'Can I call?' she asked anxiously. 'If I don't hear from you? In three or four days?'
'Sure,' he said equably. 'Why not?'
He put the short stub of his cigar aside. He yawned, showing those big, stained teeth. Then he laced his fingers comfortably across his thick middle. He regarded her kindly.
'Regular periods, Zoe?'
'Oh yes,' she said. 'Twenty-six or -seven or -eight days. Around there.'
'Good,' he said. 'When's the next?'
'April tenth,' she said promptly.
'Still have the cramps?'
'Yes.'
'When do they start?'
'A day or two before.'
'Severe?'
'They get worse. They don't stop until I begin to bleed.'
He made an expression, a wince, then shook his head.
'I told you, Zoe, I can't find any physical cause. I wish you'd take my advice and see, uh, a counselor.'
'Everyone wants me to see a shrink!' she burst out.
He looked up sharply. 'Everyone?'
She wouldn't look at him. 'A friend.'
'And what did you say?'
'No.'
He sighed. 'Well, it's your body and your life. But you shouldn't have to suffer that. The cramps, I mean.'
'They're not so bad,' she said.
But they were.
At about 8:30 that evening, Dr. Oscar Stark pushed a button fixed to the doorjamb of his office. It rang a buzzer upstairs in the kitchen and alerted his wife that he'd be up in ten or fifteen minutes, ready for dinner.
He had already said goodnight to his receptionist and nurses. He took off his white cotton jacket. He washed up in one of the lavatories. He donned a worn velvet smoking jacket, so old that the elbows shone. He wandered tiredly through the first floor offices, turning off lights, making certain the drug cabinet was locked, trying doors and windows.
He climbed the broad staircase slowly, pulling himself along with the banister. Once again he vowed that he would retire in two years. Sell the practice and the building. Spend a year breaking in the new man.
Then he and Berthe would leave New York. Buy a condominium in Florida. Most of their friends had already gone. The children had married and left. He and Berthe deserved some rest. At peace. In the sun.
He knew it would never happen.
That night Berthe had prepared mushroom-and-barley soup, his favorite, and a pot roast made with first-cut brisket. His spirits soared. He had a Scotch highball and lighted a cigar.
'It was a hard day?' his wife asked.
'No better or worse than usual,' he said.
She looked at him narrowly.
'That Zoe Kohler woman?' she said.
He was astonished. 'You know about her?'
'Of course. You told me.'
'I did?'
'Twice,' she said, nodding. 'The first Tuesday of every month.'
'Oh-ho,' he said, looking at her lovingly. 'Now I understand the mushroom-and-barley soup.'
'The first Tuesday of every month,' Berthe said, smiling. 'To revive you. Oscar, you think she… Well, you know, some women enjoy… You told me so.'
'Yes,' he said seriously, 'that's so. But not her. For her it's painful.'
'Painful? It hurts? You hurt her?'
'Oh no, Berthe. No, no, no. You know me better than that. But I think it's a kind of punishment for her. That's how she sees it.'
'Punishment for what? Has she done something?'
'Such a question. How would I know?'
'Come, let's eat.'
They went into the dining room. It was full of shadows.
'I don't think she's done something,' he tried to explain. 'I mean, she doesn't want punishment because she feels guilty. I think she feels unworthy.'
'My husband the psychologist.'
'Well, that's what I think it is,' he repeated stubbornly. 'She comes every month for an examination she doesn't need and that she hates. It's punishment for her unworthiness. That's how she gets her gratification.'
'Sha,' his wife said. 'Put your cigar down and eat your soup.'
The cramps were bad. None of her pills helped. The pain came from deep within her, in waves. It wrenched her gut, twisted her inside. It was a giant hand, clawing, yanking this way and that, turning her over. She wanted to scream.
She left work early on Wednesday night, April 9th. Mr. Pinckney was sympathetic when she told him the cause.
'Take tomorrow off,' he said. 'We'll manage.'
'Oh no,' she said. 'I'll be all right tomorrow.'
She went directly home and drew a bath as hot as she could endure. She soaked for an hour, running in more hot water as the tub cooled. She searched for telltale stains, but the water remained clear; her menses had not yet started.
She swallowed an assortment of vitamins and minerals before she dressed. She didn't care what Dr. Stark said; she was convinced they were helping her survive. And she sipped a glass of white wine while she dressed. The cramps had diminished to a dull, persistent throbbing.
She regretted the necessity of going up to the Filmore on West 72nd Street to put on makeup and don her new strawberry blond wig. But she didn't want to risk the danger of having her neighbors and doorman see her transformed.
Also, there was a risk of going directly from her apartment house to the Hotel Coolidge. The cabdriver might remember. A circuitous route was safer.
She had selected the Coolidge because the hotel trade magazine, in its directory of conventions and sales meetings, had listed the Coolidge as hosting two conventions and a political gathering on the night of April 9th. It was an 840-rocm hotel on Seventh Avenue and 50th Street. Close enough to Times Square to get a lot of walk-in business in its cocktail lounges and dining rooms.
She wore fire-engine-red nylon lingerie embroidered with small hearts, sheer pantyhose with a reddish tint, her evening sandals with their 'hookers' heels.' The dress, tightly fitted, was a bottle-green silk so dark it was almost black. It shimmered, and was skimpy as a slip, suspended from her smooth shoulders by spaghetti straps.
Two hours later she was seated alone at a small banquette in the New Orleans Room of the Hotel Coolidge. Her trenchcoat was folded on the seat beside her. She was smoking a cigarette and sipping a glass of white wine. She did not turn her head, but her eyes were never still.
It was a small, dimly lighted room, half-filled. A three-piece band played desultory jazz from a raised platform in one corner. It was all relatively quiet, relaxed. Zoe Kohler wondered if she might do better in the Gold Coast Room.
Most of the men who entered were in twos and threes, hatless and coatless, but bearing badges on the lapels of their suit jackets. They invariably headed directly for the bar. There were a few couples at the small tables, but not many.
Shortly after 11:00 p.m., a single man came to the entrance of the New Orleans Room. He stood a moment, looking about.
Come to me, Zoe Kohler willed. Come to me.
