He turned in a patch of golden light and recognised Lady Bazeley’s companion.
“I did not know you were here, ma’am. I thought you would be with Sir Lewis and his lady.”
The woman stood very still, and he felt the intensity of her eyes, although her features remained hidden in shadow.
She said, “We did not go. Her ladyship was unwell. It seemed the safest thing to do.”
He heard footsteps, measured, precise, and relaxed again. It was the marine sentry at the gates, pacing his post, his mind doubtless far removed from this place.
The woman touched his arm, and then withdrew her hand just as quickly, like an unwilling conspirator.
“My lady would like to see you before you leave, sir. We saw you earlier in the day. And then you came back.” She hesitated. “It is safe, if you will allow me to lead.”
Adam looked back, but there was only silence. Forbes must have known that the women had stayed behind, but had made a point of not mentioning that either.
Was she really unwell, or was she merely bored, needing to be amused? At my expense.
He said, “Lead on, ma’am.” Perhaps she wanted to remind him of his awkward advances, his clumsiness. He thought of the leadsman’s cry. No bottom! What it had meant, after the risk he had taken for what Lovatt would have called a gesture, a conceit.
The woman walked swiftly ahead of him, untroubled by the rough paving where he guessed guns had stood in the past when Malta had been in constant fear of attack. Perhaps she was used to running errands for her mistress. He recognised the same parapet as before, but knew it was at the opposite side of the rambling building, in shadow now, the old embrasures touched with colour from the melting light.
And the view was the same. When he had held her, and the invisible orchestra had offered its private gift of music. Ships anchored as before, some already displaying lights, topmasts clinging to the last copper glow, flags limp, barely moving.
And then he saw her, her gown pale against the dull stone, the fan open in her hand.
She said, “So you came, Captain. You honour us.”
He moved closer and took the hand she offered him.
“I thought you were away, m’ lady. Otherwise-”
“Ah, that word again.” She did not flinch as he kissed her hand. “I heard there was fighting. That you were fighting.”
It sounded like an accusation, but he said nothing. Nor did he release her hand.
She said in the same level tone, “But you are safe. I heard you laugh just now. Recognised it. Enjoying some of Sir Graham’s cognac in his absence, yes?”
He smiled. “Something like that. And you, I hear you were ill?”
She tossed her head, and he saw her hair fall loose across one shoulder.
“I am well enough, thank you.” She withdrew her hand slowly and deliberately, then turned slightly away, towards the ships and the harbour.
She said, “I was concerned, about you, for you. Is that so strange?”
“When we last met-”
She shook her head again. “No. Do not speak of it! There were so many things I wanted to say, to share, to explain. I could not even manage that unaided.”
There was a catch in her voice, more from anger than despair.
“I showed you arrogance when I wanted only to thank you for helping me as you did. There has been no word of it, so I knew you had said nothing.” She held up the fan to silence him. “Others would, and well you know it!”
He said, “Because I cared. I still do. You are another man’s wife, and I know what harm this might cause. To both of us.”
She did not seem to hear him. “I know that people talk behind my back. Giving myself to a much older man, because of power, because of wealth. I am not so young that I do not understand how they think.”
He said abruptly, “Walk with me.” He took her hand again, expecting her to resist, to turn on him, but she did neither. “Like old friends, you see?”
She held his arm and fell into step beside him. Only by the parapet could the sounds of the harbour and a nearby street reach them.
She said, “I spoke with your Captain Forbes. He told me of you and your family.” He felt her turn to look at him. “Your uncle. I knew some of it. I guessed some of it, too, when I heard you speak that night with such conviction, and when you were talking with your men and did not know I was there.” He felt the pressure of her hand on his arm. “And then you helped me.”
“When you were sick.”
She laughed softly. “I was drunk, like some dockside slut!” She quickened her pace, and he could sense her mind moving, exploring it again. “He came to me that night, did you know? He is like that. He cannot believe that I need to be myself on occasion, a person-not some thing to arouse his passion!”
He said, “I think you should stop, m’ lady. I came here because I wanted to see you. Even if you had spat in my face, I would have come.”
She stopped by the parapet once more and stared at the anchored vessels. Almost to herself, she murmured, “Your world, Adam. Something I can never share.” She turned. “I did not marry from choice, or out of greed, for myself.”
Without realising what he was doing, he put his fingers to her lips.
“There is no need to tell me. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, or what I might have done, if my life had been different. So let this be a secret between us.”
Gently, firmly, she pulled his hand away.
“My father was a fine man, but when my mother died of fever he seemed to fall apart. Sir Lewis, as he now is, was his junior partner, a man of ambition. He was quick to come to his assistance.” She touched the buttons on his coat. “And he taught him how to enjoy himself again.” She laughed, a small, bitter sound on the still air. “Introduced him to others who would help to expand the business, the only thing he had left to care about. Gambling, drink… he would not listen to a word against Lewis. He could not see the ground opening beneath his feet. There were debts, broken contracts with government commissions, with the military as well as the navy. In the end,” she gave a little shrug, and Adam felt it like a blow, “prison was the only reality. We would have been left like beggars. My two brothers also work for the business. I was given little choice. No choice at all.”
He hardly dared to speak, afraid to break the moment.
“So he asked you to marry him, and then all the debts would be made good, and the business restored.”
“You know my husband,” she said. “What do you believe?”
“I believe I should go. Leave here without delay.” He felt her move as though she too would go, but he did not release her. “I know I have no right, and others would condemn me…”
She said softly, “But?” Only one word.
“That night, aboard my ship, I wanted you.” He pulled her closer, feeling her warmth, her nearness. Her awareness. “I still do.”
She leaned against him, her face in his shirt, perhaps giving herself time to recognise the danger, and the folly.
She said, “You have not been fed by the gallant Captain Forbes. I can at least do something about that.” She tried to laugh. “I can smell the cognac, so I was right about the pair of you!”
But when he held her again she was shivering.
“We will go inside… then you can tell me all about yourself.” She could not continue. “Come, now. Quickly. Banish all doubts!” She paused only to look at the harbour. “All that can wait, this once.”
Even though he had never set foot in the place before, he knew it was the same. Here Catherine had spent her last night with her Richard, in these rooms which Avery had found so difficult to describe, and of which Bethune had carefully avoided speaking, as if it was too painful even for him.
He walked to a window and eased the shutter aside very slightly and looked down into the courtyard, dark now but for the reflected glow from a copper dusk.
He heard the sentry at the gates stamp his feet, and the clink of metal as he shifted his musket, yawning at the dragging hours.
