Beautiful Disaster

“Yeah. How am I going to get all of this to your apartment? We’re on your bike.”

Travis smiled and pulled out his cell phone. He carried my luggage to the street, and minutes later, Shepley’s black, vintage Charger pulled up.

The passenger-side window rolled down, and America poked her head out. “Hey, Chickie!”

“Hey yourself. The boilers are working again at Morgan, are you still staying with Shep?”

She winked. “Yeah, I thought I’d stay tonight. I heard you lost a bet.”

Before I could speak, Travis shut the trunk and Shep sped off, with America squealing as she fell back into the car.

We walked to his Harley, and when I wrapped my arms around him, he rested his hand on mine.

“I’m glad you were there tonight, Pidge. I’ve never had so much fun at a fight in my life.”

I perched my chin on his shoulder and smiled. “That was because you were trying to win our bet.”

He angled his neck to face me. “Damn right I was.” There was no amusement in his eyes, he was serious, and he wanted me to see it.

My eyebrows shot up. “Is that why you were in such a bad mood today? Because you knew they’d fixed the boilers, and I would be leaving tonight?”

Travis didn’t answer; he only smiled as he started his motorcycle. The drive to the apartment was uncharacteristically slow. At every stoplight, Travis would either cover my hands with his, or he would rest his hand on my knee. The lines were blurring again, and I wondered how we would spend a month together and not ruin everything. The loose ends of our friendship were tangling in a way I never imagined.

When we arrived in the apartment parking lot, Shepley’s Charger sat in its usual spot.

I stood in front of the steps. “I always hate it when they’ve been home for awhile. I feel like we’re going to interrupt them.”

“Get used to it. This is your place for the next four weeks,” Travis smiled and turned his back to me. “Get on.”

“What?” I smiled.

“C’mon, I’ll carry you up.”

I giggled and hopped onto his back, interlacing my fingers on his chest as he ran up the stairs. America opened the door before we made it to the top and smiled.

“Look at you two. If I didn’t know better….”

“Knock it off, Mare,” Shepley said from the couch.

America smiled as if she’d said too much, and then opened the door wide so we could both fit through. Travis collapsed against the recliner. I squealed when he leaned against me.

“You’re awfully cheerful this evening, Trav. What gives?” America prompted.

I leaned over to see his face. I’d never seen him so pleased.

“I just won a shit load of money, Mare. Twice as much as I thought I would. What’s not to be happy about?”

America grinned. “No, it’s something else,” she said, watching Travis’ hand as he patted my thigh. She was right; he was different. There was an air of peace around him, almost as if some kind of new contentment had settled into his soul.

“Mare,” Shepley warned.

“Fine, I’ll talk about something else. Didn’t Parker invite you to the Sig Tau party this weekend, Abby?”

Travis’ smile vanished and he turned to me, waiting for an answer.

“Er…yeah? Aren’t we all going?”

“I’ll be there,” Shepley said, distracted by the television.

“And that means I’m going,” America smiled, looking expectantly at Travis.

Travis watched me for a moment, and then nudged my leg. “Is he picking you up or something?”

“No, he just told me about the party.”

America’s mouth spread into a mischievous grin, almost bobbing in anticipation. “He said he’d see you there, though. He’s really cute.”

Travis shot an irritated glance in America’s direction and then looked to me. “Are you going?”

“I told him I would,” I shrugged. “Are you going?”

“Yeah,” he said without hesitation.

Shepley’s attention turned to Travis, then. “You said last week you weren’t.”

“I changed my mind, Shep, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled, retreating to his bedroom.

America frowned at Travis. “You know what the problem is,” she said. “Why don’t you quit driving him crazy and just get it over with.” She joined Shepley in his room, and their voices were reduced to murmuring behind the closed door.

“Well, I’m glad everyone else knows,” I said.

Travis stood up. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“Is there something going on with them?” I asked.

“No, he’s just paranoid.”

“It’s because of us,” I guessed. Travis’ eyes lit up and he nodded.

“What?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“You’re right. It’s because of us. Don’t fall asleep, okay? I wanna talk to you about something.”

He walked backward a few steps, and then disappeared behind the bathroom door. I twisted my hair around my finger, mulling over the way he emphasized the word us, and the look on his face when he’d said it. I wondered if there had ever been lines at all, and if I was the only one that considered Travis and I just friends anymore.

Shepley burst out of his room, and America ran after him. “Shep, don’t!” she pleaded.

He looked back to the bathroom door, and then to me. His voice was low, but angry. “You promised, Abby. When I told you to spare judgment, I didn’t mean for you two to get involved! I thought you were just friends!”

“We are,” I said, shaken by his surprise attack.

“No, you’re not!” he fumed.

America touched his shoulder. “Baby, I told you it will be fine.”

He pulled away from her grip. “Why are you pushing this, Mare? I told you what’s going to happen!”

She grabbed his face with both hands. “And I told you it won’t! Don’t you trust me?”

Shepley sighed, looked at her, at me, and then stomped into his room.

America fell into the recliner beside me, and puffed. “I just can’t get it into his head that whether you and Travis work out or not, it won’t affect us. But he’s been burned too many times. He doesn’t believe me.”

“What are you talking about, Mare? Travis and I aren’t together. We are just friends. You heard him earlier…he’s not interested in me that way.”

“You heard that?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And you believe it?”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll never happen. He told me he doesn’t see me like that, he’s a total commitment-phobe, I’d be hard pressed to find a girlfriend outside of you that he hasn’t slept with, and I can’t keep up with his mood swings. I can’t believe Shep thinks otherwise.”

“Because not only does he know Travis…he’s talked to Travis, Abby.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mare?” Shepley called from the bedroom.

America sighed. “You’re my best friend. I think I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. I see you two together, and the only difference between me and Shep, and you and Travis, is that we’re having sex. Other than that? No difference.”

“There is a huge, huge difference. Is Shep bringing home different girls every night? Are you going to the party tomorrow to hang out with a guy with definite dating potential? You know I can’t get involved with Travis, Mare. I don’t even know why we’re discussing it.”

America’s expression turned to disappointment. “I’m not seeing things, Abby. You have spent almost every moment with him for the last month. Admit it, you have feelings for him.”