concentrating on killing innocent people in Asia. When you get your invite to join the army, there are lots of ways you can prepare yourself mentally. Begin by staggering up to a cop and telling him you don’t know who you are or where you live. He’ll arrange for you to be chauffeured to the nearest mental hospital. There you repeat your performance, dropping the clue that you have used LSD in the past, but you aren’t sure if you’re on it now or not. In due time, they’ll put you up for the night. When morning comes, you bounce out of bed, remember who you are, swear you’ll never drop acid again and thank everyone who took care of you. Within a few hours, you’ll be discharged. Don’t be uptight about thinking how they’ll lock you up forever cause you really are nuts. The hospitals measure victories by how quickly they can throw you out the door. They are all overcrowded anyway.
In most areas, a one-night stand in a mental hospital is enough to convince the shrink at the induction center that you’re capable of eating the flesh of a colonel.
Just before you go, see a sympathetic psychiatrist and explain your sad mental shape. He’ll get verification that you did time in a hospital and include it in his letter, that you’ll take along to the induction center.
When you get to the physical examination, a high point in any young man’s life, there are lots of things working in your favor. Here, long hair helps; the army doesn’t want to bother with trouble-makers. Remember this even though a tough looking sergeant runs down bullshit about “how they’re gonna fix your ass” and “anybody with a trigger finger gets passed.” He’s just auditioning for the Audie Murphy movies, so don’t believe anything he lays down.
Talk to the other guys about how rotten the war in Vietnam is and how if you get forced to go, you’ll end up shooting some officers. Tell them you’d like the training so you can come back and take up with the Weathermen.
Check off as many items as can’t be verified when given the forms. Suicide, dizzy spells, bed-wetting, dope addiction, homosexuality, hepatitis. Be able to drop a few symptoms on the psychiatrist to back up your story of rejection by a cold and brutal society that was indifferent, from a domineering father that beat you, and mother that didn’t understand anything. Be able to trace your history of bad family relationships, your taking to the streets at 15 and eventually your getting “hooked.” Let him “pry” things out of you if possible. Show him your letter if you had the foresight to get one.
Practice a good story before you go for the physical with someone who has already beat the system. If your local board is fucked up, you can transfer to an area that disqualifies almost everyone who wants out, such as the New York City boards. If you can’t think of anything you can always get FUCK ARMY tattooed on the outside of the baby finger of your right hand and give the tough sergeant a snappy salute and a hearty “yes sir!”[4]
CANADA, SWEDEN & POLITICAL ASYLUM
If you’ve totally fucked up your chances of getting a deferment or already are in the service and considering ditching, there are some things that you should know about asylum.
There are three categories of countries that you should be interested in if you are planning to ship out to avoid the draft or a serious prison term. The safest countries are those with which Amerika has mutual offense treaties such as Cuba, North Korea and those behind the so-called Iron Curtain. The next safest are countries unfriendly to the U.S. but suffer the possibility of a military coup which might radically affect your status. Cambodia is a recent example of a border-line country. Some cats hijacked a ship bound for Vietnam and went to Cambodia where they were granted asylum. Shortly thereafter the military with a good deal of help from the CIA, took over and now the cats are in jail. Algeria is currently a popular sanctuary in this category.
Sweden will provide political asylum for draft dodgers and deserters. It helps to have a passport, but even that isn’t necessary since they are required by their own laws to let you in. There are now about 35,000 exiles from the Pig Empire living in Sweden. The American Deserters Committee, Upplandsgaten 18, Stockholm, phone 08- 344663, will provide you with immediate help, contacts and procedural information once you get there. If you enter as a tourist with a passport, you can just go to the local police station, state you are seeking asylum and fill out a form. It’s that sample. They stamp your passport and this allows you to hustle rent and food from the Swedish Social Bureau. It takes six months for you to get working papers that will permit you to get employment, but you can live on welfare until then with no hassle. The following places can be contacted, for additional help. They are all in Stockholm:
• Reverend Tom Hayes 82-42-11 or 21-45-86
• Kristina Nystrom of the Social Bureau 08-230570
• Bengt Suderstrom 31-84-32 (legal)
• Hans-Goran Franck 10-25-02 (legal)
Canada does not offer political asylum but they do not support the U.S. foreign policy in Southeast Asia so they allow draft dodgers and deserters to the current tune of 50,000 to live there unmolested. Do not tell the officials at the border that you are a deserter or draft dodger, as they will turn you in. Pose as a visitor. To work in Canada you have to qualify for landed immigration status under a point system.
There will be a number of background questions asked and you have to score 50 points or better to pass and qualify. You get one point for each year of formal education, 10 points if you have a professional skill, 10 points for being between 18-35 years of age, more points for having a Canadian home and job waiting for you, for knowing English or French and a whopping 15 points for having a stereotyped middle class appearance and life-style. Letters from a priest or rabbi will help here. Some entry points are easier than others. Kingsgate, for example, just north of Montana is very good on weekdays after 10:00 P.M.
The best approach if you are considering going to Canada is to write or, better still, visit the Montreal Council to Aid War Resisters, Case Postale 5, Westmount, Montreal, 215 Quebec or American Deserters Committee, 3837 Blvd., Saint Laurent, St. Louis, Montreal 3, Quebec. They will provide you with the latest info on procedures and the problems of living in Canada as a war resister. If you can’t make it up there, see a local anti-war organization for counseling. If you are already in the army, you should find out all you need to know before you ditch.
It’s best to cross the border while you’re on leave as it might mean the difference between going AWOL and desertion if you decide to come back. In any event, no one should renounce their citizenship until they have qualified for landed immigration status as that would classify the person as a non-resident and make it possible for the Canadian police to send you back, which on a few rare occasions has happened.
Because there have been few cases of fugitives from the U.S. seeking political asylum, there is not a clear and ample formula that can be stated. Germany, France, Belgium and Sweden will often offer asylum for obvious political cases but each case must be considered individually. Go there incognito. Contact a movement organization or lawyer and have them make application to the government. Usually they will let you stay if you promise not to engage in political organizing in their country. In any event if they deport you these countries are good enough to let you pick the country to which you desire to be sent.
We feel it’s our obligation to let people know that life in exile is not all a neat deal, not by a long shot. You are removed from the struggle here at home, the problems of finding work are immense and the customs of the people are strange to you. Most people are unhappy in exile. Many return, some turn themselves in and others come back to join the growing radical underground making war in the belly of the great white whale.
8. STEAL NOW, PAY NEVER
SHOPLIFTING
