“If he does, it’s not enough to trust me with the truth.” I winced at my own words. I didn’t realize how hurtful it would be to say them out loud.
“He’s still not talking, huh?”
“I told him to leave me alone tonight.” Beth began to speak but I continued, “I didn’t mean it. Well, I meant it, but it’s not what I want. All he has to do is be honest with me, and he just…refuses.”
“Why do you have to understand it? Can’t you just be with him and forget about the rest?”
“Be with him how? I don’t even know where he lives. I don’t know his phone number, if he’s right or left- handed, or his birthday…I don’t know anything about him,” I said, disgusted with my predicament.
“I’ve seen you two together. It will all work out,” she smiled.
I rolled my eyes at her simple solution. Beth’s logic made my feelings more complicated than necessary, and I was glad when she seemed to give up. I was devastated about Jack, furious with Cynthia and found Jared guilty on principle. Other than that I didn’t want to think about it. Anger was easier to control than feeling betrayed.
Thursday morning I followed Beth to the table reserved for the coffee pots and various sugars and other creamers. Per her usual, Kim appeared behind us and complained about our additives. I gripped my travel mug with both hands, keeping in line with my friends.
Beth stopped in her tracks, initiating a pile-up. I slammed into Kim, and the coffee I held exploded from the slit in the lid, splattering in a vertical line from collar to hem of my coat.
“Beth!” Kim and I both yelped in unison.
I looked down at my coat and used my mittens to brush off the dripping, mocha-colored liquid. Someone abruptly grabbed my arm and yanked me forward. I didn’t have time to see which of my girlfriends it was, because Jared’s incredible blue-grey eyes caught my attention the second I looked up.
I took quicker steps than I should have to be within conversation distance, but once I stood within a few feet of him, I couldn’t speak.
“Running late, aren’t you?” Jared said, seeming pleased at my reaction.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, baffled.
He laughed and looked down. I saw from my peripheral that Beth and Kim were just as awestruck as I was. I couldn’t imagine what had possessed him to show up here, and I was even more clueless at his carefree manner; as if our conversation from the night before had never taken place.
“Will you have a seat?”
I sat down immediately, in an almost comical fashion. He usually didn’t make an appearance unless he had something important he needed to say, or if there was trouble. The scenarios were flashing through my mind. I stared at him in silence, waiting for the answer.
He crossed his arms on the table and leaned toward me. “I know you said to leave you alone, but I did a lot of thinking last night and I had to see you. We need to talk.”
My mouth opened a bit in shock, and I shut it just as I looked up at Kim and Beth. Their mouths were in a similar state.
“We’ll, er…meet you in class, Nigh,” Kim said, raising her eyebrows.
I grimaced as they abandoned me. My shoulders felt so tense they seemed to be hovering around my ears. I took a deep breath, and forced them down to their proper position.
Jared appeared nervous and he swallowed. “Did I cross a line?”
“I want answers, Jared.”
The corners of his mouth turned up as he slid a card over to my side of the table.
I pinched the thin paper between my fingers and examined it. It was a generically ivory business card with his name and company name in chocolate brown writing. My heart kicked into high gear upon reading the next line, which contained his phone number.
“You’re giving me your number?”
“I am.” He waited for a moment with an expectant stare, and then I understood what it was that he wanted.
“Oh!” I said, scrambling to search my backpack for something to write on. I scribbled my name and number on a piece of paper and slid it to him, mimicking his smooth, single movement.
Jared grinned and poked the paper into his inside jacket pocket.
“What if that’s not my number?” I asked. “What if it’s the number to an anger management clinic for your sister?”
Jared shook his head, laughing once. “Then I’d give it to her. But I hope it’s yours. I need it to ask you to dinner properly.”
I could hear my heart pounding inside my chest, and when I thought he might be able to hear it, I felt my cheeks flush.
“I told you I needed answers, first,” I said, trying to seem calmer than I felt.
“I told you we were going to talk, didn’t I?” His eyes were bright with amusement, even seeming a lighter shade of blue. “I’m going to call you this afternoon. Will that be all right?”
“Why don’t you just ask me, now?” I said, incinerating any chance of seeming indifferent.
“Is that what you want?” he asked, raising his brow.
I nodded and a broad smile lit up his face. “Would you have dinner with me tomorrow?”
“I’d love to. Thank you.”
“I don’t want to make you late.” Even as he said the words, he seemed in no hurry to say goodbye.
We both stood, and Jared held the door open for me as we walked into the morning air. It felt surreal to be walking next to him on campus. He seemed less like a figment of my imagination surrounded by the scenery of my everyday life.
“I’ll pick you up around six thirty?” he asked, lightly grazing my finger tips with his. Electricity immediately shot up my arm, and my heart hammered against my ribs.
“Sounds perfect.” I couldn’t have chosen words more true.
Kim and Beth were waiting for me just inside the building, and I tried to keep from jumping up and down as I approached.
“What happened?” Beth said, grabbing my arm.
“We’re going out tomorrow night. Six-thirty,” I beamed.
“Yay!” Beth said, clapping.
Kim and I continued upstairs to our class. She wasn’t nearly as animated as Beth.
“Ryan isn’t going to be happy,” she said.
I angled my neck to emphasize my irritation. “I’m not with Ryan, Kim. He doesn’t get to be unhappy about it.”
“I know…I just think its poor timing on your part for you to go on a date with Jared when Ryan’s still in the hospital for trying to save your life.”
“Are you saying it’s wrong for me to go out with Jared because I’m obligated to Ryan now, since he was hurt defending me? Is that what you’re getting at?” I countered, pausing in front of our classroom.
“No. I am definitely not saying that. That would be very Casablanca of me.”
Kim smiled when I rolled my eyes at her, and we walked to our seats together.
Chapter Six
Truth(s)
Patience is a virtue I do not possess. Amusement park lines, doctor’s appointments, college acceptance letters — all enough to drive me insane. Waiting for my date with Jared felt very much like torture. Each class failed miserably at holding my interest, and by mid-morning I had given up on taking notes. The final class of the day was insufferable. I bounced my knee up and down, tapped my pencil on the desk, shifted in my chair, and sighed at least a dozen times.
