just feel a light breeze over you and you’ll know she’s been there.’
‘What about Daddy?’
‘Daddy will kiss you too, on the other side of your forehead.’
‘Will you be like our mummy for us?’
“Oh, Katinka, dear child, can you imagine such a conversation? I had to take them to the Lavrenti Beria Orphanage outside town. A hellish place. Even visiting was a bad experience. But there they got the stamps on their papers assigning them to the families who would adopt them. Satinov had arranged it meticulously so they weren’t registered as children of Enemies of the People, just ordinary orphans. How he did it all I don’t know. I dreaded parting with them. I loved them both, Snowy and Carlo. Dear child, I can still smell their skin now, still look into their eyes, still hear their voices—I had to leave them and, worst of all, I had to part brother and sister. They would never see each other again. It was one blow after another!”
Tears ran down her lined cheeks. Katinka was so moved that she too burst into tears and, without a word, she sat on the bed and they held each other. Finally Lala drank a little wine, ate some
“Are you strong enough to go on?” Katinka asked.
“I am. Are you?” said the old lady, wiping her eyes. “I’m not bad for my age, am I?”
“Who were the families who took them? Can you remember?”
“I never knew the names of the families. Satinov made sure of that. Only he knew. But I remember the day I met them both as if it were yesterday. Oh, it was agony! Carlo was playing with trains in one room at the orphanage. Snowy was creating a dinner party of pillows and cushions. And then the families came. I suppose they were good people but they weren’t like Sashenka or me—not cozy. The Jewish couple—they didn’t say but they were from Odessa or Nikolaev, somewhere on the Black Sea—were kind enough, I think, but quite unsuited to looking after children—he was already middle-aged with wild fuzzy hair, some kind of intellectual, and she was a bluestocking. I wanted to tell them that Snowy’s mother was Jewish too so they were her sort in a way. I did explain about Snowy’s favorite toys and games, and in their stiff way they started to play along with her. That comforted me later. I left Snowy with them, hoping they would get to know one another. But they didn’t. Snowy kept running back to me. ‘Where’s Lala?’ she’d scream. ‘Lala, you won’t leave us, will you, Lala? Where’s Carlo, I want to stay with Carlo! Carlo!’”
“When they took her away, Snowy howled. ‘Lala, you promised, Lala, help me, Lala!’ She wanted me, she wanted her brother. Finally, the nurses and guards had to force her into their car. She was kicking and crying, ‘Lala, you promised!’ At last, her new parents got into the car and drove off into the distance. And I sank onto the floor and howled too, like an animal, in front of everyone in that orphanage…”
Katinka felt exhausted, and yet, in spite of the tragedy, excited too. “That couple from Odessa must have been the Liberharts,” she said. “Roza
“The peasants?” asked Katinka, taking notes.
“The couple who took Carlo. The moment Snowy was gone, he started crying: ‘Where’s Snowy? I want to cuddle Snowy! Lala, you won’t leave me, will you, Lala?’ I barely survived that day. He struggled too as they took him. I can still hear his voice right now…In some ways it was easier for him as he was only three. I prayed he wouldn’t even remember Sashenka and Vanya, and perhaps he didn’t. They were going to rename him. They say three is the borderline between what you remember and what you forget.”
Katinka took Lala’s hands in hers again. “Lala, I’ve got wonderful news for you.”
“What? Is it Sashenka?” She peered at the shadows by the door. “Is Sashenka here? I knew she’d come.”
“No, Lala. We don’t know where Sashenka is.”
“I dream of her so often, you know. I’m sure she’s alive because we all thought Samuil was dead and
“I’m going to do my best, but I have something else to tell you. I think I’ve found your Snowy. The family who adopted her were called Liberhart and they renamed Snowy Roza. I’m going to phone her tonight and bring her to you. Then you can tell her these things yourself.”
Lala looked at Katinka and turned her face away, a hand over her eyes. “I knew I hadn’t waited in vain. That Satinov’s an angel, an angel,” she whispered. Then, sitting up straight, she faced Katinka. “I want to meet Snowy. But don’t leave it too long. I’m not immortal.”
When Katinka stood up, she was dizzy. It seemed as if she had experienced the tragic partings herself. “I must go back to my hotel and phone Roza.”
But the old lady reached up to her. “No, no…stay with me. I’ve waited so long, I’m afraid you won’t return and that this is just a vision. There’s a dream I’ve had so often. Samuil, holding a glass of Georgian wine, leads me into the library, full of old books and strange curiosities, in a ruined mansion wrapped in vines and lilacs. And Sashenka, on a sleigh with bells galloping through the streets of Petersburg, is laughing and saying, ‘Faster, Lala, faster…’ And then I wake up, here in this little room, alone.”
“Of course I’ll stay,” said Katinka, settling down again in the comfortable chair in the corner. She was glad not to have to go back to her unfriendly hotel on the outskirts of town.
During the warm night, she was woken by Lala, who was sitting up in bed. “She was arrested at the school gates, Baron. Yes, the gendarmes arrested her…What shall we do today, Sashenka? Shall we go skating, darling? No, if you’re a good girl, we’ll buy a tin of Huntley & Palmers biscuits at the English Shop on Nevsky. Pantameilion, bring round the sleigh…”
Katinka approached the bed. Lala’s eyes were open and she was holding a photograph to her breast: it was Sashenka in the white pinafore of the Smolny Institute, with the same amused eyes.
“Go back to sleep, Lala. Go back to sleep,” Katinka hushed her, stroking her forehead.
“Is that you, Sashenka? Oh, my darling, I knew you’d come back. I’m so happy to see you…” Lala’s head sank back onto her pillow. Katinka thought her sleeping face was ageless, the tender heart-shaped face of the girl who had come from England all those years ago.
Then she returned to her chair and sobbed—she wasn’t quite sure why—until she fell asleep again.
15
It was a balmy morning in the Georgian spring. When Katinka woke, the curtains were open. Lala, wearing a frayed pink dressing gown, was holding a small cup of Turkish coffee and a flat loaf of
Outside the window, Georgian men were singing “Suliko” on their way to work. There was so much music in Tbilisi. That very Georgian
“Good morning, dear child,” said Lala. “Run downstairs and get some coffee.”
Katinka sat right up. She rubbed her eyes. She had to get back to the hotel and call Roza. Her job was almost done, yet there was still so much to find out. Was Carlo still alive? And she was burning to know what had happened to Sashenka and Vanya. As if reading her mind, Lala said, “I know in my heart that Sashenka’s alive—and I know someone who might help us find her.”
By 10:00 a.m. next day, Katinka was back in Moscow and walking up Tverskaya Street. As a student, she had browsed at the World of Books shop on Tverskaya. Now she rang the bell on the third door of the building. The door clicked open into a naked stone hall with the usual stench of cabbage and she rode up to the penthouse in a tiny, dyspeptic elevator that reminded her of a sardine tin hanging on a cable. But when the doors groaned open, she gasped in surprise. Instead of a landing with three or four doors, the elevator opened into a high-ceilinged apartment decorated in gracious, airy pine, filled with the sort of dark, noble furniture she usually saw in museums. The walls were stacked high with books and thick magazines of the Soviet era, and hung with paintings in gold frames and old movie posters. It was not overpoweringly grand like Marshal Satinov’s place but cozy and aristocratic, the apartment of a well-off aesthete of Tsarist times.
“Welcome, Katinka,” said a striking elderly woman standing in the middle of the room. Well dressed, with a
