and Jack wouldn’t have taken it in the first place!”
“It was worth a try, because our next option was the last resort.”
“What are you talking about?” Jared said.
I looked at the crowd of people around me, feeling the negative, hostile energy in the air. It was in that moment that I recognized we had finally come to the last leg of the journey. Getting the book back into our hands had always been the only choice, which was why Gabe and Jack had come to me with the answers at night.
“I have to distract Shax long enough for you to get the book,” I said softly.
Jared turned to me, his eyebrows squeezed tightly together. “Are you serious?”
“No, Jared, she’s trying to be funny. Of course she’s serious,” Kim said.
“Bad idea,” Ryan said.
I reached out to to him, touching his cheek with my fingertips. “It’s the only way you’re going to get the book.
Jared glanced at Claire, and then back to me. “We’ve been trying to get the book to save you. It doesn’t make sense to put you in danger in order to get our hands on it.”
“This is stupid, let’s go,” Claire said.
Kim held up her hands. “Wait. Just wait. We all know she doesn’t have much time left.”
Kim saying aloud what everyone else knew — and had hoped to keep from me — felt like a bittersweet release, but the siblings' expressions were ashamed.
Jared’s eyes hit the floor.
“Did I miss something here?” Ryan said, shifting his weight. For the first time since we'd arrived, he seemed uneasy.
Kim’s eyes met mine. “Both sides are talking. You know too much, Shax wants revenge, and you pose a threat to Hell just by being alive. We could pluck out your uterus today and they would still end your life to prevent a miracle. You are going to die, anyway, Nina. It’s time we resort to desperate measures.”
“Christ Almighty,” Charles whispered.
The air was absent of sound. Everyone’s eyes were on me, but I couldn’t reply. I could barely breathe.
“I’m not going to let that happen, Nina,” Jared said. “We can figure out another way.”
“Is it true?” I said, looking up at him.
His eyes fell away from mine, and I knew the answer.
“Why is this happening?” I cried, pulling away from his grip.
“Nina,” Claire said as I passed.
I ran outside into the rain. Since the day Jack died, my life had spun so far out of control it was hard to remember what my life was like when I was just like any other girl. It wasn’t fair. Eli had instructed me to be strong, and not to mourn the normal life I once had, but I didn’t want to die — especially for a choice I didn't make.
Jared was immediately behind me, encompassing me in his warm arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice pained. “Let me find another way.”
“No,” I said, wiping my nose. “Let’s just get it over with.”
A few moments later, the rest of the group joined us. They all waited patiently for my answer.
Charles fidgeted. “I wish there was some way we could help you.”
Kim hooked her arm with her father’s. “I'm helping them,” she said, her eyes strangely soft and sad. “I won't leave her side until it's finished.”
Charles nodded, squeezing his daughter to his side.
“Okay,” I said, shaking off the fear. “How are we going to do this?”
“This is crazy!” Ryan said. “Tell her, Jared! There’s no way we’re using her for demon bait!”
Jared cringed, but he didn’t speak.
Claire grabbed my hand. “We choose our own fate, right Nina?” she said, managing an encouraging smile.
“Yes,” I said. “If it’s going to happen, I want it to be on my terms.”
“You’re all insane!” Ryan said, horrified. “I feel like I’m watching you all sentence her to death!”
Kim opened the door to the Sentra. “Now all we need is a plan,” she said.
Jared tugged on my hand. “Ride with me.”
I squeezed his fingers in mine, knowing he faced the same fate as I. The ride home was quiet; no radio, no talking, just the noise of the road under the tires, and the rain pounding against the windshield.
The window wipers danced back and forth, clearing the rain drops long enough to let the next droplets splash into their place. Headlights from oncoming cars whizzed by, but they were driving slow because of the weather. It was Jared that was disregarding the speed limit by at least thirty miles per hour.
The decision to use myself as a distraction was mine, but the plan was up to Jared. He would be forced to map out our every move, hoping that it was perfect enough to spare our lives.
“We can do this,” Jared finally said, lifting my hand to his lips. “It’s going to work, and we’ll have the book, and then we can save you.”
“I know,” I said with a small smile. “I trust you.”
“Sweet potato fries,” he said, his cloudy eyes glossing over.
“Sweet potato fries,” I smiled back.
Chapter Seventeen
The Roof
Jared paced, brooded, and once in a while, when his thoughts were particularly tormented, he winced. The color had long left his face as he played back the different scenarios in his mind. Back and forth he paced, so many times that I watched the floor, wondering when he would wear a trail. His inner turmoil could have set the room on fire. It was unbearable to watch, but I couldn't leave him; not when he was planning my death.
Claire sat next to me, holding my hand, suffering Jared's torture as I did. Jared had the most to lose, so the plan was his alone. Each decision, from the moment we left the house until the book was safe within its walls, fell on Jared's shoulders. Watching that responsibility slowly tear him apart was agonizing.
I did not envy his position. Just he thought of doing the same made me feel sick to my stomach.
Jared stopped mid-step. “Ryan?”
“Yeah, man?” Ryan said, standing. He had never been a fan of Jared, but we all shared a common thread. Whether we liked it or not, if one of us was hurt, we would all fall. A loss would affect all of us differently, but it would change our lives in the same horrific way.
“Come with me,” Jared said, leaving the room.
Ryan glanced at Claire, and then followed Jared into the hallway. Claire's grip on my hand tightened.
“You can hear them,” I said.
She looked down at our hands, and then closed her eyes. “Don't ask me to tell you, Nina. Let Jared do this his way.”
“Okay,” I nodded, trusting her judgment.
Ryan returned with a solemn expression. Uncomfortable at best, afraid was a more honest description. He took a few steps toward Claire and I, and then held out his hand.
“Feel like going to the pub?” he asked me.
My eyes veered to Claire, and my head turned slightly unintentionally. “Um…I guess,” I said, looking back to Ryan.
“Good. Give her something shiny, Claire,” he said, pulling me to stand.
Claire reached behind her and held out her pistol. “Take it,” she shrugged, trying too hard to seem indifferent. “I have seven more at home.”
My first instinct was to ask a dozen questions, but something told me time was an issue. Jared wanted this to be over.
I took a deep breath. “On the bright side, if I die, I don't have to worry that I didn't study for the test I have
