No More Tears In The End

You shoulda came to me.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but I wasn’t about to let Bobby kill me over Camille.

I’ll never forget that night. Bobby with his gun in my mouth, screamin’ he was gonna kill me; Black with his gun to Bobby’s head. He just kept sayin’ “Bobby put the gun down.” I remember lookin’ at his face; his eyes. I could see the pain he was in. My two best friends. Bobby was ready to kill me. And Black, shit! I can’t even imagine where his head was, with a gun to Bobby’s head.

I called Camille when I left there that night to tell her what happened. She didn’t care. Camille told me to come fuck her, and that was all she had to say. I was on my way, but I needed a drink first. Camille was dead when I got there. Two shots to the head. I was sure that Bobby had killed her and I was next. And I knew that if Bobby wanted me dead, Black wouldn’t have been able to stop him.

The truth was I ran out on Black when he needed me most. We had just killed Andre and his partner Ricky Combs. After the job, Jamaica, who at the time was strung-out on heroin, went MIA. And then I disappeared.

I thought this was over when I made peace with Bobby, but I was wrong. Me and Black would have to talk about this again; there’s something I gotta say.

I arrived at the funeral just as Mrs. Phillips got out of the limo. She told me that I looked very handsome in a suit and asked me to escort her in. When we got to the first pew, she insisted that I sit next to her. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.

I didn’t mind.

I couldn’t begin to imagine what she was feeling right now. She had raised Zakiya just like my grandmother raised me. Being with her reminded me of the times I spent with my grandmother. If my being there with her made her feel any better, I was glad to be there for her.

I don’t like funerals. I’ve been to too many. I felt out of place sitting there. I didn’t know Zakiya. I’m just the guy trying to honor an old lady’s request to find who killed her granddaughter. I thought about Freeze and felt myself getting mad. I guess it showed on my face. Mrs. Phillips nudged me. “Stop looking like that,” she whispered.

After the funeral, I drove away thinking about what I was gonna do next to keep my promise.

When I got to Monika’s apartment, she looked surprised to see me. “I’m honored that you’re here,” she said when I mentioned it.

“What are you talkin’ ’bout?”

“How I hear you cappo da dog or some shit now.”

“How’d you hear about it?”

“Jackie told me.”

“You and Jackie ain’t. .” I had to ask.

“No. It ain’t like she ain’t tried me. But I like dick too much.”

“What’d she say about me being boss?” It felt funny sayin’ it.

“I just told you. I’m just glad to see that even though you the man now that you still got time for your old friends. But you’re probably here because you need something.”

“You’re right, I do need something, but that don’t mean I can’t come see an old friend.”

“So what’s it like?”

“I’m gettin’ used to it.”

“I just never thought it was you, you know, all that gangster shit.”

“What makes you say that?”

“When I met you, you were a soldier. I remember the stories you used to tell about what you used to do, and you always seemed like you were glad to put all that behind you.”

“This was my life back then. Maybe this is who I really am, and I was trying to run away from it.”

“Maybe. I didn’t know you when this was your life. That’s why it just seems funny to me.”

“A lot’s happened since then.”

“You’re right about that. ’Cause back then I never imagined I’d be doin’ what I’m doin’. ”

“You have any luck with those e-mails?”

“Of course I did. Like I told you, I may not be as good as Jett, but I have skills too. This was easy, I got something goin’ and I sure could use his help.”

“What you workin’ on?” I asked, but she didn’t answer me and gave me one of her looks. Whatever she was into she didn’t want to tell me. I respected her privacy. We talked for awhile after that and I got out of there. What I got from Monika came as a bit of a surprise, but it shouldn’t have. The pieces were starting to fit together.

Monika told me that the e-mails were sent from a computer at JR’s club. What she couldn’t tell me just who the account holder was, or more to the point, what their real name was.

“It was set up last October with the first name, Nice; middle name, N; and the last name, Slow,” Monika told me.

When I got to JR’s it was early in the evening. They didn’t have much of a crowd yet. It gave me a chance to talk to the staff and show them the picture I took from Zakiya’s apartment.

I had shown her to a few people before I found one who thought she recognized her. “Yeah,” the waitress said and looked at the picture a little closer. “I seen her before. This picture was taken here,” she said and pointed to the spot where Zakiya posed for the picture. She called over one of her co-workers. She looked at the picture; she had seen Zakiya there too. “Yup, she be up in here all the time.”

“You ever see her with anybody?” I asked as Jeff Ritchie came into the club. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

“I don’t remember her being with nobody, but she be in here all the time.”

I looked at Jeff Ritchie again; he turned away and went in the back of the club. It couldn’t have been two minutes later when Rain came out of the back and headed in my direction.

She was wearing a purple mini-skirt that showed off some very pretty legs, and a white silk blouse that was tied just under a healthy set of titties. As she got closer, I wondered where she was hiding her gun.

When the waitresses saw Rain coming, they dropped their heads and left me standing there to face her alone.

I smiled when I saw the, what the fuck are you doin’ here, look on her face. The question now was how was I gonna play Rain? Since she played me, it was only fair that I returned the favor.

Since the e-mails were sent from somewhere in this building, I assumed that whoever this Nice N. Slow was that they worked there, or had access to whatever computers they had. The question for me was does Rain know who it is.

I think she does.

If that was the case, I know she had to be thinking that she had gotten rid of me with her bullshit and I would look someplace else for Zakiya’s killers.

If she didn’t it would make things more interesting.

“Couldn’t stay away from me?” Rain said when she got close enough for me to hear her over the music.

“That’s one way of lookin’ at it.”

“Whatever it is, Nick, I’m glad to see you. Maybe this time you’ll have a drink with me.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“What you drinkin’?”

“Johnnie Black, straight up.”

Rain signed for one of the waitresses I had just talked to. She tried not to even look in my direction. Rain told her what I wanted. “And bring me a shot of Patron.”

After the waitress went to get our drinks, Rain turned back to me. “You find your shooters yet?”

“Not yet. But I heard from some of her friends that she liked to hangout here.” I took out the picture. “I got a picture of her,” I said and handed Rain the picture. I was anxious to see the expression on her face and the look in her eye when she saw Zakiya’s picture, but there was none.

“Never seen her before. You show that to anybody else here, maybe one of the waitresses seen her here.”

“I did but nobody recognized her,” I lied.

“I ain’t surprised. A lotta people come through here every night.”