the contrary, I am not... well, actually I am trying to disinfect myself. You see '
'Disinfect yourself?'
'Yes... well' said Wilt conscious that there was an element of ambiguity about the explanation, 'the thing is...'
'In my toothmug,' shouted Eva. 'You stand there with your thingamajig in my toothmug and admit you're disinfecting yourself? And who was the woman, or didn't you bother to ask her name?'
'It wasn't a woman. It was...'
'Don't tell me. I don't want to know. Mavis was right about you. She said you didn't just walk home. She said you spent your evenings with some other woman.'
'It wasn't another woman. It was...'
'Don't lie to me. To think that after all these years of married life you have to resort to whores and prostitutes...'
'It wasn't a whore in that sense,' said Wilt. 'I suppose you could say hips and haws but it's spelt differently and...'
'That's right, try to wriggle out of it...'
'I'm not wriggling out of anything. I got caught in a rosebush...'
'Is that what they call themselves nowadays? Rosebushes?' Eva stopped and stared at Wilt with fresh horror.
'As far as I know they've always called themselves rosebushes,' said Wilt, unaware that Eva's suspicions had hit a new low. 'I don't see what else you can call them.'
'Gays? Faggots? How about them for a start?'
'What?' shouted Wilt, but Eva was not to be stopped.
'I always knew there was something wrong with you, Henry Wilt,' she bawled, 'and now I know what. And to think that you come back and use my toothmug to disinfect yourself. How low can you get?'
'Listen,' said Wilt, suddenly conscious that his Muse was privy to Eva's appalling innuendos, 'I can prove it was a rose bush. Take a look if you don't believe me.'
But Eva didn't wait. 'Don't think you're spending another night in my house,' she shouted from the passage. 'Never again! You can take yourself back to your boyfriend and...'
'I have had about as much as I can take from you,' yelled Wilt emerging in hot pursuit. He was brought up short by the sight of Penelope standing wide-eyed in the passage.
'Oh, shit,' said Wilt and retreated to the bathroom again. Outside he could hear Penelope sobbing and Eva hysterically pretending to calm her. A bedroom door opened and closed. Wilt sat on the edge of the bath and cursed. Then he emptied the toothmug down the toilet, dried himself distractedly on a towel and used the Elastoplast. Finally he squeezed toothpaste on to the electric toothbrush and was busily brushing his teeth when the bedroom door opened again and Eva rushed out. 'Henry Wilt, if you're using that toothbrush to...'
'Once and for all,' yelled Wilt with a mouthful of foam, 'I am sick and tired of your vile insinuations. I have had a long and tiring day and '
'I can believe that,' bawled Eva.
'For your information I am simply brushing my teeth prior to climbing into bed and if you think I am doing anything else...' He was interrupted by the toothbrush. The end jumped off and fell into the washbasin.
'Now what are you doing?' Eva demanded.
'Trying to get the brush out of the plughole,' said Wilt, an explanation that led to further recriminations, a brief and uneven encounter at the top of the stairs and finally a disgruntled Wilt being shoved out through the kitchen door with a sleeping-bag and told to spend the rest of the night in the summer-house.
'I won't have you perverting the minds of the wee ones,' Eva shouted through the door, 'and
