Blue Dahlia

'I know what you mean. Maybe she's Alice. Maybe what she needs to pass over is to be acknowledged by name.'

'Well.' Stella looked at the cartons and books. 'Let's dig in.'

* * *

She dreamed again that night, with her mind full of ghosts and questions, of her perfect garden with the blue dahlia that grew stubbornly in its midst.

A weed is a flower growing in the wrong place.

She heard the voice inside her head, a voice that wasn't her own.

'It's true. That's true,' she murmured. 'But it's so beautiful. So strong and vivid.'

It seems so now, but it's deceptive. If it stays, it changes everything. It will take over, and spoil

everything you've done. Everything you have. Would you risk that, risk all, for one dazzling flower?

One that will only die away at the first frost?

'I don't know.' Studying the garden, she rubbed her arms as her skin pricked with unease. 'Maybe

I could change the plan. I might be able to use it as a focal point.'

Thunder boomed and the sky went black, as she stood by the garden, just as she'd once stood through

a stormy evening in her own kitchen.

And the grief she'd felt then stabbed into her as if someone had plunged a knife into her heart.

Feel it? Would you feel it again? Would you risk that kind of pain, for this?

'I can't breathe.' She sank to her knees as the pain radiated. 'I can't breathe. What's happening to me?'

Remember it. Think of it. Remember the innocence of your children and hack it down. Dig it put. Before it's too late! Can't you see how it tries to overshadow the rest? Can't you see how it steals

the light? Beauty can be poison.

She woke, shivering with cold, with her heart beating against the pain that had ripped awake with her.

And knew she hadn't been alone, not even in dreams.

THIRTEEN

On her day off, Stella took the boys to meet her father and his wife at the zoo. Within an hour, the boys were carting around rubber snakes, balloons, and chowing down on ice cream cones.

Stella had long since accepted that a grandparent's primary job was to spoil, and since fate had given

her sons only this one set, she let them have free rein.

When the reptile house became the next objective, she opted out, freely handing the controls of the next stage to Granddad.

'Your mom's always been squeamish about snakes,' Will told the boys.

'And I'm not ashamed to admit it. You all just go ahead. I'll wait.'

'I'll keep you company.' Jolene adjusted her baby-blue ball cap. 'I'd rather be with Stella than a boa constrictor any day.'

'Girls.' Will exchanged a pitying look with each of his grandsons. 'Come on, men, into the snake pit!'

On a battle cry, the three of them charged the building.

'He's so good with them,' Stella said. 'So natural and easy. I'm so glad we're living close now, and they can see each other regularly.'

'You couldn't be happier about it than we are. I swear that man's been like a kid himself the last couple

of days, just waiting for today to get here. He couldn't be more proud of the three of you.'

'I guess we both missed out on a lot when I was growing up.'

'It's good you're making up for it now.'

Stella glanced at Jolene as they walked over to a bench. 'You never say anything about her. You never criticize.'

'Sugar pie, I bit my tongue to ribbons more times than I can count in the last twenty-seven years.'

'Why?'

'Well, honey, when you're the second wife, and the stepmama on top of that, it's the smartest thing you can do. Besides, you grew up to be a strong, smart, generous woman raising the two most handsome, brightest, most charming boys on God's green earth. What's the point of criticizing?'

She does you, Stella thought. 'Have I ever told you I think you're the best thing that ever happened to

my father?'

'Maybe once or twice.' Jolene pinked prettily. 'But I never mind hearing it repeated.'

'Let me add, you're one of the best things that ever happened to me. And the kids.'

'Oh, now.' This time Jolene's eyes filled. 'Now you've got me going.' She dug in her purse, dug out a lace hankie. 'That's the sweetest thing. The sweetest thing.' She sniffled, tried to dab at her eyes and

hug Stella at the same time. 'I just love you to pieces. I always did.'

'I always felt it.' Tearing up herself, Stella pushed through her own purse for a more mundane tissue. 'God, look at the mess we've made of each other.'

'It was worth it. Sometimes a good little cry's as good as some sex. Do I have mascara all down my face?'

'No. Just a little ...' Stella used the corner of her tissue to wipe away a smear under Jolene's eye.

'There. You're fine.'

'I feel like a million tax-free dollars. Now, tell me how you're getting on before I start leaking again.'

'Work-wise it couldn't be better. It really couldn't. We're about to hit the spring rush dead-on, and I'm

so revved for it. The boys are happy, making friends at school. Actually, between you and me, I think Gavin's got a crush on this little curly-headed blond in his class. Her name's Melissa, and the tips of his ears get red when he mentions her.'

'That's so sweet. Nothing like your first crush, is there? I remember mine. I was crazy for this boy. He had a face full of freckles and a cowlick. I just about died with joy the day he gave me a little hop-toad

in a shoe box.'

'A toad.'

'Well, honey, I was eight and a country girl, so it was a thoughtful gift all in all. He ended up marrying

a friend of mine. I was in the wedding and had to wear the most godawful pink dress with a hoop skirt wide enough I could've hidden a horse under it and rode to the church. It was covered with ruffles, so

I looked like a human wedding cake.'

She waved a hand while Stella rolled with laughter. 'I don't know why I'm going on about that, except

it's the sort of traumatic experience you never forget, even after more than thirty years. Now they live

on the other side of the city. We get together every now and then for dinner. He's still got the freckles, but the