The King

listed as a half-pay officer, with a note for him not to be called up, as if there were a black mark against him. He would receive no more than regular Navy pay from their purser, and his half-pay would not be disbursed or saved for him. Until he returned to England, there would be no official record of this service. That was galling, and a little disconcerting. After all, he had made a good record, and now, for the sake of secrecy, he had a big question mark about his abilities or suitability for promotion or service in his records, even if it was a sham. How easy would it be for a clerk to get befuddled, and that would stay with him for the rest of his life? I mean, damme, he thought: the bloody Navy's the only thing I ever stand a chance of being really good at!

Lewrie strolled to the quarterdeck bulwarks to look down on the bustling wharves and warehouses next to which Telesto was tied up. The stone dock teemed with seamen, carters, chandlers, stevedores and mongers of every gew-gaw, trinket, notion and edible known to man.

I'm half a civilian, Alan thought gloomily. I suppose I should act like one. He stuck his hands in his breeches pockets and leaned on the bulwark, something he'd not done since his first day of naval service so long ago (and had almost gotten caned for it, then) and slouched.

Damme, I'll have to go ashore, just to buy plain coats and a hat or two, he speculated. Most of my kit in my sea-chest will do, once we're out at sea. Why, oh why, didn't anyone take the trouble to tell me all of this before I left London? Probably didn't think I could be trusted. Probably thought I'd beg off if I knew how bare-arsed an adventure they'd dreamed up. And I would have, too, Lord Cantner and his bully- boys be damned. Trot this lunatick idea out in the comfort of a club chair and I'd have been halfway to Liverpool before 'they could even begin to think of trying to catch me!

' 'Scuse me, sir,' Cony said, coming to his side. 'I checked in with the pusser, an' 'e gimme your cabin, sir. Got yer kit stowed away ready for ya. Yer on the upper gun deck, starboard side, third cabin forrud o' the wardroom table. Tried fer larboard, sir, but h'it was no go.'

'What's the difference?'

'I heard tell from a mate o' mine in Desperate all the quality goes larboard east, starboard 'ome, on an Indiaman. The shady side, I 'spects, sir, an' the sun out there can be fierce, I've heard.'

'Well, thanks for trying, Cony. How about you?' Alan sighed, wishing he'd gotten packed and out of his lodgings before that messenger caught up with him.

'The pusser figgerd I'd make a cabin servant for wot passengers we get, sir,' Cony replied, sounding almost fiendishly cheerful. 'I'll still be yer 'ammockman and man-servant, sir. Beats turnin' out on a dark night t' 'all Hands aloft an' reef sail,' it do, sir.'

'That won't last longer than your meeting with the first mate,' Alan gloomed, perking up a little at taking Cony's expectations of an easy job down a peg or two.

'Well, won't be the first time I went t' sea anyways, is it, sir?' Cony almost cackled.

'My God, but you're in a particularly good mood!'

'Sorry, sir.' Cony sobered up. 'H'it's just… well, London was beginnin' t' get a little… boresome I guess ya could call h'it, sir. I got right used t' bein' a seaman an' all. An' if I'd stayed, well… t'was best when ya got yer letter an' I could come away with ya, Mister Lewrie, sir. I… I know yer a fair hand with the ladies an' all, sir. An' I know h'it's not my place t' say anythin' 'bout wot ya do. But I got meself in a deal o' trouble from messin' where I oughtn't. I was gonna ask ya what I should do 'bout it, you bein' a fair hand, as I said…' Cony began to blush and stammer, turning his gaze to the sanded plank deck. 'An', uh… uhmm…'

'Oh, for God's sake, Cony, how bad could it be?' Alan demanded. Will Cony was probably the last of God's own innocents, though how he managed that feat being around Lewrie for very long, was anyone's guess.

'Well, t'was that pretty little Abigail, sir, the one who done for ya when I 'ad me days off, sir? Well, uhm… some nights below-stairs, sir. Lord, sir, I…'

'Have I been a bad influence on you, Cony?' Alan smiled.

