crew which had brought him ashore had felt the rough edge of his tongue.
And now he was here, and all his original confidence had deserted him. It could have been the first time. It might never have happened at all, except in his mind.
The narrow street was deserted. Everybody, it seemed, was still down at the harbour, watching the activity, sightseers in their small craft being held back or chased away by the guard boats
He thought of Adam Bolitho, remembering his face when he had lost his temper, forgetting that the flag lieutenant and the secretary were still within earshot. And Tolan.
It had blown over, but Bethune still wondered if the air between them would clear.
And Bolitho had acted correctly. As Nelson had often proclaimed, the written order should never be a substitute for a captain's initiative. And he was right.
He calmed himself with effort and unfastened his cloak.
He looked up at the steps and beyond, at the clouds drifting past Monk's Hill and the lookout station which had first sighted the ill-matched vessels making their approach. That must have been ten hours ago. Things had moved very quickly after that. He relaxed a little and said, 'I'm not to be disturbed. By anybody.' He relented slightly. 'Good work, Tolan.'
He reached the top of the steps and saw her waiting for him, as he knew she would be. Exactly as he always saw her in his thoughts, composed, beautiful, unreachable. She was dressed in dark green, her neck and shoulders bare and browned by the sun, her dark hair loose and quite still in the heavy air.
She said, 'I received your message. You should not have come. Antigua is like a village. No secrets.'
He glanced at the telescope in its tripod and across the placid water of English Harbour. There were still crowds of small craft moving around the barque, and boats alongside her, tackles busily hoisting and lowering equipment and stores.
A great capture, was how the commodore had described it. The whole of the Caribbean probably knew about it by now.
She hesitated, then held out her hand. 'But you are welcome, Graham.' She watched him bow his head to kiss her fingers. 'What's done is done.'
He said, 'The barque is the Villa de Bilbao, first registered in Vigo.' She noticed, too, that he did not release her hand.
'I know.' She saw him start. 'I was there, a year or so ago, when she was completed.'
She withdrew her hand and walked to the end of the balcony. 'I was there.' She shrugged. 'And several places in Spain, when I was helping Lord Sillitoe with some business matters. I speak Spanish well, you see.'
She swung round suddenly, her back to the water, her eyes flashing. 'Why am I telling you, of all people? You know it already! Everywhere we have been, there have always been questions, and suspicions. Spain, Jamaica, even here in Antigua! '
'And what about Cuba… Havana?'
She turned again, slowly, as if the defiance and anger had drained her.
'I heard about the slaver, and the attack on one of your ships.'
She shrugged once more, and Bethune felt it like a pain.
She continued in the same unemotional tone, 'I shall return to England soon. But you know that too, I suppose?'
He stood beside her and caught the scent of jasmine. 'Captain Adam Bolitho is with me. He knows you are close by, Catherine.'
She hesitated, and said, 'Kate.'
He said, 'You see the little sloop, the LotusT
'I watched her come into the anchorage. Just as I saw her leave, nine, ten days ago. I forget.'
He pointed across the balustrade. 'My first ship was very like her. A sloop-of war they were called in those days. She was named Sparrow.'
He felt her nod, her voice husky as she murmured, 'Richard's first command. He often spoke of her.'
He said, 'This is not like the 'back stairs' at the Admiralty, Kate.'
She did not turn or look at him. 'Or the park, by the dead trees where foolish young men fought one another, and often died because of a woman.'
'You've not forgotten.'
'Did you think I would?' Then she did face him, sharply. 'But I'm not young any more, not just a girl who wanted to love and be loved! An affair is that what they call it? Something those deprived of affection would never understand. Like that night when I was nearly killed, when he was the only one who helped and protected me, did any one really care '
'I did, Kate, and well you know it. I cursed myself a million times for letting you go alone to your house.'
He watched her, surprised that she was suddenly calm again; or so she appeared. Only her breathing betrayed her.
'What are you saying to me, Graham. You are bored with your personal life as it is? Your wife and children, two, isn't it, no longer engage all your attention and energy?' She reached up and touched his mouth with her fingers. 'No, hear me. The darling of the nation, they called me. The beloved of England 's hero. It soon changed when Richard was killed. You saw the cartoons? The clever cruelty of the news sheets?'
He gripped her hand, and when she tried to pull it away held it more tightly.
'I want you, Kate. I have never stopped wanting you since that very first meeting.'
He felt her fingers relax. 'I remember.'
They faced the harbour again, side by side. Then he said, 'I shall be leaving the navy soon. Vice-admiral is more than I ever expected to attain.' He laughed hollowly. 'But Our Nel rose no higher, so I am satisfied. I may be offered a post elsewhere, perhaps with the East India Company my aide's father seems to think it might suit.'
He turned away from the sea, toward her. 'But I want it with you.'
She moved to the telescope and touched it uncertainly, her composure shaken.
'I thought you wanted me as something else. There was no hint in your letters I had no real idea.'
Bethune smiled. 'So you did read them.'
She looked away, one hand playing with her hair. 'And destroyed them.'
He said, after a silence, 'Your friend, Sillitoe. He may well be in serious trouble.'
Her hand moved, dismissively.
'I know about the company he deals with in London. He has made no secret of it. He was the Prince Regent's Inspector-General, as you well know.' She added sharply, 'As was my late husband, you were no doubt about to remind me.'
'It goes far deeper than that.' Something seemed to move him. He gripped her shoulders and held her directly in front of him, feeling the surprise, the irritation. 'I want you to stay here until you leave for England. No matter what is suggested, remain here. I will take care of things.' At any second she would break away, or scream at him. He could feel the warm skin under his fingers, like silk. Once again he had ruined it. Like the stupid midshipman he had just described.
She said quietly, not looking at him, her dark eyes veiled by the lashes:
'Do you know what you have done, Graham?' She shook her head, and he saw the gold filigree earrings gleam through her hair, the ones she was almost always wearing when they had met; Richard had given them to her. 'You have laid yourself wide open to blame, and worse, if it becomes known that you have warned me. Don't you care?'
He answered evenly, 'When you see an enemy, and his gun ports are staring at you like pitiless eyes, it is too late to bargain, or count the costs.' Then the smile came, easily. 'I want you, Kate. No bargains. I have always loved you.'
A door opened and slammed shut. She said, 'My maid, Marquita. I shall ask her to prepare some wine. Surely we can sit together now, and be friends, before you leave?'
Later the little maid Marquita carried a message down to George Tolan.
He was no longer required to stand watch.
He did not return to the ship. Neither did his admiral.
John Bowles, the cabin servant, held up the captain's discarded coat at arm's length and exclaimed, 'This will not tolerate many more days at sea, sir! It was a blessing you didn't go aloft in your best uniform I'm not sure what
