Well, except maybe for Sandra – she started her period yesterday, and she's a little hesitant about it just now.'

Amy looked at her, and said 'I'll probably take you up on that, later. But right now, I think I'd like something a little more, uh, substantial. I've only known two men in my life, and neither one of them left me feeling the way I did with Virgie. The first was the guy who took my cherry when I was seventeen; once he had me, he lost interest. The other was a guy in college who just didn't have the patience or desire to make me feel as good as he did.'

Lucy laughed, and said 'If you're looking for a guy, then Dan, here, is the one. If anything, he'll spoil you for anyone else!'

Amy looked at Lucy quizzically, and asked 'You wouldn't mind? Letting me have him, I mean?'

Lucy answered 'Amy, all you're going to do is borrow him for a while.

When you're done with him, or I should say, when he's done with you, he'll be right back here with us.'

Amy got a surprised look on her face, and asked 'Us? You and… them?', nodding toward Robyn and Sandra.

Lucy nodded, saying 'He's the one that both of them gave their virginity to. I wish to hell I could have had him as my first, too.'

Amy looked at Robyn and Sandra, and asked 'Didn't he hurt you? I mean, he's a full-grown man!'

Robyn just grinned, and told her 'No, he didn't hurt. He made it feel GOOD! I was sore afterwards, but it was a good sore, you know?'

Sandra nodded her head in agreement with Robyn, and Amy looked at Lucy again, and asked 'And you're obviously okay with this. Why?'

Lucy grinned, and told her about how it had been me that had gotten her and Robyn talking, and how I'd been the one to help them learn to trust, and even respect, each other. She finished up by saying 'Amy, you know him. You know what he's like, and what kind of person he is.

Do you really think that he'd just jump into bed with*anyone*?

Particularly someone as young as these two?'

Here, Robyn spoke up, telling Amy 'When I tried to get him to be my first, he didn't want to. I mean, it's not that he didn't want to make love to me; it's just that he didn't want to hurt me, and he wanted me to make sure that I was ready. He tried to talk me out of it, even.'

Lucy laughed, and said 'Same thing with me. I threw myself at him a couple of times. He just caught me, and set me on my feet, instead of jumping my bones like I wanted him to. When he finally gave in, though – God! It was worth it!'

Amy looked at me speculatively; I just looked back at her, patiently.

She finally opened her mouth to speak, telling me 'I told you that the first guy I had was the one who took my cherry. And he*did* take it – what he did wasn't exactly rape, but it didn't miss it by much, either. The second guy was a little better, but couldn't deal with how tense and nervous I was – he didn't have the patience to help me relax enough. It felt better with him, but still not as good as what I heard my friends talking about. I*know* it can be better.

I want to know what that 'better' is. If you will, I'd like you to be the one to help me find it.'

I answered her by telling her 'I can't do it for you. If you're not open to the experience, if you're not willing to learn what that 'better' is, if you're not an active participant, then nothing I do will make the slightest bit of difference. I can help, I can guide, I can offer advice – but it's YOU that ultimately decides how it turns out.'

Here, Lucy spoke up again, telling Amy 'What he says is true. When I was with him the first time, it was great. But when I let myself open up to him, it just got better. Every time since then, it's gotten easier and easier to 'be there' with him, and every time since then, it's been even better making love with him. The other night, we made love; and somehow, we just*locked* with each other – I was completely in touch with myself, and him, at the same time. And I knew that he was feeling the same thing, completely in touch with ME.

We made love for the longest time, and when we finally came – together – it was the deepest thing I'd ever felt. If I die tomorrow, I'll die knowing what real, true JOY there can be in making love.'

Robyn spoke up then, saying 'When I made love with him that first time, I was*so* afraid. Not of him, but that I'd do something wrong, or that it wouldn't feel good. But when I was actually with him, he was as patient and gentle and caring as anybody could want. I*gave* him my virginity, because*I* wanted to. He showed me that he respected my choice, and was honored by it.'

Sandra followed that by saying 'It was my choice to have him be my first, too. Like Robyn said, he was as gentle and patient as I could have wished for. Because I listened to him, I knew it could be a pleasant, good experience – and when I acted like it would, he helped make it that way. I know, now, that he would never have made love to me if he wasn't sure that*I* believed it would be a happy thing, too.'

Amy looked at each of them, in turn, before looking at me and saying 'I know this: they love you and trust you, and you've made every one of them happy – happier than anybody I've ever seen before. I love you, too, now. I trust you, too – even more than I did before. When I hear two young women speak so highly of the man that deflowered them, and hear a third woman say she wished you had been her first, then I know that you can do what I want – what I*need*. Knowing that, I'm ready to do*anything* to see it happen. If you tell me I should stand on my head and whistle 'Dixie', I'll do it, because I trust you, and believe in you, and love you.'

There simply wasn't anything else for me to do but sit up, and lean forward to give her a soft, loving kiss on the lips – a kiss that she returned just as gently.

When we separated, Lucy told her 'This should be your time with him.

We'll go into the other room, so that you don't have any distractions. If you don't mind, though, we'll be back when you're done.'

Amy nodded her agreement, and thanks, accepting a kiss from each of them before they headed into my room, closing the door behind them.

She looked at me, and said 'I don't know what it is that makes you so special; I'm just glad you*are*.'

I told her 'But you*do* know what makes me so special to you. You just haven't put it into words, yet.'

She looked at me thoughtfully, and said 'Yeah, you're right. You're smart – god, you're smart! You're brave, and thoughtful, and gentle, and caring. You've got more morals and ethics than anyone I've ever seen before. You're willing to give other people the best part of yourself, without asking anything in return, other than that they do THEIR best. You're forgiving of people that aren't as smart or strong or brave as you, and absolutely intolerant of people that try to hurt others, for whatever reasons. You*willingly* put yourself between the innocent and the guilty, without making a big deal of it. You're so modest it's aggravating, sometimes. Most of all, you treat people the way they show you they deserve to be treated – you're not afraid to trust yourself and your own judgment.'

I nodded in acceptance of what she'd just said, then told her 'As for you – you're a living example of the FBI motto: Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity. You're no dummy, yourself – not everyone sees some of the things that you do.