Lucy didn’t want to feel sorry for her sister. But Alice’s face was wretched, and she looked all of about twelve years old.
Hobbling to her—Lucy’s leg was beginning to hurt—she sat beside Alice on the chilled stone steps. The forest was quiet but not at all silent, the air filled with rustling of leaves, chitters of small birds, flaps of wings, droning of insects.
“What is that?” Lucy asked after a while, looking at the white fabric on Alice’s lap.
“Veil.” Alice showed her the pearl-studded headband the tulle was attached to.
“It’s pretty.”
Alice turned to her, sniffling, and gripped the sleeve of Lucy’s shirt with both hands as a small child might. “Kevin doesn’t love me,” she whispered.
“He doesn’t love anyone,” Lucy said, putting an arm around her.
Another pained whisper. “You think I deserve this.”
“No.”
“You hate me.”
“No.” Lucy turned enough to put her forehead against her sister’s.
“I’m fucked up.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know why I did it. Any of it. I shouldn’t have taken him away from you.”
“You couldn’t have. If he’d really been mine, no one could have.”
“I’m so sad. So s-sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Alice was quiet for a long time, her tears seeping through the fabric of Lucy’s sleeve. “I couldn’t do anything. Mom and Dad … they never let me try anything. I felt useless. Like a failure.”
“You mean when we were growing up.”
Alice nodded. “And then I got used to having everything done for me. If something got hard, I gave up and someone always finished it for me.”
Lucy realized that every time she and her parents had stepped in to take care of Alice, they had given her the message that she couldn’t do it for herself.
“I’ve always been jealous of you,” Alice continued, “because you could do anything you wanted. You’re not afraid of things. You don’t need anyone to take care of you.”
“Alice,” Lucy said, “you don’t need Mom and Dad’s permission to take charge of your own life. Find something you want to do, and don’t give up on it. You can start tomorrow.”
“And then I’ll fall flat on my face,” Alice said dully.
“Yes. And after you fall, you’ll pick yourself up off the ground, and stand on your own two feet without anyone helping you … and that’s when you’ll know you can take care of yourself.”
“Oh, bite me,” Alice said, and Lucy smiled and hugged her.
Twenty-one
Everyone on the island, including Sam’s vineyard crew, had heard about the cancelation of Kevin and Alice’s wedding, and all the subsequent fallout. Everyone was talking about it. The only reason Sam had listened to the gossip was in hopes of catching any little crumb of information about Lucy. But her name was seldom mentioned. He’d heard that the Marinns had gone ahead and given the rehearsal dinner, and the next day they had held the reception that had been planned for after the wedding. There had been music and food and drinking. Sam had also heard that the Marinns were considering suing Kevin for at least part of the expenses, including the plane ticket he’d used to go on his self-bestowed vacation.
It had been three days since Lucy had visited Rainshadow. Mark, Maggie, and Holly had just come back from the honeymoon, and Sam and Alex had helped to move them into their new place, a remodeled three-bedroom farmhouse with a pond.
When Sam couldn’t stand it any longer, he called Lucy and left a short message, asking if he could talk to her. She didn’t return the call.
Sam was at wit’s end. He couldn’t eat or sleep. Not thinking about Lucy took more energy than thinking about her.
Mark had talked to him at length about the situation. “This Mitchell Art Center thing sounds like a big deal.”
“It’s as prestigious as hell.”
“So you don’t want to ask her to turn it down.”
“No. I’d never want Lucy to make that kind of sacrifice. In fact, I’m glad she’s going. It’s good for both of us.”
Mark had given him a sardonic glance. “How exactly is it good for you?”
“I don’t do commitment.”
“Why?”
“Because I
“You’re exactly like me, idiot. Trying like hell to avoid a repeat of what we went through growing up. Do you think it was easy for me, admitting that I was in love with Maggie? Asking her to marry me?”
“No.”
“Well, it was.” Mark smiled at Sam’s baffled expression. “Find the right person, Sam, and the most difficult thing in the world becomes the easiest thing in the world. I had the same problems as you. No escape from that, in the Nolan family. But I’ll tell you this—there’s no way I could let Maggie go without at least telling her I loved her. And once I did that … I had no choice but to hold my breath, and take the leap.”
* * *
Approximately eighty-five and a half hours after Sam had last seen Lucy—not that he was counting—a delivery was made to the house at Rainshadow Vineyard. A couple of guys with a pickup truck carefully unloaded a large flat object and brought it up the front steps. Coming in from the vineyard, Sam reached the house just as the men drove off. Alex was in the entrance hall, staring down at the partially uncrated object.
It was the tree window.
“Is there a note with it?” Sam asked.
“Nope.”
“Did the delivery guys say anything?”
“Only that it was going to be a bitch to install.” Alex lowered to his haunches, looking at the window. “Look at this thing. I expected something kind of flowery and Victorian. Not this.”
The window was strong and bold and delicate, layers of glass fused in natural colors and variegated textures. The tree trunk and branches, made of lead, had been incorporated into the window in a way Sam had never seen before. The moon seemed to glow as if from its own light source.
Alex stood and reached for the phone in his back pocket. “I’m going to call some of my guys to help me put the window in. Today if possible.”
“I don’t know,” Sam said.
“About what?”
“I don’t know if I want to install it.”
Alex responded with an impatient scowl. “Don’t give me that crap. This window
