it is difficult for the girls; there are not enough young men to go round.”
As if to underline the point, Kitty and Maria approached and sat down close by.
“It is a pity,” went on Mrs. Withington, “for Susan loves to dance, and I do not know where she is to find another partner.”
She looked around the room, assessing each gentleman in turn. “She has already danced with young Lindford and Captain Collins…”
“Captain Collins?” asked Elizabeth. “I did not know he had arrived.”
“Yes. In fact, here he is now with my husband.”
Coming towards them were two men. The elder, Mr. Withington, was a plain but affable looking man of about fifty years of age and next to him was a very handsome young man indeed, with a good bearing and a good- humoured countenance. Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise. He was nothing like Mr. Collins!
Mr. Withington saw his wife and walked over to her, bringing Captain Collins with him. He made the introductions and Elizabeth greeted him warmly.
Kitty, hearing the name of Captain Collins, kept her back firmly turned towards him and talked to Maria with a determined animation, but when Mr. Withington addressed her by name she was forced to turn round, her face a picture of mulish resignation. But on seeing Captain Collins, her eyebrows rose and her expression brightened so much that the transformation was comical.
“You look surprised,” said he to Kitty. “Have I done something to startle you?”
“No, not exactly. It is just… well, you are not what I was expecting, that is all.”
“I did not know that you were expecting anything, but perhaps my reputation precedes me,” he said.
“In a way it does. You see, I know your brother.”
“Indeed?”
“Yes. You are not very like him. In fact, you are not like him at all. You do not seem like the sort of man who would have a brother in the church.”
“We are four brothers. Out of so many, one of us was almost certain to be a clergyman.”
“Four of you?” asked Kitty. “I had no idea. And are you all so very different?”
“Yes, I believe we are. Your friend is the cleverest of us—”
Kitty looked startled at this, and Elizabeth was no less surprised, for it did not seem possible that Mr. Collins should be the cleverest of any family. But she concluded that Captain Collins was being kind.
“And my brother Samuel, who is in the navy, is the handsomest,” went on Captain Collins. “He has broken a dozen hearts already and he is only nineteen. Henry is the pompous one. He is already making his mark in politics and is such a windbag that he cannot fail to do well. But enough of them. Would you consent to tell me more about yourself as we dance?”
And so saying, he offered her his hand.
She accepted with alacrity and the two of them, making a handsome couple, went onto the floor.
“Well!” said Mrs. Bennet. She had seen everything from the other side of the room and she had now joined Elizabeth in her desire to talk about it. “Did I not tell you how it would be? I knew it. Another daughter married. What luck!” She looked around the room for Mr. Collins and beckoned him over. “I must congratulate you on your brother,” she said. “My girls have just been introduced to him. Such a handsome man!”
Mr. Collins looked surprised but was quick to accept the compliment and said that his brother had been called an unusual looking gentleman by no less a personage than Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
“And so he is, for such looks are not often to be met with,” said Mrs. Bennet. “He has all the advantages of a fine face and a fine person. Height, address, manners: all good. You must be very proud of him.”
“Indeed we are. I may say that, after myself, he is the most notable member of the Collins family. He has not the good fortune to be patronised by such a great lady as Lady Catherine, but he has drawn down some very estimable patronage of his own.”
“Yes, I am sure he has. Such a worthy young man will not fail to attract attention amongst influential people. He will quickly rise in life, I am sure. You must invite him to visit us at Longbourn. We would be very glad to have him with us.”
“You are too kind,” said Mr. Collins.
“Not at all. He is welcome at any time.”
Mrs. Bennet watched Kitty and the Captain whilst Mr. Collins turned his attention to Mr. Bennet, complimenting him on his fine house, his elegant daughters, and his notable son-in-law.
To put an end to the fulsome compliments, Mr. Bennet began to ask him about his brother and laughed quietly to himself as Mr. Collins continued to talk.
The dance came to an end. Captain Collins escorted Kitty back to her family but then bowed and withdrew.
“But what is this? Where is Captain Collins going?” asked Mrs. Bennet. “Why is he not staying to talk to us?”
“He is engaged to Miss Porter for this dance,” said Kitty. “But never fear, he has asked to take me into supper.”
Mrs. Bennet was in raptures.
“What did I say? I knew how it would be. Kitty, my dear, you have never looked better. You are becoming quite a beauty. You are in looks tonight. And dance! I have never seen anyone lighter on their feet. We will have another wedding this year, you mark my words. Did I not say that Captain Collins was just the man for you? And what a life you will have! All the fun of being married to an officer, and then Longbourn when your father dies. What a thing for Mary and me, being secure in our home!”
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, but Kitty was too happy to mind about her mother’s matchmaking, and even the thought of living with her mother after her father’s death did not dampen her spirits. Indeed, she said she was sure that, by then, she and her husband would have enough money to build a dower house for Mrs. Bennet.
Elizabeth was by this time so far rested that she was able to dance once more. She had not taken more than a dozen steps, however, when she gave a grimace.
“Is anything the matter?” asked Darcy.
“No, just a twinge,” she said. “But I think I had better sit down.”
He gave her his arm and they rejoined her family. Mrs. Bennet asked if she was quite well and Jane looked at her in concern, but Elizabeth reassured them. Fortunately for Elizabeth, after a few minutes’ fussing, Mrs. Bennet saw Captain Collins coming towards them, for supper had just been announced.
“Now, Kitty, stand up straight,” she said.
“Mama!” replied Kitty.
“Ah Captain Collins, there you are,” said Mrs. Bennet. “All set to claim Kitty. It is a pleasure to see you both together, never were two people more well suited. I am sure your brother must feel it as much as we do. How fortunate for us that he was able to visit you this week.”
Captain Collins looked surprised and said that he was not aware that his brother was in the neighbourhood.
“Not in the neighbourhood? Why, Captain Collins, here is your brother before you,” she said, stepping back to reveal him.
Captain Collins looked at her enquiringly, but Mrs. Bennet did not notice his perplexed expression, for she was too busy congratulating Mr. Collins on having such a delightful brother.
“But that is not my brother,” said Mr. Collins. “He sent his apologies this afternoon, business preventing him from attending this most worthy and illustrious gathering.”
“Not your brother?” asked Mrs. Bennet, staring at Mr. Collins. “Of course he is your brother. He was introduced to us by Mr. Withington and Mr. Withington would not lie about such a thing.”
Elizabeth stifled a gurgle of laughter. “Mama, Mr. Withington introduced him as Captain Collins; he said nothing about him being Mr. Collins’s brother. Collins, you know, is not an uncommon name.”
Mrs. Bennet was dumbfounded. But she quickly recovered herself.
“No, indeed, it is very common,” she said, sounding very much aggrieved. “I never met with such a common name in my life, indeed it is very vulgar. Twice now my girls have been deceived by a man named Collins.”
“Mama!” said Elizabeth.
But Mrs. Bennet was unrepentant until Captain Collins apologized most gallantly—and with laughing eyes—for
