say.”
“What’s in our best interest?” Laura heard her husband’s voice. “To achieve what we want, a better life for the workers? Or are we going to wear ourselves out, fighting the government, wasting our energy in squabbles, and letting others turn the promises of the Revolution into realities? Are we going to lose our chance?”
“We’re going to lose everything, right down to our long Johns.”
“Does anyone here believe in the soul?”
“A revolution becomes legitimate on its own and engenders rights, comrades,” Juan Francisco summed up. “Obregon has the support of those who made the Revolution. Even Zapata’s and Villa’s people support him. He figured out a way to win them over. Are we going to be the exception?”
“I think we should be, Juan Francisco. The workers’ movement was born to be the exception. Come on, pal, don’t keep us from being the ones who get to rain on the government’s parade.”
For her entire life as a young married woman she’d been listening to the same discussion: it was like going to church every Sunday to hear the same sermon. Habit, Laura once thought, has to have meaning, it must become ritual. She went back over the ritual moments in her own life-birth, childhood, puberty, marriage, death-she was thirty years old, and she’d known them all by now, a personal knowledge, a knowledge that intimately touched her family. It became a collective knowledge, as if the entire nation could not bring itself to divorce its bride: death; that July day when Juan Francisco returned home unexpectedly sometime around six in the afternoon, completely upset, and said, “President Obregon was assassinated at a banquet.”
“Who did it?”
“A Catholic.”
“Was he killed?”
“Who? Obregon? I already said he was.”
“No, I mean the killer.”
“No, he’s in jail. His name is Toral. A fanatic.”
Of all the coincidences she’d experienced in her life until that moment, none alarmed Laura so much as the one that began with the sound, one afternoon, of a hand lightly knocking at the door of the house. Maria de la O had taken the boys to the park; Juan Francisco was returning later and later from work. The dining-room discussions had yielded to the need to act: Obregon was dead; he and Calles had divided power between them, so now only one of the strong men was left. Had Calles murdered Obregon? Was Mexico an endless chain of sacrifices, each one engendering the next, and the last certain of its eventual destiny; to be the same as the act that created it-death to reach power, death to leave it?
“Just look, Juan Francisco, Morones and the CROM are overjoyed because Obregon is dead. Morones wants to be a presidential candidate.”
“That fatso will need a double-sized chair…”
“No jokes, Palomo. No reelection was the sacred principle.”
“Cut it out, Panfilo. Don’t use religious expressions, it really-”
“I’m telling you to be serious. The untouchable principle is that all right?-of the Revolution. Calles betrayed Morones’ presidential hopes to help out his buddy Obregon. Who comes out ahead because of the crime? Just ask yourself that simple question. Who comes out ahead?”
“Calles and Morones. And who takes all the blame? The Catholics.”
“But you’ve always been anticlerical, Palomo. You criticize the peasants for being so Catholic.”
“For that very reason, I’m telling you there’s no better way to strengthen the Church than by persecuting it. That’s what I’m afraid of now.”
“Why is Calles persecuting the Church now? The Turk is no jackass.”
“To nip the fat guy’s rage in the bud, Jose Miguel. He had to find some way to show he’s revolutionary.”
“Now I don’t understand anything.”
“Understand this. In Mexico, even cripples are acrobats.”
“Okay, but don’t you forget something else. Politics is the art of swallowing toads without making a face.”
She was as white as the moon, and her whiteness emphasized her thick, continuous, black eyebrows, which ran across her forehead and cast more of a shadow over the circles under her eyes, circles like the shadow of her immense eyes, as black as they say sin is black, although the eyes of this woman were swimming in a lake of omens. She was dressed in black, with long skirts and low-heeled shoes, her blouse buttoned up to her neck, and a black shawl nervously covering her back, tightly but carelessly wrapped, slipping down to her waist. Her disarray embarrassed her, as if it gave her a clownish air, and made her readjust the shawl over her shoulders, though not over her hair, which was divided strictly by a center part and gathered into a bun at the nape of her neck, where long, loose hairs had escaped as if a secret part of her were rebelling against the discipline of her costume. The loosened hairs were not as black as the tight hairdo of this pale, nervous woman, as if they were announcing something, antennas for some undesired news.
“Excuse me, but I was told a maid was needed here.”
“No, miss, in this house we don’t exploit anyone.” Laura smiled with her ever more irrepressible irony. Was irony her only possible defense against flat and unrelieved routine, in itself neither degrading nor exalting, but stretching out as long as the horizon of her years?
“I know you need help, ma’am.”
“Look, I just told you-”
She said nothing more because the white, sunken-eyed woman dressed in black thrust herself into the garage. She begged silence with her eyes and clasped Laura’s hands alarmingly, then closed her eyes as if facing a physical catastrophe, while in the street a group of metallic soldiers came running, breaking the pavement with the force of their boots, sounding like steel as they marched over steel streets in a soulless city. the woman trembled in Laura’s arms.
“Please, ma’am.”
Laura looked into her eyes. “What’s your name?”
“Carmela.”
“Well, I don’t see why a squad of soldiers should be hunting through the streets for a maid named Carmela.”
“Ma’am, I-”
“Not a word, Carmela. At the back of the patio, there’s an empty maid’s room. Let’s fix it up. It’s filled with old newspapers. Put them next to the boiler. Can you cook?”
“I know how to make communion wafers, ma’am.”
“I’ll teach you. Where are you from?”
“Guadalajara.”
“Say that your parents are from Veracruz.”
“They’re dead.”
“Well then, say they were from Veracruz. I need subjects so I can protect you, Carmela. Things to talk about. Follow my lead.”
“May God reward you, ma’am.”
Juan Francisco reacted most docilely to Carmela’s presence. Laura did not have to give him any explanations. He himself had acknowledged he was unaware of things, rarely alert to the needs of the house, to Laura’s fatigue, to her interest in books and painting. The boys were growing and needed their mother to educate them. Maria de la O was getting old and tired out.
“Why don’t you all go to Xalapa to rest? Carmela can take care of me here in the house.”
Laura D az looked over at the attic of her old house in Xalapa, visible from the second-story terrace of the boardinghouse where her mother Leticia and her Aunts Hilda and Virginia now lived and worked. Middle age was no longer creeping up on the Kelsen sisters: it had trapped them, they were leaving time itself behind.
Laura loved them, she realized in the narrow parlor where Leticia had gathered, rather inelegantly, her personal furniture, the wicker chairs from her marriage, the marble console, the paintings of the rascal and the dog. Hilda had a huge, rose-colored double chin adorned with white hairs, but her eyes were still very blue despite the thick