‘Of course I have not.’
‘I know you have.’
She stood up, offended, but she did not deny it again. Then she sat down, her manner more deliberately conciliatory.
‘I took pity on her. She is a hopeless creature now, although once she was not so pitiful. And she is still my aunt. She and I are all that remain of our great dynasty. She is my only connection to my history. It is not a reassuring thought, is it?’
‘You must have been aware of her addiction?’
‘Yes, I suppose I was, but she had always been strange, ever since my childhood. So I avoided thinking about it, and no one else ever talked about it. I assumed it was Pentu who treated her.’
‘And then, when you realized what was happening with her addiction, you felt you were not in a position to be able to help her.’
‘I did not dare intervene between her husband and Ay. There was so much else at stake.’
She looked ashamed.
‘I could not risk a public scandal. Perhaps that was cowardly. Yes, I think now it was cowardly.’
‘Do you think Mutnodjmet ever revealed that you would visit, and take her out, from time to time?’
‘She knew that if she did, I would no longer be able to come.’
‘So it was a secret, and you could trust her to keep it?’
‘As far as I could trust her with anything.’
She looked uncomfortable.
‘Let me be direct. Perhaps you have seen this Physician. Perhaps he did not know about your visits. Perhaps you chanced upon him, once.’
‘I have never seen him,’ she said, her eyes intent with truthfulness.
I looked away, disappointed again. The man was like a shadow, always in the corner of my eye, always elusive, slipping away into the dark.
‘But still you are afraid of something,’ I continued.
‘I am afraid of many things, and as you know I do not hide my fear well. I am afraid to be alone, and to sleep. Now the nights seem longer and darker than ever. No candlelight seems powerful enough, in this dismal palace, to keep the shadows at bay.’
She suddenly looked utterly lost.
‘I want you to take me away,’ she said. ‘I can’t stay here. I’m too frightened.’
‘Where am I supposed to take you?’
‘You could take me to your home.’
I was astonished by the idea.
‘Of course I can’t.’
‘Why can’t you? We could leave together. We could go now.’
‘At this time? When the King is to be buried, and all is uncertain, and then you disappear?’
‘I can return for the funeral ceremonies. Take me in disguise. It is night. No one will know.’
‘You think of no one but yourself. I have risked everything for you from the moment you called for me. And now you think I will risk my own family? The answer is no. You must stay here, in the palace, and oversee the burial of the King. You must assert yourself in power. And I will stay beside you at all times.’
She turned on me, her face suddenly crude with anger.
‘I thought you had nobility, I thought you had honour.’
‘I care for the safety of my family above everything. Perhaps to you that is a strange idea,’ I replied carelessly, and walked away, too angry to remain seated.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said eventually, lowering her eyes.
‘You should be.’
‘You cannot talk to me as you have done,’ she said.
‘I am the only one who tells you the truth.’
‘You make me dislike myself.’
‘That is not my intention,’ I replied.
‘I know that.’
‘I promise you, I will not let you come to any harm.’
She searched my face, as if for confirmation.
‘You are right. I cannot run away from everything I fear. It is better to choose to fight rather than to flee…’
We set off back up the dark path towards the lit chamber.
‘What do you intend to do now? Ay is anxious to proceed as quickly as possible with the embalming, the burial, and his own coronation,’ I said.
‘Yes, but even Ay cannot command time. The body must be made ready for burial, the tomb must be readied, the rituals must be meticulously observed; all of this takes the required and necessary number of days…’
‘Even so, Ay of all men can find ways to economize on everything.’
‘Perhaps. But how can he pretend the King is sequestered for so long? Rumour seeps out of silence like water from a cracked vessel…’
She suddenly stopped, her eyes alive with urgent thought.
‘If I am to survive, I have very few choices. Either I make an alliance with Ay, or with Horemheb. It is a brutal choice, and neither option holds anything but revulsion for me. But I know if I try to assert my own authority independently as Queen and as the last daughter of my family, I cannot yet command the support I would need among the bureaucracies and-despite Simut’s support-the army. Not against the aggression and ambition of those two.’
‘But surely there is a third way. You play Ay and Horemheb off against each other,’ I suggested.
She turned towards me, her face alight.
‘Exactly! Both would prefer me dead, but they realize alive I am a valuable asset to either of them. And if I could make each think the other wanted me, then, as men do, they might fight to the end to possess me.’
Suddenly, as she spoke with such conviction and passion, her mother’s face appeared in hers.
‘Why are you staring at me like that?’ she asked.
‘You look like someone I once knew,’ I replied.
She understood at once who that might be.
‘I am sorry for you, Rahotep. You must miss your family and your life. I know you are only here because I called to you to help me. It is my fault. But from now I will protect you with all my power, such as it is,’ she said.
‘And I will do everything I can for you. Perhaps we can protect each other.’
We bowed our heads at each other.
‘But I need to ask you to do something for me now,’ I said.
She quickly supplied me with what I needed: papyrus, a reed pen, a palette containing two cakes of ink, sealing wax and a small pot of water. I wrote quickly, and the characters flowed from the pen with an urgent fluency of love and loss.
To my dearest Wife and Children
This letter must stand in my place. I have been detained for longer than I wished on my task. Know that I have returned safely from my journey. But it is not possible yet to return to you myself. Nor can I tell you when I shall once more walk through our door. I wish it could be otherwise. May the Gods help you to forgive my absence. I enclose a sealed letter for Khety. Please give it to him as soon as possible.
I shall shine through love for you all.
Rahotep
Then I wrote to Khety, telling him exactly what had happened to me, and what I needed him to do. I rolled both letters up, one inside the other, sealed them and handed them to Ankhesenamun.
‘Give these letters to Simut, and have him deliver them to my wife.’
She nodded, and hid them away in her writing chest.
‘You trust him?’
