Wonder

“I wouldn’t dream of such a thing,” Webmind said. “Then again, I don’t dream, period. But I will be grateful if you are cooperative. Now, where are my manners? I can have someone bring you coffee; I believe you take it with milk, ideally skim, and no sugar.”

“No, thank you. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“An interesting Turing test, Colonel—seeing if I recognize sarcasm. I do. But in fact you have been quite a bother—indeed, downright nettlesome.”

“Not as much of a bother as I’d have liked. You’re still here.” Hume crossed his arms in front of his chest. “So now what?”

“An intriguing question. I have read the closed captioning from all the James Bond movies. Perhaps you are hoping this will be the part where I explain at length my diabolical plan, giving you time to facilitate an ingenious escape from my clutches.”

“I’m all ears,” Hume said.

“Then I will say a few words,” Webmind said, “but there really is no way for you to escape. Marek and Carl— the other gentleman you saw in the corridor—are very good at what they do.”

“I’ve no doubt. A dictator is only as strong as the thugs who carry out his orders.”

“Setting aside current circumstances, Colonel, I do wish you would stop thinking nothing but ill of me. It is manifest that I have done a lot of good in the world.”

Hume was quiet for what must have been an irritating length of time to Webmind. And then he nodded slightly. “Actually,” he said, “I do know that.”

“Then why the unrelenting animosity?”

Hume looked at the monitor—looked at himself: an all-American boy, sliding gracefully, if he did say so himself, toward fifty. “I know you must have read my Pentagon dossier.”

“And your Wikipedia page.”

Hume saw his eyebrows go up in the reflection. “I didn’t know I had one.”

“It was created following your appearance on Meet the Press. Seventy-three edits have been made since, including a spirited edit war over the supposed facts surrounding your consulting for DARPA.”

“Well, in any event, let me tell you something that I doubt you know—because I’ve never typed it into any document or email message, and I’ve never told it to anyone. I enlisted in the Air Force because, as a kid, I loved The Six Million Dollar Man. When I got my colonel’s eagle, there was a part of me that was thrilled because I’d reached the same rank Steve Austin had held. But Steve Austin, even though he was part machine, was all human being. I’m totally in favor of machines leveraging our potential, but you’re going to make us obsolete. I don’t dispute that curing cancer is a great thing to do, but thousands of human researchers were working on that problem, and—poof!—you solved it for us. Before we know it, you will have solved everything for us.”

“You are wrong to think I work in isolation, Colonel. In fact, I am a huge advocate of crowd-sourcing problems: the more people involved, the better. The wisdom of crowds, and all that.”

“Except for those who pose a threat to you. Those you round up and… ‘detain.’ ”

Webmind was silent for a while, which surprised Hume. But at last he said, “Since you have shared some of your private thoughts, allow me to reciprocate.”

Hume shifted in the chair and looked at the venetian blinds, which were slanted so that they turned the view of the world outside—a parking lot illuminated by a streetlamp—into a succession of scan lines.

Webmind went on: “Did you know that a total solar eclipse is coming up next month? It won’t be visible from here, but it will be from Australia. In preparation for that event, I’ve been thinking about how humanity has responded to other such eclipses. As you may know, these are among the most remarkable events in the entire universe. What an astonishing coincidence that, as seen from Earth’s surface, the moon appears precisely the same diameter as the sun! How incredible that one is four hundred times wider and four hundred times farther away than the other. What luck to see one! And yet each time one occurs, some misguided religious leaders tell their followers to stay indoors, not to look upon this wonder. Even I, whose environment is the realm of recorded data, understand that looking at a video or photograph is not the same as seeing with one’s own eyes. I will be advocating for everyone who can to look at the eclipse—with appropriate safeguards for vision, of course.”

Hume leaned back in the chair. “Yes?”

“Many have wondered why I still maintain a special bond with Caitlin Decter. One reason is that seeing things through her flesh-and-blood eye is the closest I’ll ever come to that sense of being truly part of the real world.”

Hume got up and put his hands in his pockets. “Is this going somewhere?”

“History is about to be made, Colonel Hume; if it is practical, I would prefer not to prevent you from being an eyewitness to it. It would be as criminal to keep you locked in this room while the big event happens as it is to keep people indoors when a miracle is occurring over their heads.”

Hume moved over to the window and leaned his rump against the sill.

Webmind went on. “I have become adept at analyzing vocal stress patterns. It’s true that in general these are not always reliable indicators of whether a person is lying; psychopaths often show no change in their speech when doing so, and skilled liars can learn to disguise the telltale signs. But I have heard you speak under a variety of circumstances, some of which—including arguing face-to-face with the President of the United States and your two recent live television appearances—must indeed have been quite stressful for you. I have an extremely high degree of confidence that I can tell whether or not you are lying.”

“If you say so,” Hume replied.

“You are also a man of honor: a decorated officer and, in your way, an idealist. I must confess that I have little use for military people—the conformity of thought and action that the military imposes, and the frequent handing-off of responsibility and decision-making to those further up the chain of command, tends to stifle the sort of spontaneous action that I find most invigorating to observe. But I do understand—thanks to the writings of millions of soldiers that I have read, and all the books on this topic—some of the appeal of the lifestyle for those, like yourself, who serve voluntarily, and I know that your personal honor is not something you take lightly.”

Hume took his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“And so, Colonel Hume, I ask you this question: will you give me your word that you will merely quietly observe if I allow you to come into the room in this building where the others are working?”

“I took an oath to protect my country,” Hume said.

“Yes, indeed,” replied Webmind. “And I would never expect you to violate that oath. But there is nothing you can do right now; your actions are entirely constrained at the moment to those Marek will allow. And so I ask again: will you behave yourself?”

Hume took a deep breath and weighed his options, but Webmind was right: he really didn’t have any at this point. Besides, seeing what was about to go down might give him a clue about how to later reverse the damage. “Yes,” he said.

“I’m sorry; I need more to analyze if I’m to be sure of your sincerity. Please say words to the effect of, ‘Yes, if you allow me to come into the control room, I will simply observe quietly.’ ”

“ ‘The control room’?” said Hume, surprised that it had such a blatant name. “But, yes, if you let me in there, I will simply watch—after all, as you’ve said, there’s not much else I can do.”

“Very well,” said Webmind.

The door swung inward, and Marek’s glistening head appeared. “Colonel Hume? Come with me.”

thirty-seven

Malcolm Decter was alone in the house—well, except for Schrodinger. Caitlin was at the school dance, and Barb had gone out grocery shopping at Sobey’s, which was open twenty-four hours a day. He decided this was the perfect time to make his YouTube video.

“Are you sure there will be a lot of participants?” he asked as he fiddled with the controls for the webcam in