Framed by the columns of the Councilhouse facade, the sparrow and lizard embraced, kissed, and tore off their masks and blindfolds. Everyone cheered as the masks went flying into the crowd; Sarit would have explained that to me, but she wasn’t here.
Meuric stepped up to the microphone again and began another speech. Ugh. Meuric. No thanks.
I turned back to the shrike, but the beak of his mask grazed up my neck and warm lips brushed my ear. Thrills coursed through me, but I didn’t move until he started away. I caught his hand. “Wait.”
He’d felt right. I knew who I needed him to be, even if the way we’d danced was not how— That kind of passion he reserved for music. Not me.
A cold breeze made me shiver as I tightened my grip on his. Stepped closer. Searched his eyes.
His lips tilted up at one corner, like amusement. I’d known, but still, the familiar expression stunned me so much I almost didn’t act.
I kissed him.
Rather, I pressed my mouth against his and hoped he wouldn’t run. It would probably kill me.
Three long seconds and he only gasped and tightened his hands on my back. Then, with a soft moan, he opened his mouth and kissed me. It wasn’t an easy, sweet kiss like I’d imagined my first would be, but frustrated and hungry. That was good, better than easy and sweet, because after everything, I was frustrated and hungry for him, too.
His beak scraped my cheek, but I ignored it while the tip of his tongue danced over my lips. Everything he did was magic, but when he deepened the kiss and the moaning came from me, I held my palms over his mask and nudged until it slipped off and dangled around my wrist. I needed Sam, not the shrike.
He jerked back, surprise and embarrassment flickering across his face. I licked my lips and pretended like my cheeks weren’t hot, my insides weren’t melting, and I didn’t want everything his kiss had promised. “Hi.” Hand shaking, I held out his mask.
He didn’t take it. “You knew.”
“I’ll always know.” My entire body was still on fire from his touch, from his legs brushing mine, from his mouth. I wanted him to kiss me again.
Meuric’s speech must have stopped. Around us, others were removing their masks, greeting one another. They didn’t pay attention to us.
“You knew the whole time,” Sam said. “While we were dancing?”
“Yes.” As soon as he’d touched me. The way he fit against me, and the way his mouth had hesitated over my neck. It was a very Sam thing to do, hesitating. “Didn’t you know me, too?” There was an unsettling thought. What if he’d hoped I was someone else?
He took my hands like he feared I’d fly away. “Of course.”
“Oh, good.” That might have sounded desperate. “I mean, I wouldn’t have danced with you like that if I didn’t know who you were.”
“You danced with a lot of people.”
“Not like that.” I forced myself to keep his gaze. All the places he’d touched me, I could still feel him. Maybe it hadn’t meant much to him, but it had been important to me. He needed to understand. “Why were you trying to run away?”
“I wanted—” His cheeks were dark as he shook his head. “I’m sorry about today. I want to tell you everything, but mostly”—he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear—“mostly I want to tell you I lied to Stef.”
And I wanted him to kiss me again. Less talking. More kissing.
“She knew, I think. We’re not very good at lying to each other after so long.” He inhaled sharply. “Ana. I want you to know I’d choose you. If it were up to anyone, if what I wanted counted for anything, I’d have chosen you.”
I felt like I had the night he’d first played for me, like I wanted to drop to the ground because my legs weren’t strong enough to hold me. Instead, I used his shoulders for balance and stood on the tips of my toes to whisper by his ear. “Let’s go home, Sam. No more thinking. These wings are heavy.”
He kissed my neck and murmured something that sounded like assent.
Chapter 22
Wings
AS MUCH AS I wanted to go straight back to Sam’s house, the ceremony wasn’t quite over. Several of Tera and Ash’s friends made speeches, going on about how happy they were to see another successful rededication. Many people had brought gifts, which required oohing over, and photos, and thanks.
The crowd pressed closer so everyone could look, and it was obvious with the way people cheered: The ceremony was important to them. Even if few people actually believed in matching souls, it was hard to deny that Ash and Tera fit together. They practically glowed when they looked at each other. After more than three thousand years. Incredible.
We stood another hour, and then the
Sam clutched my hand, as if I might fly off, and at last we had a turn hugging Tera and Ash, congratulating them.
Mission successful, we wove through the lingering revelers in the field, who were chatting and laughing, comparing costumes. To my relief, we didn’t stop to speak to anyone. We barely spoke to each other. I couldn’t fathom why he didn’t have anything to say, but I’d just experienced my first kiss, not to mention a billion other things I’d be dreaming about tonight. I was a little stunned, and fire burned inside my chest, inside my stomach, and lower.
We didn’t take the long way back, the way I knew, but the shorter way that involved a dozen smaller streets. I wished we could fly back.
“Ana,” he said, once we were alone in the moonlit road.
Nighttime hid anything farther than an arm’s length away. We might have been the only people in the entire city. Just us, the dark, and cold. Air prickled across my arms and face, making me shiver. “Sam.” His name became mist.
Our masks dangled from his fingers, swaying with his steps. Darkness obscured the bright colors of my butterfly, which I’d spent so long cutting and painting. “I shouldn’t have danced with you like that. Or kissed you.”
My heart stuttered. “Yes, you should have.”
“Not in front of everyone.” His voice sounded like icicles crunching underfoot. “I lost control.”
He’d seemed plenty controlled to me. “You acted on passion.” I’d assumed. I was less certain now, what with the way he was insisting it shouldn’t have happened. But he’d
“What do you think everyone will assume?”
“I don’t care.” I bit my lip and followed him around a corner. The cold ached worse now. Why couldn’t he need me as much as I needed him? “Okay, I do care a little what they think, but mostly I care that you meant it.”
“It?”
“Dancing. The way you kissed me.” I didn’t want to have to ask or clarify. I wanted him to take me in his arms and kiss me until I couldn’t breathe. Now I simply couldn’t breathe for other, far less pleasant reasons. “Did you mean it?”
He stopped walking and turned on me. “Of course! Why would you think otherwise?”
If he didn’t remember when
