looking at him. Knows what we're all thinking. He catches a few eyes but no one looks away. There's no one left in this station who couldn't look him straight in the eye now and tell him what they think.
Finally he looks at me and those eyes are bloody death; then he straightens up and walks from the room.
And if the man has any sense left whatsoever, he won't return.
*
'I've just been thinking about Crow,' says Taylor.
He looks tired. I'm not surprised. His wife has just left; he's been put in charge of a huge murder inquiry; instant results expected; under pressure. And besides, it's one thirty in the morning. And here's me, joined CID 'cause I thought it'd be nine to five.
'What about him?' I say.
End of the day. Looked through all of the papers that I'm going to. Morrow and I found a few things we'll have to check up on, but that'll be for the morning. Taylor spent a good three hours with the secretary, then sent her packing. She'd had the holidays off, then turned up for work as usual this morning. Healy was nowhere to be seen, no idea where he might have gone. And that was about it.
So. End of the day, last cigarette, last cup of coffee.
Then? Jesus. Charlotte left just after midnight, slipping me the address as she went. So I've got a choice. Charlotte or Peggy, and I've promised them both.
Mind on the job. Crow.
'Why did he just vanish like that?' says Taylor. 'We'd started to think about him. Possible suspect, possible link between the two. Who knows? We shouldn't lose sight of things. Saturday night we charged down there, kicking the door in. The fact that the bastard had buggered off seemed to implicate him. Now, we've got Healy stamped over everything. So, do we just forget about Crow? Mark his disappearance down as coincidence?'
'There's no such thing as coincidence.'
'Exactamundo,' he says.
'So we need a connection between Crow and Healy.'
'Aye. You didn't see anything when you looked through Healy's files did you? A mention of Crow having dealt with any of Healy's clients?'
'No, nothing. But then, Morrow checked half of them and he wouldn't have been looking.'
He looks at me. I know what he's thinking. See that mountain of paper that Morrow looked through. Fuck.
'Not tonight,' he says. That's big of him. 'Tomorrow morning. Have Morrow follow up whatever you dug up this evening. Don't need to tell anyone else what we're thinking. Might be a load of pish.' Champion.
Taylor rubs his eyes. Half one in the morning isn't the best time for clear and logical insight.
'I don't know, Sergeant. We're missing something here. Something obvious.'
'Come on,' I say, 'we all say that. All the time. You can't know it until you know it.'
Rests his elbows on the desk and yawns.
'Very deep, Hutton. Get that out of a Chinese fortune cookie?'
'Aye, I did as a matter of fact. And there's more. Always take your clothes off before you get in the shower.'
'Very funny. Piss off and we'll talk in the morning.'
He stands up. Lucky bastard is going home to an empty bed. Haven't decided where I'm going yet. Although, of course, I know exactly where I'm going.
'Any chance you spoke to Eileen Harrison today?'
I give him a quizzical look in reply.
'Don't look at me like that,' he says. 'You're always talking to women, or they're talking to you, or whatever the hell you have going on. Don't look so fucking, whatever could you mean, Chief Inspector?'
I shake my head, and start to head out.
'No,' I say over my shoulder, 'I didn't speak to Eileen Harrison.'
'Very well,' he says. 'Perhaps if she calls in sick again tomorrow, or we don't hear from her, you could go round there and see if she's all right.'
I stop, look at him.
'What? Seriously?'
'Yes. Look at my face. It's a serious face. There's enough weird shit going on around here for us not to at least make sure she's all right. Pretty fucking weird her not coming at all, particularly at a time like this.'
Now there he has a point.
I don't reply and turn and walk back out into the main office. The quiet of the middle of the night; CID at rest. Look at the watch. A little over five hours and the shite'll be flying once more.
Pick up the car keys and start tossing the mental coin; knowing that if it comes down on the side of Peggy I'll keep doing best of three 'til I get the right result.
34
Post sex cigarette; the best there is. It might be a cliche, but it's right up there with sex itself and watching old film of Partick Thistle beat Celtic 4–1. Cool, bitter, biting at the inside of your throat. Like a smoky single malt by a warm fire on a cold day. Lie back, breathe it in, stare at the ceiling. Forget everything. Savour the smoke and savour the remains of the delicious sensations still lingering in your loins and stomach. You feel the tiredness, begin to give in to it, let it sweep over you. Like waves crashing on the ocean.
'What are you thinking?'
You swallow a gallon of sea water. Just as well. I was about to nod off and drop the smoking butt end onto my chest.
'Just enjoying the moment.'
She places her hand on my chest, starts drawing circles. God, she's not about to get romantic on me? She kisses my shoulder, snuggles her head next to my arm. Bloody Jesus. You'd think… oh, crap, I don't know what to think. I've spent the two years since my last marriage sleeping with all kinds of life's detritus. Charlotte Miller is the other end of the scale in so many different ways.
'I'm glad you've been around the past few days, Sergeant. I've needed you.'
For all the bitterness and tough guy act, it still sounds good to hear it. Charlotte Miller needs Sergeant Hutton. Sort of thing you'd scrawl on your desk at school. If you were a wanker.
Quarter past four. Just had ball-breaking sex and feel relaxed for the first time in a couple of days. Had intended going round to see Peggy when I was finished, but now that I'm here, post-sex, woman glued to my arm and absolutely exhausted, I've got a feeling I won't be going anywhere until it's time for work. Big Guilt means Big Denial. Try not to think about Peggy. There's someone else's wife to sleep with. Keep waiting for the guillotine to fall. Each time is more intimate than the last, however. Deeper into the mire. Falling in love. Me with her. Wrong person, wrong time, wrong planet.
Have stopped worrying about her and Bathurst. Accepted why they slept together, although I haven't asked her about it.
A thought comes into my head as I'm drifting off; something I should ask her. And hope she's set an alarm, cause there's no way I'm waking up at seven o'clock.
Roll over on my side, away from her, and she curls her arms around me and presses against my skin, her breasts beautiful and soft against my back.
'How come you haven't got rid of Bloonsbury? The guy's a mess.' Wrong question, wrong time.
Feel it immediately. Body tensed, then relaxed. Places a slight distance between our bodies, her skin detached. I'm almost asleep. Her body relaxes into mine once more, her breasts flush against me. I'm tired, giving into it.
'We can talk about it later,' she says. Dreamy voice. Don't care. She says something else, but I'm hardly aware of it, and finally I give in to the wall of sleep.
