berserk. It's his Viking blood.'
'Never mind that,' said Frensic, 'we've had Hutchmeyer's offer. It's substantial.'
'Oh God, business,' said Geoffrey, subsiding on to the lavatory seat. 'How substantial?'
'Two million dollars,' said Frensic.
Geoffrey clutched at the toilet roll for support. 'Two million dollars?' he said weakly. 'You really mean two million dollars? You're not pulling my leg?'
'Absolute fact,' said Frensic.
'But that's magnificent! How wonderful. You darling '
Frensic pushed him roughly back on the seat. 'There's a snag. Two snags, to be precise.'
'Snags? Why must there always be snags? As if life wasn't complicated enough without snags.'
'We had to impress him with the amount you paid for the book,' said Frensic.
'But I hardly paid anything. In fact...'
'Exactly, but we have had to tell him you paid fifty thousand pounds in advance and he wants to see the contract.'
'Fifty thousand pounds? My dear chap, we couldn't '
'Quite,' said Frensic, 'you don't have to explain your financial situation to me. You're in...you've got a cash-flow problem.'
'To put it mildly,' said Geoffrey, twisting a strand of toilet paper between his fingers.
'Which Hutchmeyer is aware of which is why he wants to see the contract.'
'But what good is that going to do. The contract says...'
'I have here,' said Frensic fishing in his pocket, 'another contract which will do some good and reassure Hutchmeyer. It says you agree to pay fifty thousand...'
'Hang on a moment,' said Geoffrey, getting to his feet, 'if you think I'm going to sign a contract that says I'm going to pay you fifty thousand quid you're labouring under a misapprehension. I may not be a financial wizard but I can see this one coming.'
'All right,' said Frensic huffily and folded the contract, 'if that's the way you feel about it bang goes the deal.'
'What deal? You've already signed the contract for us to publish the novel.'
'Not your deal. Hutchmeyer's. And with it goes your ten per cent of two million dollars. Now if you want...'
Geoffrey sat down again. 'You really mean it, don't you?' he said at last.
'Every word,' said Frensic.
'And you really promise that Hutchmeyer has agreed to pay this incredible sum?'
'My word,' said Frensic with as much dignity as the bathroom allowed, 'is my bond.'
Geoffrey looked at him sceptically. 'If what James Jamesforth says is...All right. I'm sorry. It's just that this has come as a terrible shock. What do you want me to do?'
'Just sign this contract and I'll write out a personal IOU for fifty thousand pounds. That ought to be a guarantee...'
They were interrupted by someone hammering on the door. 'Come out of there,' shouted a Scandinavian voice, 'I know what you're doing!'
'Oh Christ, Sven,' said Geoffrey and struggled with the lock. 'Calm yourself dearest,' he called, 'we were just discussing business.'
Behind him Frensic prudently armed himself with a lavatory brush.
'Business,' yelled the Swede, 'I know your business...' The door sprang open and Sven glared wild-eyed into the bathroom.
'What is he doing with that brush?'
'Now, Sven dear, do be reasonable,' said Geoffrey. But Sven hovered between tears and violence.
'How could you, Geoffrey, how could you?'
