made a grievous whirring noise as I back-tracked. My tires screeched to a halt straight across from where Jared sat.
Shoving my way out of the car, I stomped to the middle of the street. “Are you following me?”
“Are you all right?” he asked, concern overshadowing his flawless features.
“What are you doing here, damn it?” I yelled.
He stood up and held his arms out to me, but I shook my head. He stopped and furrowed his brow. “Nina, come here.”
“I want answers, Jared. You show up in my life, tell me you have these feelings for me. You won’t give me your number, and you all but refused mine.” I took a step toward him, and he a step toward me.
“Nina, I know you’re upset, but it’s going to be okay.” His voice was calm and soothing, almost too much so, as if he was trying to talk me down from a ledge.
“I’m standing in the middle of the street bawling my eyes out and yelling at you, Jared! Why aren’t you asking me what’s wrong? Why don’t you ever ask me questions?” Jared thought for a moment, seeming surprised at my observation. He took another step toward me with outstretched arms, begging to hold me.
“Is it feelings you have for me? Or are you just following me around because you feel sorry for me? Is it because I’m some tragic, fatherless basket case that you’ve decided to make a charity project out of?”
His eyes turned angry and his arms lowered. “You know that’s not true.”
As he took another step, his face for once didn’t try to hide emotion. His eyes ached for me to come to him; I could see that my tears caused him pain. I leaned into his arms and he wrapped them around me without hesitation.
I relaxed in his embrace for a moment, the warmth of his arms provided instant comfort.
He leaned down to press his cheek against my temple. “It’s more than just feelings, Nina. You have to know that.”
I peered up at him with damp eyes. “Then why haven’t you…?”
“What?” he asked. I shook my head at first, but he pulled me closer to him and his eyes begged me to confess my thoughts. “Tell me.”
“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”
He seemed stunned, and then his eyes settled on my lips. I watched as his expression changed from desire, to conflicted, to a decision. I didn’t know what it all meant, so I closed my eyes and leaned into him, knowing his lips were just a few inches from mine. I felt his grip tighten and he held me at bay. My eyes popped open, humiliation crashing over me in waves. Adding to my already crippling embarrassment, tears once again spilled over my cheeks.
His eyes closed tight and his face crumpled. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
The humiliation still flamed my face, but it was now obscured by my anger. I’d grown weary of his vague non-answers. He would offer a tiny bit of truth shrouded in confusing ambiguity and my patience had reached its limit.
Seeing the resentment in my eyes, Jared let out a frustrated sigh. He released me and walked across the street to an impressive black motorcycle parked behind the bench. Without looking back he turned the key, and with a push of the button the engine roared to life. The motor snarled as he revved it a few times before speeding off the sidewalk and down the street.
The weekend came and went. Beth and I attended the basketball game and Kim, Beth and I joined Ryan, Josh, Tucker, and Chad for air hockey and nachos. I refused to talk about Jared, even with Beth. I couldn’t even bring myself to explain what had happened that caused me to be so furious anytime they mentioned his name.
Ryan seemed to enjoy my change of heart. One night he called to ask me for help with his chemistry, and we found ourselves sitting on the floor of my dorm room alone.
“No…it’s….” I pressed my lips together as I rewrote the last line.
“Chad said he failed this test last year,” Ryan grumbled.
“Well, Chad didn’t have me for a tutor, now did he?” I threw my pencil at him and it bounced to the floor.
“Tutor or not, this test is gonna suck.”
“Have you lost your faith in me?”
“Have you reconsidered my offer, yet?” he grinned.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I shrugged, playing dumb.
“Yes, you do. It’s okay if you haven’t….you will eventually,” he smiled wide.
“I’m fairly certain I won’t be interested in dating for a long, long time.”
Ryan didn’t skip a beat. “I’ll wait.”
Chapter Four
The Ring
The next weeks proved to be fairly mundane. I hadn’t seen Jared or Mr. Dawson, and Ryan’s propositions had tapered off. Beth had been noticeably absent from our room. I hadn’t even been sequestered for a ballgame.
I didn’t leave campus for further theory-testing walks, and I tried not to venture off campus in general. My feelings were conflicted at any given second between being desperate to see Jared again and cringing at thoughts of any chance run-ins. I committed to pushing him from my mind, even if I had to do it a thousand times a day.
At study group, Ryan and I took our normal spots to work together on his latest academic crisis. Kim passed the time by shooting rubber bands at Josh while Beth and the new girl, Nicole, compared notes.
Josh caught one of Kim’s rubber missiles in mid-air and yawned. “So, when are we going out again?”
Kim shrugged. “I don’t know. When do you want to go?”
“I don’t think Nina’s up to it,” Beth hinted. The entire group stared at me with a mixture of pitiful and expectant expressions that I was desperate to deflect.
“Of course I’m up for it,” I said, aiming for a casual tone.
In truth, going out again with the same people to the same place made me anxious that we were just asking for a repeat, and I wasn’t ready to see Jared again. In the same moment, I worried that he wouldn’t show.
“Are you sure?” Beth asked, leaning forward in her chair.
“Why don’t we go tomorrow?” Josh asked Ryan.
“I’m there,” Ryan said, nudging me.
“On a Tuesday? How much fun can a Tuesday night be?” I groaned.
“As fun as we make it,” Ryan said.
On our way back to Andrews, I grumbled to Beth about going out on a school night. She didn’t seem fazed by the prospect, so I left it alone. When we lumbered into our room, my cell phone buzzed.
“Hi, Mom,” I yawned.
“You sound tired, Nina. Are you getting enough sleep?” she asked.
“I am. It’s just been a long day,” I said, peeling back my comforter.
“Well, I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to tell you that Thomas called me today. He wanted to apologize about not returning your call. Did you call him, dear?”
“Er…yes. I did.” I hadn’t anticipated Thomas calling my mother.
“Well? What did you call him about?”
I decided that sticking as close to the truth as possible would be the best option. “Well, I was in dad’s office a few weeks ago and came across some unsigned papers. I didn’t want to worry you with it, so I called Mr. Rosen.”
“You were in Dad’s office? Why?”
“I guess I just miss him.”
“Oh,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“It’s okay, Mom. It was something I needed to do on my own.”
“You don’t worry about those papers, Dear. They’re nothing you need to concern yourself with. Thomas has
