Chapter 4
Neither my mother nor Milo said very much about Jack, which I found rather odd. Jane had been exploding with the urge to prattle on about him since the moment she saw him, but she did have much less self-control than most people.
And in Milo’s case, he was probably trying to keep his feelings about Jack’s visit under wraps. I had gotten home very late from hanging out with Jack, as per usual. After the arcade had closed, we had loitered at a Blockbuster, before deciding that neither of us wanted to rent anything, then drove around for awhile before finally dropping me at home. Mom was gone at work, and Milo had gone to bed, so there was nothing to be said then.
When I finally roused the next day, I immediately went to talk to Milo about Jack. I hadn’t expected him to expound very much, but his very clipped, “He seems nice” did not do the night justice. I wanted to inquire further, but I bit my tongue. The fact that Milo was apparently hiding something so important from me made me feel uncomfortable, and I didn’t really know how to proceed with conversation. A part of me wanted to just bring it out in the open and demand that he tell me, but it was his thing and he had to come to terms with it on his own time, no matter how anxious it made me.
Because of my feelings of unease, I decided to camp out in bed all day, reading and listening to Death Cab for Cutie. When Mom got up, I went out to get a soda and find out her thoughts on Jack, but disappointingly, they just mirrored Milo’s sentiments. It wasn’t that I wanted her to go on and gush about Jack until I threw up, but their hesitance to even say anything real about him disturbed me. I knew that they’d probably been embarrassed about the way they had salivated over him last night and were going through a Jack-hang over of sorts, but still.
Once she confirmed that it was perfectly acceptable for me to continue seeing Jack, I gave up on it. At least she liked him, and I could do what I wanted.
Then I went back into my room to try and figure out why it was so important to me that I kept seeing him. I hadn’t fallen under his spell the same way most people did, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t under one. As he had pointed out, I was attracted to him, otherwise I wouldn’t be there. I just wasn’t attracted to him in the normal sense.
I sprawled out in bed and wondered if it was something like that bad Love Potion No. 9 movie with Sandra Bullock. They drank this potion, and suddenly, everybody wanted them. Maybe Jack had done that too. In some kind of weird government experiment. But we lived in Minnesota. Why would the government experiment here? Were there even like CIA or FBI headquarters here? That would be a really stupid test anyway. What would the practical applications of such a potion be? And does anyone really make potions anymore?
Eventually, I gave up on it and went back to reading my book. That managed to kill an entire afternoon, but I grew tired of laying in bed. I went out to the kitchen to reheat some of Milo’s lasagna and watch TV. Milo sat on the computer the entire time and barely said a word to me. I couldn’t tell if he was mad at me for ditching him last night, or just going through his own conflicted deal about his sexuality. Either way, I didn’t push him on it, so I ate quickly, and then spent the rest of the night in my room. I went to bed that night, feeling a little surprised that Jack hadn’t talked to me at all.
Since it was my last day of Spring Break, I decided to make the most of it by sleeping the entire day away. I knew that it would only make it harder when I tried to go to bed at a decent time or get up for school the next morning, but I didn’t care. When I finally rolled out of bed, I showered and got ready for the day. I still felt like avoiding Milo, so I text messaged Jack. Besides, it was my last day, so I had to get out and do something.
What are you up to today? I was sitting on my bedroom floor, painting my toenails dark blue, because I theorized that it would take Jack a long time to answer, even though it never did. It just seemed completely unfathomable to me that he didn’t have anything better to do then text me. Or hang out with me, for that matter.
Just woke up. He texted me back promptly, as I should’ve known he would.
Sorry. Did I wake you? It was after six o’clock, but from what little time I’d spent with Jack, I had a feeling he never went to bed before dawn, so it didn’t surprise me that he’d still be sleeping.
Kinda. But its ok. I needed to get up anyway.
So, did you want to do something today? Fanning my freshly painted nails so they’d dry, I stared at my phone expectantly. I loved texting because it made it so much easier to talk to people. I would have had to spend hours building up the courage to call Jack, but I hated how long it took to get a response.
Yeah. When?
Probably sooner rather than later. I have school tomorrow. Thinking about going to school in the morning was completely depressing. The break had gone by much too fast, and I knew part of that had to do with all the time I’d been spending with Jack lately.
Ridiculous!:(Ok. Let me shower and I’ll pick you up in an hour. Cool? Jack responded, making me laugh. The fact that I was going to school would impede his life in some way, and it made me feel a little special.
Cool. See you soon.
Once my toenails dried, I finished getting ready. I slipped on a pair of skimmer shoes, which completely covered up the polishing I had just done, but it was still too cold for anything open-toed. Applying eyeliner and mascara, I admired myself in the mirror for a minute. I would never be a stunning beauty like Jane, but I wasn’t terrible to look at. My eyes were an ever-changing hazel color (today they looked more green) and my dark hair went past my shoulders.
Frequently, I thought about getting it chopped off like Jane, but I’d never been that brave.
Milo was staked out on the computer like usual when I went out into the living room. I’d just put on a tee shirt and jeans, so I slipped on my white zippered Famous Stars and Straps hoodie over it. Even with that, I’d still probably freeze my butt off outside, but I thought my jackets were gross, so this was the better option.
“Going out?” Milo didn’t look away from the computer screen, and his voice was too flat for me to decipher.
“Yep.” I nodded. I really didn’t appreciate the lack of communication between us, but I didn’t know how to fix it. “With Jack. I won’t be out too late.
Cause of school in the morning.”
“Whatever,” Milo said noncommittally. There was no lecture or disapproval, and I sighed deeply.
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you later.” I started walking towards the door, but he didn’t say anything, so I waited to leave until he responded. He grunted something that sounded vaguely like “bye,” but I figured that was the best I would get, and I headed outside.
Jack had driven the Jetta again, and I wondered how he decided which car to take. He was singing along very merrily with Kanye West to “Stronger,” and he barely seemed to notice me when I hopped into the car. We sat outside the apartment building until the song finished, then he turned down the radio and grinned at me.
“So, I was thinking we would take a walk tonight,” Jack suggested brightly.
“Okay. Where?” The night was a bit chilly, but it wouldn’t be unbearable.
Just the same, he was wearing a hoodie and pants today, forgoing his normal tee shirt and shorts combo that seemed highly inappropriate for March.
“Loring Park.” He had started pulling away as soon as he said it.
The park was only about half a mile from where I lived, but because it was on the other side of the highway, it made it almost a necessity to drive to it. I-94 had split it in half, but it used to be connected to the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, where they had that giant spoon with the cherry (Spoonbridge and Cherry) along with lots of other fancy little sculptures. We ended up going to the actual Loring Park, without all the sculptures, but lots of paths and trees and all the usual beautiful park standards.
After he parked, I got out of the car and admired the stars shining brightly above us. They were usually hard to see, thanks to the city lights, but the cold, spring air made them stand out sharply. I looked around for Orion, the only constellation I really know, but Jack started walking down a trail, so I followed after him, vowing to search the skies later on.
“So you really have school tomorrow?” Jack asked grumpily once I caught up with him. He shoved his hands
