A Million Suns

“She wasn’t working,” Doc says. He sits beside Lil on the bed, peeling the patches off one by one. They cling to her skin, lifting it up a little and making a schlick sound as they pop off her. “Anyone not working, anyone not fulfilling the needs of the ship… they’re not following you.”

Doc waits until I tear my eyes away from Lil’s body. “She was murdered for you,” he says clearly, slowly, as if to make sure that I understand the weight of her death rests on my shoulders.

34 AMY

I CAN’T KEEP STILL. I MAY HAVE GIVEN UP RUNNING, BUT I can’t think cramped up on the cryo level, with all the locked doors mocking me. I have to move. When I get to the Hospital lobby, though, I’m surrounded by shouting patients, angry nurses, and a crowd that seems to grow by the minute.

“It’s safe!” Doc’s apprentice, Kit, tells a woman loudly. “Just one is fine!”

“How do I know that?” the woman asks. Her voice is thick, like she’s been crying.

“Well, look at yourself,” Kit says, exasperated. “You’re fine, aren’t you?”

“I think so… but…”

Kit growls in frustration and marches off, nearly crashing into me.

“Sorry,” she says.

“No prob. What’s going on?”

“Those frexing med patches. People are worried they’re dying, but if they’d had the overdose, they’d already be dead. Try to convince them of that, though.”

“What med patches?”

Kit reaches into her lab coat and shows me a square green patch. “Doc developed them for the depressed patients. Works, too. If you have only one. Problem is, word’s gotten out that three or more will kill you.”

“What’s in them?”

“Phydus.” She says it matter-of-factly, but she waits for my reaction before continuing.

Phydus. I thought we were through with that.

Part of me is angry. Very, very angry. I thought Elder and I agreed. I thought he had promised. No more Phydus. But another part of me can’t forget the crowd that turned into a mob in the City.

“We’re all going to die!” the woman Kit had been arguing with shouts. She grabs Kit by the lapels of her coat, her knuckles turning white.

Kit wraps one hand around the woman’s wrist, and, surprisingly, the woman easily releases her. Her arms drop to her sides, and her whole body relaxes.

“There, isn’t that better?” Kit asks gently.

The woman doesn’t answer. And then I notice the pale green patch on the back of her hand.

Kit leads the woman to a chair against the wall and deposits her there. She turns back to me with a satisfied look on her face. And — I can’t help but smile back at her. That worked. Maybe if Elder had had some patches in the City yesterday, things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand. And maybe if I had had one in the fiction room when Luthor burst in…

“Can I have some of those patches?” I ask Kit.

She narrows her eyes at me. “Didn’t you hear? They’re not safe. We’re trying to get all the ones that were stolen back. Only Doc, the nurses, and I are supposed to use them.”

Interesting. The patches were stolen.

“Can I just have one, then?” I ask.

Something in Kit melts. I think she thinks I’m depressed about being the only freak on the ship — she’s always been nice to me in the way that some people are super-nice in a suffocating sort of way to people who are handicapped.

“Don’t tell Doc,” she whispers, slipping me a patch. I hide it in my pocket, next to the floppy I found in the armory.

I pull my jacket hood up before I leave the Hospital, but, armed as I am with a Phydus patch, I don’t bother with the scarf around my hair. I head directly to the Recorder Hall. It’s a long shot, but Orion left the clues — the real clues — for me. Even if the last clue was tampered with, Orion’s had a pretty solid plan to make sure I’ve gotten where I needed to go. So far, the clues have come from Harley’s paintings or the Recorder Hall. Maybe the next one will too.

Yeah. Right. It’s going to be so easy to find one clue out of all the book rooms, art galleries, and artifact rooms in the Recorder Hall—if the clue is even there. For the first time ever, Godspeed actually feels… huge. I’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell to find this thing.

I can’t help but smirk. After all, Dante’s hell was made of ice.

As I approach the Recorder Hall, I see a group of people standing in a tight cluster on the porch. I pull my hood lower and slip my hand into my pocket, fingering the Phydus med patch.

“The ship needs guidance,” a man says.

I stop near the handrail, hesitant to go up the steps. Instead, I turn around so, if the group looked at me, they’d only see the back of my jacket.

“Bartie?” a woman asks. “Maybe Luthor?”

“Maybe one of them. But not necessarily. Just someone… older. More experienced.”

I try to look casual and uninterested as I strain to hear more.

“Elder’s been training for this his whole life,” a female voice says. I want to cheer — at least someone’s sticking up for Elder.

The first man’s laugh is harsh and mirthless. “Elder never listened to Eldest. They’re too different.”

I think of the giant cylinders hidden on the cryo level, filled with clones of Eldest. They’re more alike than the man could guess. Part of me thinks that, perhaps, Elder should have told them about the cloning. It was one of the few things he kept secret, and I don’t begrudge him this — after all, the only person this secret affects is him.

“Haven’t you noticed how slim the rations are getting? There wasn’t even lunch today. Elder thinks if he controls our food, he can control us. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll patch us. Those patches are dangerous — they’ve already killed.”

“I’d like to know how those frexing patches got everywhere,” a woman with a deep voice says. “I half think Elder did it after the trouble at the Food Distro. He might not be putting that frexing drug in our water anymore, but he’s making sure the troublemakers get it somehow.”

“Doc said the patches were stolen,” the first woman, the only dissenter in the group, says.

“He says,” the man shoots back. “But Doc’s always brownnosed the Eldest. I bet Elder told him to make sure anyone causing trouble gets patched.”

“Yes, but—” the woman starts to say.

I’ve had enough. “Are you really going to stand here and spread lies about Elder?” I demand, whirling around and striding up the steps toward the group. “You’re going to start a rebellion, talking like that.”

The man in the center of the crowd turns, but he doesn’t seem to care much that I’ve overhead him. If anything, he’s proud.

“This isn’t about rebellion,” he says gently, as if explaining something to someone very young. “Have you read Bartie’s manifesto?” He waves the floppy at me, but I don’t take it. “This is about doing what’s best for the ship. About keeping everyone safe and happy.” He pauses. “The ship is more important than any one person. Even Elder.”

“Happy?” I shoot back. The kinder the man’s voice is, the angrier I’m becoming. “What has Elder done to make you unhappy?”

The woman with a deep voice shakes her head. “It’s not that Elder’s bad. It’s that