Nick hadn’t slept much that day, and what little sleep he got was haunted by dreams of Wanda walking out on him. Her last words to him before she left his apartment that morning rang in his ears. 'I really did love you, Nick, even though I never said it before now. I really did love you.'
Although he always believed that Wanda loved him, there were times when he would have given anything to hear her say it. It hurt for those to be her last words. It felt like Wanda had stuck a knife in his gut and turned it. He felt bad about what he had done to Wanda, and at the same time, he didn’t feel bad about what he was doing with Rain. He didn’t feel for Rain the way he felt for Wanda, but there was something about Rain; something that made her and her sex irresistible.
Nick rolled out of bed and got ready to make his rounds. When he left his apartment, he got as far as Cynt’s. He sat down at the bar. 'Johnny Black, and leave the bottle,' Nick said and the bartender did as she was told. At one point Cynt tried to talk to him, but gave up when she got no answer to the question, 'What’s bothering you?'
He knew that Cynt would hear about it sooner or later. He didn’t want her sympathy or her condemnation when he explained that Wanda had left him because he was fucking Rain.
While Nick was trying to drown his sorrows in Johnny Black, Bobby was at Cynt’s too. He came out of the back with one of the dancers on his arm. He handed her a bill and was about to leave when he saw Nick sitting at the bar.
Bobby walked over to him and sat down. 'What’s up, Nick?'
'What’s up, Bobby,' Nick said and drained his glass.
Bobby looked at him and then at the bottle. Nick picked up the bottle and poured himself another drink. Bobby signaled for the bartender to bring him a glass.
'Mind if I join you?' Bobby asked.
'Go ahead.' Nick said. Bobby poured himself a drink and filled Nick’s glass. 'What you doin’ here?' Nick asked.
'Gettin’ my dick sucked,' Bobby said.
The two of them sat drinking in silence. Every now and then, Bobby would look around at the array of naked women dancing around the club. He knew all of them and had fucked most of them. Some came over and spoke, others just waved. One or two tried to make conversation, but Bobby quickly dismissed them. He picked up the bottle and poured him another. Then he refreshed Nick’s drink.
They sat quietly drinking through two more rounds before Bobby said something to Nick. 'Something bothering you?'
'What makes you ask?' Nick replied and turned up his drink. He poured the last of the bottle into his glass. Bobby signaled for the bartender to bring another bottle. The bartender cracked the bottle open and poured Bobby another shot. By that time Nick had crushed his, and held out his glass for another.
'You drinkin’ like a man that got something on his mind that he doesn’t wanna deal with. When shit like that happens to me, I just say fuck it.'
'Fuck it?'
'Yeah, fuck it.'
'All right then,' Nick said and raised his glass. 'Fuck it.' They both turned up their glasses and drained them.
'Now, don’t you feel better?'
'No.'
'That’s because you didn’t mean it when you said it. See, for it to work you gotta say it and know that whatever it is that’s fuckin’ with you is something that you got no control over, for whatever reason, and then you say fuck it and put it behind you,' Bobby said.
Nick looked at Bobby and shook his head. 'Me and Wanda broke up.'
'Oh.'
'Yeah,' Nick said poured another.
'What. She find out about you and Rain?'
'Yeah.'
'Yeah, well, that shit was bound to happen sooner of later.'
'Was it?'
'Yeah, Nick, it was. I mean it ain’t like you were tryin’ real hard to keep that shit a secret. Too many mutha fuckas knew about it and some of those that did, talk to Wanda. Shit, Rain’s ass would say in a heartbeat that you were her man and that bitch Wanda can’t do shit to stop it.'
'She did?'
'Heard her say that shit myself.'
'I guess you’re right, so fuck it. Did I say it right?'
'Fuck you, Nick. The fact is that you ain’t the first nigga to get caught up with a good pussy havin’ young girl. The shit happened to me,' Bobby said and thought about his relationship with Cat.
She was barely twenty-two and fine as hell. 'Nice size titties, little-bitty waist, with a toot-booty that can stop traffic,' Bobby told Nick. That body made her one of the most popular dancers at Cynt’s until she got fired for being late or not showing up at all.
It began while Black was living in the Bahamas and Wanda was losing her mind about Freeze letting things get rundown at Cuisine, and gettin’ sloppy with everything else. One night while Bobby was at Cynt’s checking up on Freeze, he introduced him to Cat and she danced for Bobby. 'Damn that bitch could dance and she was cool. I wasn’t even tryin’ to fuck her. We would just hangout; talk shit, that’s it.'
Nick thought back to the way things began with him and Rain. At the time he had no intention of fucking her. In fact, he didn’t even like her. But it happened anyway.
Bobby told Nick that after a while things with Cat began getting out of control. The longer it went on the more Cat was making it hard on his marriage to Pam. It had gotten to the point that Cat was calling the house and talking to Pam.
'After Cat made herself known to Pam and she did what she did to end it, I figured out the there wasn’t any woman worth losing Pam over.'
'So what you doin’ here gettin’ your dick sucked?'
'I don’t know if you know this, but Pam and I don’t have sex anymore.'
'I didn’t know that? I mean I heard you say that Pam understands that if she isn’t gonna give you any pussy that somebody is, but I thought it was just some shit you was tellin’ Wanda to get her off your back.'
'Nope. She feels like she can be a good wife and mother to our children, but Pam doesn’t feel like she can bring herself to have sex with me after what happened. Things really got wild with Cat. That’s why I come here, get what I came to get and go home. I ain’t got no feelings for none of these ho’s and they ain’t got none for me. And I like it that way. They’re just a place to bust a nut in. I get what I want, they get what they want,' Bobby said. He didn’t think that Nick needed to know that Pam wanted a divorce because of his relationship with Ivillisa Ortiz.
'Simple.'
'This way nobody gets hurt, ’cause nobody’s feelings are involved. I let Cat get off-the-chain, just like you doin’ with Rain.'
'I see that now.'
'Mind if I ask you a question?'
'Go ahead?'
'I always wondered what the attraction was. I hope you don’t get mad behind me sayin’ this, I know she got body for days, but Rain ain’t the prettiest mutha fucka in world.'
Nick laughed a little and shrugged his shoulders. 'She ain’t, is she?'
'No she ain’t.'
'There’s more to Rain than just her looks. I like being around her for some reason.'
'Want me to tell you why?'
'Yeah, go ahead.'
'I see how Rain carries it. She is all gangster; all the time.'
