“But I want to talk to
Candace nods, in complete agreement. “I can’t help you anymore, sweetie.”
The Algerian sits blinking as at the news of some FIS attack. “Candace? You’re sending me away?”
Weld touches her arm, rubs it. Open and honest. “You know how I will always feel about you.”
The words explain everything. The words are gibberish. Thassa looks to Stone to interpret. Stone stares at the pamphlet in her hands, unable to remember even what he’s doing there.
Thassa looks back and forth between them, insight blossoming. “If this is what you’ve chosen, Candace, I’m sure it’s the right thing. I’m sure it’s best. But I think I should go now.”
She backs toward the door. Candace steps forward to embrace her, but Thassa holds up one palm. She’s down the stairs at a trot before either adult can say anything.
Candace sits, passing her quaking fingers over her eyes. Stone takes awhile to realize that she’s crying, those blank tears that might as easily have been made by biking into a cold wind. He wants to step forward and place his arm on her frozen shoulders. He wants to chase down the stairs and find Thassa, tell her that nothing is as it seems. Candace rises and begins putting away dinner dishes. Stone is still standing on his tiny, germ-free island when Gabe comes back into the room.
The boy is crushed. “She left? Where’d she go? She said she was going to play. She lied!”
Stone looks to Candace, who pauses in her chores. Her voice comes out more trebly than her child’s: “I think it went pretty well. How about you?”
PART FIVE
NO MORE THAN GOD
(No place is bigger than where we live.)
– Pablo Neruda, “Soneto XCII,”
She’ll rise early, before the sun, and for a moment won’t know where she is. She won’t even be sure of
The hotel breakfast: a coffee the consistency of clay slip, a baguette, and jam made from a biblical-tasting fruit she can’t identify. After breakfast, Schiff wanders out into a day that’s like a thousand-watt bulb mounted inside an inverted cobalt bowl. She carries a tiny digital video camera. It’s not her first instrument of choice, but it’s light, practical, and sharp enough to give an authentic verite edge to the pilgrimage. She films everything she sees. She remembers Thassa’s pronouncement: all existence becomes a prize again, through a viewfinder.
She climbs and plunges down the steep streets, through a suq that has seen better centuries, the best of the morning’s produce already gone, the knickknacks tawdry, the vendors calling to her to free up her purse a little for once in her life. She navigates by guidebook up to the Casbah, just to shoot the town’s panorama. There she prowls around La Basilique, documenting the building’s changes in ownership: fourth-century grain storage turned Byzantine church turned mosque, recently returned to a Roman ruin. History is just fluctuations in appetite. Technology changes nothing. Someone, somewhere, sometime will auction off every inclination. When we tire of happiness, someone will make a market in useful despair.
She films the tiny courtyard, lingering on the Latin tablets and tomb inscriptions. She tries to decipher the inflections and conjugations, the ordered grammar of a dead language she learned in a Brussels high school, forgot all up and down the Atlantic seaboard, and revives now in this flyspeck town on the edge of the old empire, as vendors in the nearby streets call out fruit and vegetable names in Arabic. No place like home. Glued to one pillar is a worn poster for a local band, Rien a Dyr.
Tonia will spend an hour in the church, until an attendant asks her to stop filming. When she rolls out again, the comic-book sky will have tilted toward turquoise. She tracks through the half-excavated Roman baths alongside the spring that has kept the town alive for millennia. She strolls back to the esplanade-pristine, wide, and beautiful- through the heart of the old town that Bourguiba bulldozed in the sixties, in a ruthless improvement to touristic spec. Even this, she preserves in digital video.
On toward noon, she turns down a side alley and is stunned to find herself back near her hotel. She has gotten so twisted around in the maze of streets that for a minute, she can’t shake the feeling that there are two hotels, twin squares absolutely identical, parallel universes occupying identical colonial quartiers on opposite ends of the same hillside town.
She runs back up to her room and gets the two books that she has toted with her all the way from the States. She slips them into her shoulder bag. Her cheap attempt at emotional blackmail: gifts from the irrecoverable past. Secrets of the personal genome.
She debates whether to risk bringing the video camera. She has promised no film, no recording of any kind- absolute concessions required to get the interview at all. But she has banked this whole visit on a change of heart, a softening, once they begin to talk. She has come all this way, at greater expense than the project’s budget allows, in the hopes that she can elicit what no one in two years has been able to obtain. But any chance she has will vanish, if she angers her subject. Fortunately, the camera is no bigger than a family Bible. She drops it into her bag alongside the two books, where it discreetly disappears. She locks her room and trots down two flights of stairs, back into the blazing day.
She wanted to meet in Algiers, of course. Better yet, Bone, Setif-anyplace in Kabylia. But two months ago, an unnamed terrorist group attached a bomb to the undercarriage of a personnel carrier near the Hassi Messaoud oil field in east-central Algeria, killing nineteen people and wounding twelve. The attack would have been routine, in a country that suffers such strikes as often as North America suffers sports championships. But among the dead this time were three U.S. “advisers,” all of them in uniform.
Schiff didn’t even know her country had military personnel in Algeria. Nor did most of the world, gauging from the fallout on six continents. The State Department immediately issued a travel ban, and the chance of a visa vanished into fiction. A town just over the Tunisian border is as close as she will get-a compromise solution with narrative possibilities all its own.
Schiff will find herself sitting in the designated cafe, forty-five minutes early. She has no trouble finding the place.
She has been denied further phone contact on the thinnest of fatalisms. “I will be there, Ms. Schiff. And if I’m not, a phone won’t help. We both just have to trust.” Schiff sits nursing what is surely the worst tea she has ever encountered anywhere in the world, served in a beautiful enameled glass. The liquid has been repeatedly boiled down to something the consistency and sweetness of a hot Popsicle, served with a jaunty sprig of mint on top. She wants to film it, but she’s afraid to take the DV camera out of the bag. Every ten minutes a waiter turns up to scowl at her for being a single woman sitting in a cafe, for thinking taboo thoughts, and for not making any more headway on the innocuous beverage. But Tonia has bought her right to sit in silence, and no one shoos her away.
She sits and does what she’s done now for three days: reads Thassa’s beaten-up copy of
Everywhere in the world, for almost all of human history, most people would have mocked the thought that a person might beat fate.
Several lifetimes later, at 12:53, she goes to the well again:
Some characters seem to be born with a blazing red X on their forehead.
