Cathbad’s mumbo-jumbo to think that it’s possible for there actually to be a dream world where souls wander between life and death? She hears Erik’s voice.
‘Ruth! You look like you’re in another world.’
It’s Shona, glowing and beautiful in a purple smock over white jeans. Her hair, almost orange in the afternoon sunlight, clashes brilliantly with the Imperial purple. She looks like a stained-glass window come to life.
‘I just came in to get some books for Phil. He’s still suffering with this flu, poor darling.’
So that was why Phil didn’t come charging in earlier. Still struck down with terminal man flu.
‘Are you OK, Ruth? You look awfully pale.’
Perhaps because Shona looks so vibrant and full of life while she feels so low, Ruth has a sudden desire to tell Shona everything.
‘It’s Nelson…’ she begins.
She tells Shona about Nelson’s illness and Michelle’s visit. When she gets to the part about seeing Nelson, Shona says, as Ruth knew she would.
‘But why would Michelle want you to go to see Nelson?’
Ruth says nothing. She knows Shona will work it out sooner or later.
‘Ruth! Nelson’s not…?’
Ruth nods.
‘Bloody hell.’ Shona sits down heavily on Ruth’s visitor’s chair.
‘Nelson’s Kate’s father?’
‘Yes.’
‘And his wife knows?’
‘She found out at the christening.’
‘How?’
Funny, Ruth has never asked this question. ‘I don’t know.’
‘God, Ruth,’ Shona is staring at her now, half-resentfully, half almost admiringly. ‘Nelson. I’d never have guessed. I thought you didn’t like him much.’
‘He has his moments,’ says Ruth drily.
‘Did you have an affair with him?’
‘It was just one night,’ says Ruth. ‘That’s all it takes.’
‘One night? Jesus, Ruth, why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I didn’t want to tell anyone.’
‘Does Cathbad know?’
‘I think he suspects.’
‘What about Phil?’
‘Please don’t tell Phil!’
It comes out almost as a scream. Ruth realises that she is very near tears.
‘All right,’ says Shona soothingly. ‘I won’t tell Phil. So now Nelson’s wife wants you to visit him. Bloody hell, that’s big of her.’
Ruth lowers her eyes. ‘I know.’
‘She must really love him.’
‘She does.’
Shona looks at her curiously. ‘Why did you say no?’
‘It’s Kate,’ says Ruth. ‘I’m scared of her getting sick.’
‘But she wasn’t asking you to take Kate, was she? Babies aren’t allowed in hospitals. I know that because Phil’s boys won’t be allowed in to see me when I have the baby. It’s a bit harsh, I think.’
‘I know but I might carry some germs back to her, infect her. No one knows what’s wrong with Nelson.’
Ruth looks almost timidly at her friend. She half wants Shona to tell her that she’s doing the right thing. Ruth has slept with another woman’s husband and is now refusing to move a muscle to save that man’s life but she’s still doing the right thing. The other half of her wants Shona to say that she’s being ridiculous and to order her a minicab to the hospital.
But Shona is still looking at her as if she has never seen her before.
‘Michelle must really love him,’ she says again.
Judy is sitting at Nelson’s desk. Dead man’s shoes, she thinks morbidly. But Nelson’s still alive and where there’s life there’s hope and all those other irritating, but none the less oddly reassuring, cliches. It’s darkest before dawn. Where did she hear that one recently? Got to get worse before it gets better, she tells herself savagely, looking at the transcript of her interview with Randolph Smith. Does she really think that there’s anything suspicious about Danforth Smith’s death? She has requested a copy of the death certificate. Cause of death: I Myocardial infarction II diabetes mellitus. Seems straightforward enough, heart attack complicated by an existing medical condition, but what about all that spooky stuff with the snakes? Did something happen that night that literally scared Lord Smith to death?
She thinks about Randolph. She did find him attractive, in a theoretical way, though she would never admit as much to Clough. He’s not really her type though; she’s never been one for posh men. But then Cathbad’s not exactly Judy’s type either, which doesn’t explain why she can’t keep away from him; why, within seconds of meeting, they are ripping each other’s clothes off despite promising each other solemnly that it’s never going to happen again. Judy can’t explain it and she doesn’t try. For the past few months she’s been wandering around in an erotic trance, knowing that she’s headed for disaster. And now this news about Nelson… Cathbad had been devastated when she told him, unlike Ruth, who had seemed strangely cold. She wonders, fearfully, whether Nelson’s illness will be the final catalyst that will send the whole edifice of her life tumbling to the ground. The last straw, the last nail in the coffin, and various other cliches.
She ought to have another team meeting but she can’t face it just yet. Clough and Tanya are trudging round the haulage yards, Rocky is out on a course designed to turn him (not before time) into a ‘twenty-first-century police professional’. Only Tom Henty is in the building and Judy is rather afraid of Tom, having been told once too often how he was out on the beat before she was even born. Maybe she should go back to the yard and confront Len Harris. It would be easier without Clough cringing at the horses and putting his flat foot in the horse muck. She allows herself a slight smile, reliving the episode. Then she stops, smile frozen on her face. She sees the offending pile of manure, hears Clough’s furious cursing and she sees something else too, sees it for the first time.
She knows what’s going on at Slaughter Hill Stables.
CHAPTER 26
Night. Michelle sits at Nelson’s bedside. Rebecca and Laura have gone home, exhausted by their late-night summons and the emotion of the day. But Michelle sits on, watching the red and green lights of the machines, looking at a cobweb high on the corniced ceiling. A few miles away, on the very edge of the coast, Kate, too, is asleep, unaware of her father’s epic struggle. She has had a fairly epic struggle herself, as she hadn’t wanted to go to bed while Cathbad was in the house and available for fun. But Ruth had, for once, insisted, and Kate now sleeps fretfully in her white cot with the oyster shell dreamcatcher overhead. And in the garden, watched from an upstairs window by a frightened and sceptical Ruth, Cathbad burns branches and walks slowly round the flames.
Nelson’s eyes move under his closed eyelids. What is he seeing, Michelle wonders. Nelson has always been so impatient, so incapable of staying still, it seems impossible that he can just be lying there, tied down by wires and drips and monitors. Michelle doesn’t know when she last watched him sleep. It has always been Nelson who gets up first, who goes downstairs to make her a cup of tea. He likes the early mornings, he always says. On Sunday mornings he used to watch the early edition of