'Well, sir, when I seed all them pretty lasses ya spooned on, h'it set my 'umours t' ragin' more'n a night'r two, an'… well, me an' Abigail… I guess ya could say we sorta… indulged ourselves a time'r two, sir, on the sly.'

'I would have been even more amazed if you hadn't, Cony,' Alan told him gently, trying to find a way not to burst out laughing in the poor man's face. 'She was a lovely young girl, and you're a fine figure of a young fellow yourself. Only natural.'

'Well, sir, h'it felt natural as all get-out Until she tol' me, right a'fore we packed up an' come away t' Plymouth, sir, that we was gonna have a baby.'

'She never!' Alan gaped.

'Yessir, she did. My get, sir! I didn't know what t' do 'bout h'it, sir, so I give her what little I'd been able t' save from my prize-money an' all. Twenty pounds, sir,' Cony wailed in conclusion.

'Ah,' Alan intoned, turning away to look out toward Rame Head and the harbor mouth before he began cackling like a demented cuckoo.

It was all a lie, damn her little black heart, he giggled inside. Goddamn, I've been had! If she truly is 'ankled,' I'll lay any odds you want half London is trembling in their boots and paying up their fair share! Oh, she played me perfect! Goddamn my eyes, what a little scamp! She ought to marry Clotworthy Chute and bilk the rest of England! And poor Cony, he thought. What to tell him?

'I'm sure you did the right thing, Cony,' he told him. 'You can do a lot better should you ever decide to settle down and marry. Sweet girl and all, pretty as a pup, but…'

'I was sorta sweet on 'er, sir,' Cony objected. 'Iffen h'it weren't for the baby comin' s' soon, I mighta…'

'But awfully young and… you need someone a little closer to your own age, Cony, someone who's had the rough edges knocked off first. Somebody who'll be a real helpmate to you when you settle down. Some girl not so… flippant, I suppose. You did come away, though, didn't you.'

'Yessir, I did.' Cony mooned about, almost shuffling his feet together. 'I suppose yer right, sir. Come a toucher o' stayin', though, that I did. Did I do right, sir?'

'You've provided for her and your babe. And you can look her up when we get back to London, if you've a mind. She might be more settled, more mature and suited to your nature by then. One never knows.'

'Aye, I 'spect yer right, sir,' Cony said, brightening a little.

'And in the meantime, I'll make up what she cost you, Cony.'

'T'ain't rightly the money, sir, what was botherin' me, but I thankee kindly.'

'And remember, we're on our way to the fabulous East Indies,' Alan said, trying to cheer him. 'Nautch dancers, giris in veils so thin you can count their freckles! China, and almond- eyed darlings the Tsar of all the Russias can't have, no matter how rich he is! It's a big, wide, exciting world, Cony. Take joy of it!'

Alan spread his arms and beamed a hopeful grin at his servant, and Cony began to chuckle. Then Alan looked over the bulwarks as a coach clattered up and Burgess Chiswick climbed out and looked up at the quarterdeck and the boarding ladder to the starboard gangway.

Oh no it ain't a big world, Alan cringed. It's too damn small and getting smaller all the time! Goddamn, we're part of the same hare-brained terror I tried to talk him out of! Is it too late to break my leg or something?

'Uh, ain't that young Mister Chiswick, sir?' Cony asked.

'It is, indeed,' Alan almost moaned as Burgess espied them and waved gaily, pantomiming that he'd be aboard as soon as he paid off the coachee and got his chest up the gangplank.

'Er… wasn't you worried 'bout what 'e was gettin' 'isself into, sir?' Cony inquired with a worried note to his voice.

'That I was, Cony.'

'Godamercy, Mister Lewrie, sir!' Cony blurted in alarm. 'Ya don't think that we… 'im an' us'n… that same thing I 'eard ya goin' on about?'

'Looks devilish like it, Cony,' Alan groaned.

'Godamercy, we're fucked, ain't we, sir?' Cony whispered.

Chapter 6