Beautiful Disaster

I took her phone in my hand and fingered the buttons, trying to imagine what I could possibly say to him. She snatched it out of my hand, dialed, and then handed it to me. I held the phone to my ear, and took a deep breath.

“Mare?” Travis answered, his voice thick with worry.

“It’s me.”

The line was quiet for several moments before he finally spoke. “What the fuck happened to you last night? I wake up this morning, and you’re gone and you…you just leave and don’t say goodbye? Why?”

“I’m sorry. I—,”

“You’re sorry? I’ve been going crazy! You don’t answer your phone, you sneak out and, wha—why? I thought we finally had everything figured out!”

“I just needed some time to think.”

“About what?” he paused.“Did I hurt you?”

“No! It’s nothing like that! I’m really…really sorry. I’m sure America told you. I don’t do goodbyes.”

“I need to see you,” he said, his voice desperate.

I sighed. “I have a lot to do today, Trav. I have to unpack and I have piles of laundry.”

“You regret it,” he said, his voice breaking.

“It’s not…that’s not what it is. We’re friends. That’s not going to change.”

“Friends? Then what the fuck was last night?” he said, anger bleeding through his voice.

I closed my eyes tight. “I know what you want. I just can’t…do that right now.”

“So you just need some time?” he asked in a calmer voice. “You could have told me that. You didn’t have to run out on me.”

“It just seemed like the easiest way.”

“Easier for who?”

“I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what it would be like in the morning, loading Mare’s car and…I couldn’t do it, Trav,” I said.

“It’s bad enough that you aren’t going to be here anymore. You can’t just drop out of my life.”

I forced a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I don’t want anything to be weird, okay? I just need to sort some stuff out. That’s all.”

“Okay,” he said. “I can do that.”

I hung up the phone, and America glared at me. “You SLEPT with him? You bitch! You weren’t even going to tell me?”

I rolled my eyes and fell against the pillow. “This isn’t about you, Mare. This has just become one convoluted clusterfuck.”

“What’s so difficult about it? You two should be deliriously happy, not breaking doors and hiding in your room!”

“I can’t be with him,” I whispered, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.

Her hand covered mine, and she spoke softly. “Travis needs work. Trust me, I understand any and all reservations you have about him, but look how much he’s already changed for you. Think about the last two weeks, Abby. He’s not Mick.”

“I’m Mick! I get involved with Travis and everything we’ve worked for…poof!” I snapped my fingers. “Just like that!”

“Travis wouldn’t let that happen.”

“It’s not up to him, now is it?”

“You’re going to break his heart, Abby. You’re going to break his heart! The one girl he trusts enough to fall for, and you’re going to nail him to the wall!”

I turned away from her, unable to see the expression that went with the pleading tone in her voice. “I need the happy ending. That’s why we came here.”

“You don’t have to do this. It could work.”

“Until my luck runs out.”

America threw up her hands, letting them fall into her lap. “Jesus, Abby, not this shit again. We talked about this.”

My phone rang, and I looked at the display. “It’s Parker.”

She shook her head. “We’re still talking.”

“Hello?” I answered, avoiding America’s glare.

“Abs! Day one of freedom! How does it feel?” he said.

“It feels…free,” I said, unable to muster up any enthusiasm.

“Dinner tomorrow night? I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah,” I wiped my nose with my sleeve. “Tomorrow’s great.”

After I hung up the phone, America frowned. “He’s going to ask me when I get back,” she said. “He’s going to want to know what we talked about. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“Tell him that I’ll keep my promise. By this time tomorrow, he won’t miss me.”

CHAPTER TEN poker face

Two tables over, one table back. America and Shepley were barely visible from my seat, and I hunched over, watching Travis stare at the empty chair I usually occupied before sitting at the end of the lunch table. I felt ridiculous for hiding, but I wasn’t prepared to sit across from him for an entire hour. When I finished my meal, I took a deep breath and walked outside to where Travis was finishing his cigarette.

I had spent most of the night trying to form a plan to get us to where we were before. If I treated our encounter the way he regarded sex in general, I would have a better chance. The plan risked losing him altogether, but I hoped his enormous male ego would force him to play it off the same way.

“Hey,” I smiled.

He grimaced. “Hey. I thought you’d be at lunch.”

“I had to run in and out, I have to study,” I shrugged, doing my best impression of casual.

“Need some help?”

“It’s Calculus. I think I’ve got it handled.”

“I can just hang out for moral support” he smiled, digging his hand into his pocket. The solid muscles in his arm tensed with the movement, and the thought of them flexing as he thrust himself inside me replayed with vivid detail in my head.

“Er…what?” I asked, disoriented from the sudden erotic thought that had flashed in my mind.

“Are we supposed to pretend the other night never happened?”

“No, why?” I feigned confusion and he sighed, frustrated with my behavior.

“I don’t know…because I took your virginity?” He leaned toward me, saying the words in a hushed voice.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve deflowered a virgin, Trav.”

Just as I had feared, my casual demeanor made him angry. “As a matter of fact, it was.”

“C’mon…I said I didn’t want any weirdness between us.”

Travis took one last drag of his cigarette and flicked it to the ground. “Well, if I’ve learned anything in the last few days, it’s that you don’t always get what you want.”

“Hey, Abs,” Parker said, kissing my cheek.

Travis glowered at Parker with a murderous expression.

“I’ll pick you up around six?” Parker said.