“I’m probably going to get some laundry together, take it over to Jared’s,” I said without thinking.
“You’re staying over there again? I thought you said you weren’t moving in,” he said, this time without his usual attitude.
“I’m not,” I snapped, waiting for him to come back with something spiteful.
Ryan sighed and took my hand. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore, Nigh. I’ve said everything I needed to say on the subject.”
“I don’t want us to fight, either. I want us to be able to hang out and be friends like we used to. I miss you,” I said, suddenly hopeful that we could get beyond all of the infatuation nonsense.
“I miss you, too. I’ll quit being a jerk,” he said, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. “When you hugged me tonight, I realized how ridiculous I’ve been. I don’t want to lose you, Nina. It doesn’t matter if you’re with him, or me, or anyone else. What matters is that we’re friends, and that you can count on me being here when you need me.”
I pulled in a shallow breath through my nose, trying to keep my eyes from glossing over with tears. He didn’t know that we would have to lose each other if he wanted to be happy. I just smiled and nodded my head, and Ryan hugged me once more.
“Truce?”
“Truce,” I smiled.
He walked to his dormitory and I headed to Andrews, feeling morose. I pulled out my cell phone and called Jared, who picked up on the first ring.
“Hey,” he answered, sounding a bit sad himself.
“I’m just going to grab a few things from my room and then I’ll be ready.”
As I rounded the corner, Jared came into view, his cell phone to his ear. He pulled up one corner of his mouth into a contrived half-smile. I put my cell phone away and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. He could sense my feelings for Ryan, and I was ashamed for feeling the way I did. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
An awkward silence festered in the Escalade until we pulled up to the curb in front of his apartment.
“Nina…,”
“It’s okay,” I interrupted him. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but I didn’t want to waste time discussing my feelings for Ryan. Jared felt he was getting in the way of fate, but I knew what I wanted. There would be no compromise.
We walked hand in hand to the loft, and I could feel the worry radiating from him. I hung my coat on the rack and immediately went to the kitchen, praying there were dishes to be done or to put away; anything to keep me busy.
Jared went to his extravagant stereo system and tinkered with the multitude of buttons. While I put away dishes in various cabinets, a familiar song permeated the room. I felt Jared’s arms surround me, the heat of his skin sinking into my back. His cheek touched mine as he pulled me into his chest, and I closed my eyes when he whispered into my ear.
“Do you recognize this song?”
I simply nodded, listening to the music. It was the song we danced to at the pub. I remembered that moment as if it were just hours before, and yet it felt like a lifetime ago.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s called ‘Little Heaven’.” His lips peppered my neck with soft, tiny kisses, working his way up to my ear.
I smiled. “That’s appropriate.”
Jared turned me slowly to face him and I watched the clouds roll in, darkening his eyes. His jaw tensed as he scanned my face.
“I could step aside, Nina. I could step aside and let you be with who you’re supposed to be with. If I was any less selfish…I would. But even after all of my stupid mistakes, I still think I can make you happy.
“If it’s what you want, I’ll step aside,” he shook his head, “but if it’s not…I’ll fight fate. I’ll fight Heaven, and Hell, and everything in between to keep you.”
I stood there, stunned. Anything I said would pale in comparison. The storms in his eyes raged stronger than I’d ever seen them.
“Jared…,” I struggled with what I wanted to say. Jared swallowed, sensing the turmoil within me. I shook my head and he let go of my waist, bracing himself for my next words. But there would be none.
I inched up on the balls of my feet and paused. My eyes moved from his eyes to his mouth. Jared stood motionless, waiting for judgment.
I pressed my lips to his, and he cautiously kissed me back. My hands held each side of his face, and I worked my lips against his, sliding my fingers through the back of his hair. Jared’s hands returned to my waist as the kiss intensified. My lips parted and he pulled me to him without hesitation. His doubt melted away, he knew my decision.
Against his body I let out an involuntary moan, causing a chain reaction. Almost simultaneously, I lifted Jared’s shirt as he finished the task by yanking it over his head, my knee inched up and Jared firmly grabbed it, pulling it higher up his side, and then he eagerly lifted me on top of the counter.
I wrapped my legs around him, digging my fingers into the bare flesh of his back to draw him closer. His hands gripped my thighs, impatiently pulling me to the edge of the counter. Jared’s lips were urgent, but in a new way. His wasn’t the kiss that he used to tell me he loved me, or to tell me goodbye. He was giving in.
Jared lifted my sweater over my head and I let out a satisfied sigh when he pressed his bare chest against mine. I pressed my lips harder against his; we still weren’t close enough. My breath grew ragged and uneven as he impatiently pulled me from the counter and walked across the room — my legs still wrapped around him — to climb the stairs. As he held me, he never took his lips from mine.
With one hand on my back, and the other on the mattress, he gently lowered me to his bed. His lips caressed every inch of my neck, and my body shivered in anticipation. I slid my hand down the perfect ripples of his chest and stomach, and pulled his belt free of the loops, fumbling with the buckle. A low moan emanated from his lips when I finally unfastened it and his mouth readily returned to mine.
He pulled away with a quick jerk, his eyes unfocused.
“What?” I asked, pushing myself up on my elbows.
His jaw tensed and he closed his eyes in frustration. “Claire.”
In the next moment, Claire unlocked the door and opened it without knocking. Jared stood at the top of the stairs and glared down at his sister.
“Busy?” Claire asked.
I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh, thinking of the view from Claire’s perspective. It wouldn’t take much for her to imagine what we’d been up to.
“I’m going to take that key back if you don’t start calling ahead of time,” Jared growled.
“You say that as if I can’t pick your lock in three seconds.”
“I’m serious, Claire,” Jared said so quietly that I barely heard him.
Well, I’m sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry at all. “Bex left for training an hour ago and mom is all weepy. Ryan is in bed asleep and lucky me, my Taleh doesn’t have half the police force and various criminals after him.”
Jared turned to face me and his expression morphed from anger to an apologetic expression.
“She’s here for the night,” he explained, going to his closet and pulling a t-shirt off the hanger. He seemed to have thought better of it, putting the shirt back and walking across the room to search through my suitcase for a pair of pajamas.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself if you put one of my t-shirts on,” he said quietly, handing me the pajamas. I smiled at him, amused.
Claire groaned in disgust downstairs. “Gross.”
Clothes shot up and over the railing, landing at Jared’s feet. It was the shirts we had left behind on the kitchen floor. The refrigerator door opened, and the sounds of Claire rummaging for food made Jared roll his eyes.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
