'Is she perfectly pure now?' said Frank. 'For to tell you the truth I haven't come across a genuine maid since I landed a stripling of sixteen, nearly ten years ago. Are you sure you haven't?'
'I'll swear it, if you like,' I returned, laughing at the soft impeachment, 'but take my advice, Frank, and win her. She'll be worth at least forty thousand when the old folks snuff it.'
'I'm on the job,' said Frank; and it was easy to see from the immaculate shirt front, the brilliant conversation, and the great attention he paid her, that he meant business.
One night, however, I was puzzled, for I thought Frank was far more assiduous in his manner to my sister than he should have been, considering that the 'nugget', for so we had christened Polly, was present.
I could not understand it at all, and determined to watch the development of the situation.
There was, I must tell you, an underplot to all this, for several times I had noted that Polly's regard for me was a trifle too warm, and once or twice in the theatre, and in the brougham, coming home particularly, I had felt the soft pressure of her knees, and returned it with interest-but, to my story:
Frank proposed going to Madame Tussaud's, and as Polly had never been, and my sister knew every model in the show by heart, Frank suggested that he should take the 'nugget', 'unless you would like to go with us,' he said to me.
'Not I, indeed,' was my reply. 'Besides, Sissy here will be alone, as her beautiful husband has been out all day, and will, I suppose, return beastly drunk about midnight. No, you go together and enjoy your little selves.' So off they went.
When Polly passed me in the hall, she gave me a peculiar look, which I utterly failed to comprehend, and asked me to fasten her glove. As I did so she passed a slip of paper into my hand and when she had gone I read on it these words: 'Be in the study about nine o'clock.'
What can the little minx mean? was my first thought. She surely wouldn't go about an intrigue in this bare- faced fashion; she has been brought up in a demure way. Yet what on earth can she mean? At any rate I will do her bidding.
Making an excuse to my sister about eight o'clock, for I was as curious as possible to know what it could all portend, and saying I was going out for a couple of hours, I slammed the hall door behind me, and then quietly crept upstairs to the study.
I found it in darkness, but knowing where the couch was situated, at the far end of the room, I made for it, and I must confess the solitude, the darkness and a good dinner, all combined, made me forget curiosity, Polly, the warning note and everything else, and in less than five minutes I was fast asleep.
I was awakened by a scented hand I knew was a woman's touching my face and a low voice whispered in my ear'You are here then; I never heard you come in.'
Damn it, I thought, it's an intrigue after all; but she's too tall for Polly. Oh, I see it all, she's our prim landlady (who retained one room in the house, and was, I knew, nuts upon my brother-in-law). Polly found out about it, and set me on the track, so without saying a word I laid her unresistingly on the couch, and in a few seconds was busy.
I could not help thinking while wiring in that she displayed much vigour for one of her years, since I judged the lady to be at least forty105 five, but her ardour only made me the more fervent, and at the end of a long series of skirmishes the real hot short work began.
It would be impossible to express my horror at this moment when my hand came in contact with a cross she was wearing around her neck, and I found that it was my own sister I was rogering.
I had, unluckily, got to that point where no man or woman could cease firing, but the worst part of the damned unfortunate affair was that I burst out with an ejaculation of dismay and she recognised my voice. The situation was terrible.
'Good God!' I said. 'Sophy, how on earth has this come about?'
Then, sobbingly, she told me that her husband had abstained from her for more than two years because he had contracted a chronic gonorrhoeic disorder and that Vaughan had won her over to make this rendezvous, and had intended letting Polly be shown through Tussaud's by a friend he had arranged to meet there. 'But,' she added, 'how was it I found you here?' This I dared not tell her, as it was now evident that Polly was aware of the assignation, and to let my sister know-that would have been death.
Poor girl, she was sufficiently punished for her frailty, and Polly, who had caught a few words of the appointment, was sufficiently revenged.
CHAPTER 24
Fifteen years have now elapsed since I scribbled the former part of my experiences. Times are sadly altered with my best friend now, and I am rapidly approaching the time when all may prove 'vanity and vexation of spirit', for although I still carry a most formidable outward and visible sign, the inward and spiritual grace so necessary to please the ladies is now almost dormant in my fucked-out nature.
Years ago I remember how I looked with something like contempt upon the art and science of flagellation as dilated upon by Monsignor Peter; now I am quite converted to his theory.
A most fortunate recontre has been the means of this conversion; lately sauntering down Regent Street, thinking of the time when I used to do three or four pretty demi-mondes in a day'Ah, Gerty, do you know him, too?' in an ever to be remembered voice caused me suddenly to turn and confront the speaker, who proved to be none other than Airs Leveson, looking almost as lovely as ever, and incomprehensively in the company of my old flame Gerty, of the Temple. This was a delightful renewal of old acquaintanceships, and a very few explanations let me thoroughly into the situation.
Leveson had been dead several years, leaving his wife sole guardian of their son (my son, she assured me in a loving whisper. 'He is now eighteen-never can I forget the night you made him for me').
Gerty had been persuaded by Airs Leveson to give up her dressmaking business, and live with her as a kind of companion housekeeper, the former's Sapphic tastes having attached her to the voluptuous Airs L., who discovered it from Gerry's remarks on the women of the day in Paris, who prefer their own sex as lovers and care very little for the attentions of men.
'My son is abroad with his tutor; will you, Mr. Clinton, come home to dinner, and spend the evening at our quiet little town house? James is such a rake-just like his father-I don't mean Mr. Leveson, poor dear, he was rather too good, and never made a baby for me or anyone else. Gerty knows all about it, but your name was never mentioned, and now I suppose you are the Temple student who seduced her with finery, and took advantage of her young inexperience, although she never mentioned you?'
'Really, this is most charming, but, my dear ladies, I can only accept if you promise we shall be a happy family-free from jealousy.'
'Make yourself easy, dear Mr. Clinton; as to that, everything is common between us in thought, word and deed; in feet, with our dearest friend, Lady Twisser, we are three loving communists, each one's secrets as sacred as if our own!'
'Lady Fanny Twisser, who was separated from her husband because he couldn't believe his dildo was the father of her boy!' I exclaimed.
'Good God, Mr. Clinton, there you are again; you must be a universal father. Now I'm sure it's you who did that service for dear Fanny, and we'll wire to her at once to come and join our dinner party.'
Highly elated they conducted me to their carriage, which was waiting outside Lewis and Allenby's, and we soon reached Mrs. Leveson's house in Cromwell Road, South Kensington.
Gerty showed me to a room to prepare for dinner, and it was arranged we should have a real love seance after the servants had gone to bed. At dinner I saw Lady Fanny, who met me with a most fervent embrace, assuring me, with tears in her eyes, that I was the source of the only happiness she had had in her life (her son, now at Oxford).
All through dinner, and long after while we sat on over dessert talking of old times, I felt as proud as a barn- door cock with three favourite hens, all glowing with love and anxious for his attentions; the ardent glances of lovely
