'Still not too shabby.' He shrugged his shoulder, then took the lid off his coffee and took a long gulp.
When he set the cup back down, there was a scowl on his lips. 'You know, prison food gets a bad rap. The eggs and joe down there weren't half-bad.'
'If you really want, I'm sure you could figure out a way to go back.'
'S'alright. Hopefully my TiVo recorded all the Law
amp; Order episodes I missed.'
'At least your priorities are straight again.' He nodded, missing the joke.
'You told me you saw Helen,' my father said, looking back at me. He actually looked concerned. Even sad.
'She's in rehab,' I said. 'The state is paying for it.
Clarence Willingham is quite a guy. She has some good people looking out for her.'
'I never got to tell her I was sorry,' he said.
'I have her address,' I said. 'Write her a letter. She'd appreciate that.'
'Maybe I will.' The way he said it let me know that no such thing would ever be done.
'So they got the guys who did it. Who killed
Stephen.'
'They're both dead. The real killer, Kyle Evans, tried to frame his friend. Then the cops killed him.'
'Good riddance,' he said. 'It's all tied up with a pretty pink bow. I never want to set foot in this city again.'
'I still don't fully get it,' I said. 'If Stephen was really as high up as Kyle and Scott said he was, did he really need to leave the country to get away from them?
And if they were able to get close enough, obviously
Stephen didn't think they were a threat. Which makes me wonder just who Stephen was afraid of.'
'No disrespect to the dead,' my father said, 'but I don't think any of those boys were in their right mind.'
'And the cop, Makhoulian. I'm glad he worked so fast to get you out. I just didn't think he needed to kill
Kyle. He looked like he was giving up.'
'You're saying the guy who killed your brother should have lived?'
'One death doesn't always merit another. We have a justice system.'
'Which would have probably screwed up somehow and either let that boy walk on a technicality, put him in some cushy detention facility because some quack doctor on somebody's payroll said he has woman issues. Or he'd be out in enough time to kill somebody else's son. I don't know what's going on in this city, Henry, but being among criminals day in and day out is no way to live.'
'Maybe I'll move back home with you and Mom,'
I joked. That made him laugh. He checked his boarding pass.
'I should head to the gate. They'll probably give my ticket to some freak if I'm not there on time.'
His flight didn't board for another hour, but the
Parker family bonding hour had run its course. We both stood up. My dad stepped forward, then wrapped his arms around me, the most tentative hug I could imagine.
I returned it. Just a little stronger.
'Thank you for your help,' he said. The feeling was genuine. He wasn't going to apologize for the years before that, and I wasn't going to ask him to.
'Take care of yourself,' I said. 'And please take care of Mom. Do me one favor?'
He frowned. 'What?'
'Mom was knitting something when I saw her in
Bend. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to have it.'
'I'll tell her,' he said.
'And if you change your mind and decide to take a vacation in NYC, at least give me a call.'
'I will. And give my best to your girlfriend. She seems like a catch.'
'One in a million,' I said. 'Without her you'd still be in jail.'
'Guess I owe her a thank-you then. Pass it on for me, will ya?'
'I will. And Dad?'
'Yeah, Henry.'
'I'm sorry too. About Stephen. I wish I'd had a chance to know him. Maybe we could have saved him.'
His eyes closed as he took a deep breath. When he opened them, he sighed and said, 'Take care, Henry. It's good to see I raised you right.'
Then he was gone.
34
We were almost done packing. After several years in that apartment, the time had come to say goodbye before the floor gave out or a black hole opened up that sucked us into some alternate universe. A man can only face so many attempted assaults on his doorstep before rethinking his living situation. And since I'd already been thinking about more space, when Amanda agreed with me it made sense. My lease was up in a few weeks.
It was as good a time as any to start over.
We were submerged amongst folded cardboard boxes, masking tape, clothes, books, papers and every thing else you forget about and probably have no need for. My books took up the most room. I packed all of my first- edition Jack O'Donnell tomes in a padded box, reinforced with enough masking tape to hold up the
Brooklyn Bridge. My clothes were another story. There were two small boxes marked Henry's Clothes. They weighed about as much as a pizza.
'You know,' Amanda said, 'you could have saved on the moving van and just rented a bike. You could have fit all your stuff into one of those E.T. baskets.'
'I'm not a shopper, what do you want from me?'
'Not a shopper?' she said, putting down her Sharpie.
'Even being able to use the word shopper implies that you have, in fact, shopped in your life. I'm guessing most of these clothes survived from college, or else the local Salvation Army dropoff is pretty bare. When we get settled, first thing we're doing is taking you on a proper shopping spree. You could use a new suit. And new pants, new shirts, and don't get me started on your underwear.'
'Is this what we'll be like five years from now?' I said, smiling. I went up to Amanda, wrapped my arms around her. She snuggled in, resting her head on my shoulder. 'On each other's cases about clothing and stuff?'
'I'm playing with you, you big baby.' She tilted her head up until I was staring into those beautiful eyes.
'Besides, I just want the best for you. You're great at your job. I just want people to know that just by looking at you.'
'You know that just by looking at me.'
'Hopefully, most people won't need to wake up next to you in the morning in order to know you're the best young reporter in the city.'
'Best young reporter?'
'Don't get ahead of yourself. Give it time, Henry.'
I gave her a quick kiss, then went back to packing.
Though there were enough bad memories here to make me want to run away from this block screaming like a banshee, I'd miss it ever so slightly. Like that crazy first girlfriend who showed up at your apartment drunk at
4:00 a.m. and burned all your CDs when you broke up, there would be a small (well-guarded) place for it in my heart.
I wished there would be room for Stephen Gaines in my heart, but I couldn't force what was never there. I don't know how many people have pasts that exist without their knowledge. There was more to Stephen's life than
