“Now, tell me again what it is that you’re going to do that’s more important than shopping for the perfect winter boots?” Miranda’s right hand perched on her hip as she gaped at me as if I’d just spoken Spanish. I slipped my book bag up higher on my shoulder and kept my eyes on the parking lot.
“I’m going to go sign up for volunteer work at the hospital.” I didn’t have a real moral explanation for this. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Miranda how I felt the need to give of myself or whatever one would say that feels the need to go volunteer to help the sick and dying. The truth was I hated hospitals and Miranda knew this. She didn’t know why I hated them. She just knew I did. I’d never been able to explain to her how the wandering souls who filled the halls of the hospitals bothered me.
“So, you’re over the hospital dislike thingy now that you’ve spent a week in there?” she asked curiously. I shrugged because my stay had nothing to do with it.
“Guess so.” It was as good an excuse as any.
“Alright then, if you must go do something for the greater good of others while I go do something for the greater good of my winter wardrobe then I guess I’m good with that.”
I flashed her a smile and then headed toward Leif’s car. He’d left me his keys and said he would get a ride home with Justin. I’d fed him this “I want to go volunteer” stuff too. It wasn’t a total lie. I’d decided this was the best way to see enough souls without someone admitting me into the crazy ward for wandering the halls talking to myself. This way I had a reason to be there and I would find plenty of souls to speak to. Eventually, I would come across one that spoke.
“Call me when you get home from your good deeds and I’ll bring over my purchases and show you.”
“Okay, good luck,” I called as I unlocked the car door and slipped inside. For the first time in three days I had some hope. I kept remembering the look in Dank’s eyes Friday night as he held me. He’d been very real. The fact that no one seemed to think he’d ever walked the halls of our school didn’t mean I was going crazy. The fact was I had been seeing people no one else could see since birth. Something was different about me. This wasn’t breaking news. Dank had secrets and I was going to crack them. I needed to know because I needed him. The answer behind his leaving lay within his secrets and I knew if I could figure it out then I could find him and bring him back.
Chapter Thirteen
I glanced down at my ID tag. My mother would be thrilled. This was going to look wonderful on my college applications. The more community service the better, well, as long as it’s voluntary and not mandatory. I’d been assigned the duty of reading to the children today since it was my first day and they didn’t have anyone to train me to do the more difficult jobs.
I stepped off the elevator at the pediatric floor and three of the souls I’d passed on the previous floor stood watching me. I nodded to them. “Hello,” I said brightly and they all seemed surprised. I turned and followed the directions the front desk volunteer had given me. It didn’t take me but a few moments to realize the pediatric floor was full of wandering souls. I walked past kids in wheelchairs watching me with curiosity. I smiled and said hello as I passed by them. My heart began to ache for reasons other than my loss. Seeing the little smiles on their pale faces wasn’t easy. A little girl with long, red, curly hair caught my attention. She stood at the door to her hospital room staring, not at me but on either side of me and behind me with curiosity before looking directly at me. I slowed my walk and glanced back, realizing that most of the souls I had smiled at and spoken to were following me. She could see them. I stopped and studied her little, sweet face. She was standing up with the use of what appeared to be a walker. She glanced back at them again and smiled warmly and then her little eyes found me. “Do you see them?” I asked in a whisper, afraid others would hear me and think I was insane. She nodded sending her head of red curls bouncing around her.
“Do you?” she asked me in a loud whisper. I nodded. “Cool,” she replied, grinning. I winked and then continued on my way to the activity room. I couldn’t stand and talk to a child in the halls about the souls we could both see without drawing attention. I’d never met anyone else who could see souls. It was hard to just walk away from her knowing little face. But I knew I would see her again. I intended to find her later.
I found the sky blue door with the quote,
I turned back and smiled at the souls who’d followed me inside, “Do any of you have a suggestion?” They all studied me and some drew closer to watch me or touch me. I couldn’t feel them. “No one?” The room remained silent. I sighed and turned back to the books. “Very well, I’ll pick one out myself.”
“My favorite is Where the Wild Things Are.” I spun back around thinking a soul had finally spoken. The souls were all watching the little red headed girl from the hallway. She was standing at the open door smiling at me. “They won’t talk to you, you know. They can’t,” she said as she walked inside.
“They can’t?” I asked staring down into her eyes that appeared so much older than her little body.
She shook her head sadly and sighed. “No, I’ve tried to get them to. They like for you to talk to them.” She paused. “Well, some of them like for you to talk to them but they can’t talk back. They are souls fighting their return so they stay here and wander aimlessly.” She glanced back over her shoulder at them with a sigh. “But they start to forget who they are or why they are here. It’s sad, really. If they would have gone on in the first place then their souls would have been given another body and another life instead of this pointless existence.”
I walked over and sat down on the chair in front of her. “How do you know this?” I asked, amazed someone so small could know so much more than me about the souls I’d seen my whole life.
She shrugged. “I guess he didn’t want me to be scared.
They are scared of him, you see, and he didn’t want me to be scared of him. He didn’t want me to be scared of them either. And I think maybe he didn’t want me to become like them.”
I shook my head trying to figure out who she was talking about. “What do you mean? Who is he?”
She frowned and the souls who had gathered in the room vanished. “They’re scared of him, like I said. He’s the only thing they do remember because he was the last thing they saw while alive. Silly, really, it isn’t his fault. It was just their appointed time.” I froze at her words and grabbed the arm of the chair I was sitting in for support.
My heart started pounding in my chest as I asked, “What do you mean by ‘appointed time’?”
She studied me a minute and then whispered, “It was their appointed time to die. Just like mine will come soon. He told me. He wasn’t supposed to but he can break the rules if he wants. No one can stop him. It’s ultimately his decision.” I swallowed the bile in my throat at the mention of this little girl talking about her death.
“Who told you?” I asked again.
She shook her head. “Don’t look so sad. He said this body I have is sick and once I die I’ll get a new body and a new life. Souls aren’t forced to wander the Earth. Only those too scared to go on are left here to wander. If you chose to leave the Earth you’ll return in a new body and a new life. Your soul will, however, be the same. He told me the man who wrote my favorite books,
I took a deep breath to calm myself before asking one more time. “Who is ‘he’?”
She frowned. “The author? C.S. Lewis.”
I shook my head. “No, the ‘he’ that has told you all of this. The ‘he’ that the souls are scared of.” She frowned and turned around to leave. “No, wait, please…I need to know who he is,” I begged.
She glanced back at me and shook her head. “Until it’s your appointed time you can’t know.” She left.
I held the book,
