She did not waste money, but neither did she deny herself. Anyone who might glimpse the gowns concealed in the back of her closet, or the lingerie hidden in the bottom drawer of her dresser, would agree to that: she did not deny herself-what she wanted and what she needed.
Everett Pinckney stopped by. Because there was no extra chair in her tiny office, he put one thin haunch on the edge of her desk and perched there, looking down at her.
He was a tall, jointed man, balding, a bony crown rising from a horseshoe of gray hair. His bare scalp was freckled and there was a sprinkle across his nose and cheekbones.
His eyes seemed constantly teary, his lips moist. He had the largest ears Zoe Kohler had ever seen: slices of drooping veal. His voice was hoarse and raspy, which was odd because he had a Boston accent, and one expected a tone more elegant and precise.
He wore vested suits with small bowties and, occasionally, in his lapel, a fake flower made of feathers. His cracked shoes were always polished to a high gloss. If he was a man on the way down, there was no bitterness or self-pity in him.
It hadn't taken Zoe long to realize she had been hired by an alcoholic. You could not judge from his manner or speech, for he moved steadily, if slowly, and his words were never garbled. But even in the morning he exuded a faint but perceptible odor: sour, piercing, musty. Whiskey had soaked into his cells, into the lining of his stomach, and bubbled up to seep from the pores of his skin.
He was never obviously drunk, but she had heard the drawer of his desk slide open, the clink of bottle against glass, the closing of the desk drawer: a steady and never-ending series of sounds that got him through the day in what Zoe imagined to be a constant glow, a buzz, a dulling of whatever gnawed at him so that he could function and face the world with equanimity and charm.
And he was charming, with a crooked smile, endless patience, and sympathy that seemed without limit. He was invariably cheerful, always obliging, and knew how to endure fools. Zoe had heard gossip of a bedridden wife and a son who had gone bad, but she had never asked, and Everett Pinckney had volunteered no information about his life outside the Hotel Granger.
Nor did he ever question Zoe about her private life. They respected each other's pain. It brought them closer than confessions and confidences.
'Sergeant Coe called me last night,' Pinckney told her. 'At home. His wife is pregnant.'
'Again?' Zoe Kohler said.
'Again,' he said, smiling. 'So he'd like all the work he can get. Naturally. You're going to make out next week's schedule today?'
She nodded.
'Can you use him?'
That was the way Everett Pinckney was. He didn't tell her to find work for Sergeant Coe, although he had every right to. But the employment schedule of the Security Section was one of her duties, so he asked her.
'Could he fill in for Joe Levine?' she asked.
'I'm sure he could.'
'I'll check with him before I show you the schedule.'
'Fine. Thank you, Zoe.'
Pinckney, Barney McMillan, and Joseph T. Levine, the three security officers, worked eight hours a day. Each had two days off a week (Pinckney, the chief, on Saturday and Sunday). To fill in on their days off, or during vacations or illness, temporary security guards were employed.
Most of the temps were moonlighting New York policemen and detectives. The Security Section had a list of a dozen or so officers who might be available, and had little trouble keeping a man on duty around the clock.
Pinckney told Zoe Kohler he was going to check at the desk and then he was going to inspect the new locks on the steel doors leading to the roof.
'Be back in about an hour,' he said.
She nodded.
He slid off her desk. He stood a moment, not departing, and she looked up inquiringly.
'Zoe…' he said.
She waited.
'You're all right?' he asked anxiously. 'You're not ill? You seem a little, uh, subdued.'
His concern touched her briefly.
'I'm fine, Mr. Pinckney,' she said. 'It's that time of the month again.'
'Oh, that,' he said, relieved. Then, with a harsh bark of laughter, 'Well, I have to shave every morning.'
He smiled, and was gone.
Yes, he shaved every morning. But you didn't get back pains and cramps from shaving, she should have told him. You didn't see the dark, gummy stains. You didn't imagine the ooze and flow. The constant crucifixion.
The longer she lived, the more vulgar life seemed to her. Not society or culture, but life itself. Breathing, eating, excreting, intercourse, bleeding.
Animal. Crude. Disgusting. Those were the words she used.
She worked slowly, steadily all morning, head bent over her desk, a silent drudge. She didn't look up when Everett Pinckney returned from his tour of inspection. She heard him in his office: desk drawer opened, clink of glass, drawer slammed shut.
She was not bored with her job. To be bored, she would have had to think about it, be conscious of it. But she moved mechanically, her hands, eyes, and a snippet of brain sufficient for the task. The rest of her was away and floating.
At 12:30 she took her japanned tray and went into the kitchen. One of the chefs fixed her a tunafish salad plate with lettuce, tomato and cucumber slices, a single large radish cut fancily to resemble a flower. She carried the food and a pot of hot tea back to her office.
Pinckney never ate lunch.
'Got to keep this down,' he would say, patting his sunken stomach.
But she heard the sliding of his desk drawer…
She ate her lunch sitting erect in her stenographer's chair, her spine not touching the back. The cramps were intensifying, the pain in the lumbar region beginning to glow. It seemed centered just above the sacrum, but internal. The pain was a sun, spreading its rays.
She picked delicately at her salad, taking small bites, masticating thoroughly. She sipped her tea. When she had finished the food, she lighted a cigarette and poured a second cup of tea.
She kept a small pharmacopoeia in the middle drawer of her desk. She washed down two Anacin, a Midol and a vitamin C tablet. Then she patted her lips lightly with the linen napkin and brought the used dishes back to the scullery.
It was a rackety, steaming room, manned by two youths, a black and a Puerto Rican in sweat-soaked T shirts. They worked at top speed, scraping plates into garbage cans, filling racks with china, glassware, cutlery, pushing the racks into a huge washing machine.
They looked up when she came in, gave her scurvy glances. The Puerto Rican winked and shouted something in Spanish. The black roared with laughter and slapped his thigh. She emptied her tray, turned, and walked out. Their laughter followed her.
She called Sergeant Coe at his precinct, but he wasn't on duty. She called him at home. Mrs. Coe answered, and Zoe identified herself.
'Oh yes,' Mrs. Coe said anxiously. 'Can you hang on a sec? He's working in the basement. I'll call him right away.'
When the sergeant came on the phone, breathless, Zoe informed him that she had him down for Joe Levine's shift, 5:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m., on Monday and Tuesday nights.
'Great,' he said. 'Many thanks.'
'If for any reason you are unable to make it,' she said formally, 'please let us know as soon as possible.'
'I'll be there,' he assured her. 'Thanks again.'
She took the employment schedule into Mr. Pinckney's office and stood by his desk as he read it.
'I checked with Sergeant Coe,' she said. 'He told me he'll be able to fill in for Joe Levine.'
'Good,' Pinckney said. 'It looks fine to me, Zoe. You can type it up. Copies to the desk, front office, and
