How it would feel to lose her.
The pain and the unfairness and the injustice.
The rage.
And how I wished it was me.
I look at the knife in my hand.
And I realize she’s right.
I realize what’s been right all along, as insane as it is.
She’s not the sacrifice.
She’s not.
“I know what he wants,” I say, standing up.
“What?” Viola says.
“TODD HEWITT!”
Definitely coming down the tunnel now.
Nowhere to run.
He’s coming.
She stands, too, and I move myself twixt her and the tunnel.
“Get down behind one of the pews,” I say. “Hide.”
“Todd—”
I move away from her, my hand staying on her arm till I’m too far away.
“Where are you going?” she says, her voice tightening.
I look back the way we came, up the tunnel of water.
He’ll be here any second.
“TODD HEWITT!”
“He’ll
I hold up the knife in front of me.
The knife that’s caused so much trouble.
The knife that holds so much power.
“Todd!” Viola says. “What are you
I turn to her. “He won’t hurt you,” I say. “Not when he knows I know what he wants.”
“What does he want?”
I search her out, standing among the pews, the white planet and moons glowing down on her, the water shining watery light over her, I search out her face and the language of her body as she stands there watching me, and I find I still know who she is, that she’s still Viola Eade, that silent don’t mean empty, that it
I look right into her eyes.
“I’m gonna greet him like a man,” I say.
And even tho it’s too loud for her to hear my Noise, even tho she can’t read my thoughts, she looks back at me.
And I see her understand.
She pulls herself up a little taller.
“I’m not hiding,” she says. “If you’re not, I’m not.”
And that’s all I need.
I nod.
“Ready?” I ask.
She looks at me.
She nods once, firmly.
I turn back to the tunnel.
I close my eyes.
I take a deep breath.
And with every bit of air in my lungs and every last note of Noise in my head, I rear up–
And I shout, as loud as I can–
“AARON!!!!!!”
And I open my eyes and I wait for him to come.
41. IF ONE OF US FALLS
I see his feet first, slipping down the steps some but not hurrying, taking his time now that he knows we’re here.
I hold the knife in my right hand, my left hand out and ready, too. I stand in the aisle of the little pews, as much in the centre of the church as I can get. Viola’s back behind me a bit, down one of the rows.
I’m ready.
I realize I
Everything that’s happened has brought me here, to this place, with this knife in my hand, and something worth saving.
Someone.
And if it’s a choice twixt her and him, there is no choice, and the army can go sod itself.
And so I’m ready.
As I’ll ever be.
Cuz I know what he wants.
“Come on,” I say, under my breath.
Aaron’s legs appear, then his arms, one carrying the rifle, the other holding his balance against the wall.
And then his face.
His terrible, terrible face.
Half torn away, the gash in his cheek showing his teeth, the hole where his nose used to be open and gaping, making him look barely human.
And he’s smiling.
Which is when I feel all the fear.
“Todd Hewitt,” he says, almost as a greeting.
I raise my voice over the water, willing it not to shake. “You can put the rifle down, Aaron.”
“Oh, can I, now?” he says, eyes widening, taking in Viola behind me. I don’t look back at her but I know she’s facing Aaron, I know she’s giving him all the bravery she’s got.
And that makes me stronger.
“I know what you want,” I say. “I figured it out.”
“Have you, young Todd?” Aaron says and I see he can’t help himself, he looks into my Noise, the little he can hear over the roar.
“She’s not the sacrifice,” I say.
He says nothing, just takes the first steps into the church, eyes glancing up at the cross and the pews and the pulpit.
“And I’m not the sacrifice neither,” I say.
His evil smile draws wider. A new tear opens up at the edge of his gash, blood waving down it in the spray. “A clever mind is a friend of the devil,” he says, which I think is his way of saying I’m right.
