softly against mine.
He intended the kiss goodbye to be quick, but his lips lingered on mine. I ran my hands over the perfection of his chest and stomach, and then made my way to the bottom of his shirt, reaching underneath the fabric to touch his soft, feverish skin.
“You could stay,” I whispered, smiling against his mouth.
“I want to,” he said, his voice strained.
“Just for a little while? I won't keep you long,” I began to raise his shirt, but he gently restrained me by the wrists.
“Bex is downstairs.”
“Crap,” I said with a grimace. My hands fell to my sides, and I blew my bangs from my face in a huff.
Jared left me alone, and I ambled to the bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I was surprised the yearning for his warm body beside me, or thoughts of Ryan, or Jack, or the upcoming day of tedious bombardment of syllabi and introductory never crossed my mind. Heaviness came upon me, and I gladly succumbed.
“Nina!” Beth shouted from the end of the hall. She rushed to catch up, and then threw her arms around my neck. “Can you believe we’re back already?” She looked around, scanning faces of passing students.
“No,” I said, grinning at her endearing over-enthusiasm for everything.
I didn’t bother bringing my laptop; every class would be the same. Beth filled me in on the last few details she’d taken care of at Titan, and we discussed the monstrosity that was Sasha and the fact that she would be staying on.
“How far does she think she’ll go in that company, now that she’s made an enemy of you?” she asked, rolling her eyes.
“You make the mistake of believing she thinks. She did take on the Christmas party. Makes me wonder what she has up her sleeve.”
“Hopefully breath spray,” Beth said, covering her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said that.” Beth giggled, and I shook my head.
My attention diverted to a group of boys that walked through the door. Josh led the group. As Ryan’s best friend, he wasn’t a fan of mine, and made it quite clear that he’d rather not be around me. Chad admitted that Josh accused me of being the reason Ryan left. Beth came to my defense, of course, but that didn’t make him wrong.
Once Josh caught a glimpse of me, his eyes became unfocused. He looked right through me before pretending to be deeply engrossed in whatever his friends were saying.
Beth glared at him as he found his seat. “He really needs to get over himself.”
“He’s just being the same kind of friend to Ryan that you are to me,” I mumbled, fiddling with my pen.
“Guess I can’t fault him for that.”
I found myself fighting the urge to tell her that Ryan was not only back, but just a few minutes away. Not being able to see him when he was so close was bad enough; even though I had thought a several different scenarios where I could happen across that information, I couldn't tell Beth until Claire gave me the green- light.
“Good morning,” the professor said, passing out the intro packet for the class.
I sighed when Beth handed me a stack of papers, and I took my own, passing on the rest. I didn't bother thumbing through the pages like the other students, but settled into my seat, making a valid effort to pay attention. The mundane pieces of my life used to be what I was so desperate to hold on to. In the last month, it was all I could do to make an active effort to be a participant. College seemed trivial compared to the other part of my life.
After classes, I smiled at the sight of Jared’s Escalade waiting in its usual spot. He had warned me that morning that I wouldn’t see him at lunch; he said to give me time to catch up with the girls. Something about ‘holding on to a shred of normal’…I was too busy being offended to hear.
He quickly opened my door for me, and I wrapped my arms around his middle.
“Well, hello,” he said, amused at my eager affection.
“Oh, like you didn’t miss me, too,” I said, smiling up at him.
He raised one eyebrow. “Do you even have to ask?” He watched me settle into my seat, and then sighed. “I thought I should tell you. Claire called. Ryan should be released soon.”
“Can I see him, yet?” I said, a bit more enthusiastic than was appropriate.
Jared tried to hide his disappointment at my words. “He hasn’t told anyone he’s here. How would you explain your visit?”
The tightness around his eyes gave him away. He was still worried. Now that Ryan had been wounded, and was home after such a long time away, I imagined his concern was at a new level.
“Ryan and I are different people, now. Everything has changed,” I said, touching Jared’s cheek with my fingertips.
“As long as Ryan is in love with you, I will always have reason to worry.”
I leaned in to to kiss him. “How can I convince you?”
Jared pulled away from me, shifting uncomfortably.
“What is it?” I said, frowning.
“Don’t get mad…,” he began.
I crossed my arms. “A disclaimer? This should be good.”
He took a deep breath. “Until we find the book, and figure out a way to keep you one-hundred percent safe, I think the intimacy should be kept to a minimum.”
“Oh, for the love of God, not this again,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“It happens all the time, Nina. We can’t risk it,” he said, covering my hand with his.
I smirked. “You can’t use your Abra Cadabra to figure it out?” I leaned in to kiss his neck. “Haven’t you heard of the rhythm method? We’ll put our own spin on it.”
“I would consider myself an intelligent person, but no, can’t say I’ve heard of it.”
“You just figure out when I’m ovulating, and we abstain for those few days. Voila! Birth control. We have the Hybrid edge.”
Jared’s nose wrinkled in disdain. “That doesn’t seem like a solution to me.” He leaned away from my kisses, and I crossed my arms in a pout.
“It’s better than your proposal,” I frowned. “Are you saying you can’t do it?”
“What makes you think I can?”
My eyes narrowed. “Eli said once we were intimate, your senses would change. You’ve never once mentioned how, or even if they have.”
“That discussion is better left alone,” he said, maneuvering out of my embrace. He faced forward, clearly unwilling to elaborate.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” I said, lifting my chin in defiance.
Jared quickly commandeered the drivers seat, shoved the gear shift into drive, and pulled into the street. “Nina, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but I will: I love you more than anything on this earth; more than anything in the universe. I love you more than life, more than my family, and I love you more than I love being with you in that way. Your safety is, and will always be my first priority. This isn’t the kind of risk I took sitting beside you on that bench the night we met, or telling you what I am. Making a mistake concerning an accidental pregnancy will mean an all out war, because that is exactly what will have to happen to keep you alive.”
The smile or wink I was hoping for never came. He had always been careful to protect me from the truth without telling a lie, but the seriousness of the situation warranted a bluntness Jared usually avoided.
It took a long time for me to reply. My initial reaction was to complain, but Eli's words echoed in my mind. He had told me it was time to break away from being the victim. He was very clear that my time to feel sorry for myself was over.
That gave me an idea.
I attempted a small smile. “I understand you know better than me what will happen. You know exactly what consequences to expect when a choice is made — especially if it’s the wrong one. I’m human, Jared. But that doesn’t make me frail. You have to give me more credit than that. It’s time you teach me some of what you
