'Personally, I'd be inclined not to draw any,' said Wilt, 'but if you press me...'
'I most certainly do,' said Mr Scudd.
'Well, one thing's for certain. I wouldn't suppose that the bloke was a raving Marxist.'
'Not a very positive answer.'
'Not a very positive question, come to that,' said Wilt. 'You asked me what conclusions I'd arrive at and when I tell you I wouldn't arrive at any, you're still not satisfied. I don't see what more I can do.'
But before Mr Scudd could reply, the County Advisor forced himself to intervene. 'I think Mr Scudd simply wants to know if there's any political bias in the teaching in your department.'
'Masses,' said Wilt.
'Masses?' said Mr Scudd.
'Masses?' echoed the County Advisor.
'Absolutely stuffed with it. In fact, if you were to ask me...'
'I am,' said Mr Scudd. 'That's precisely what I'm doing.'
'What?' said Wilt.
'Asking you how much political bias there is,' said Mr Scudd, having recourse to his handkerchief again.
'In the first place, I've told you, and in the second, I thought you said you didn't think there was anything to be gained from discussing theoretical assumptions and you'd come to see for yourself what went on on the classroom floor. Right?' Mr Scudd swallowed and looked desperately at the County Advisor, but Wilt went on. 'Right. Well you just take a shuftie in there where Major Millfield is having a class with Fulltime Caterers brackets Confectionery and Bakery close brackets Year Two, affectionately known as Cake Two, and then come and tell me how much political bias you've managed to squeeze out of the visit.' And without waiting for any further questions, Wilt went back down the stairs to his office.
'Squeeze out?' said the Principal two hours later. 'You have to ask the Minister of Education's Personal Private Secretary how much political bias he can squeeze out of Cake Two?'
'Oh, is that who he was, the Minister of Education's own Personal Private Secretary?' said Wilt. 'Well, what do you known about that? Now if he'd been an HMI...'
'Wilt,' said the Principal with some difficulty, 'if you think that bastard isn't going to lumber us with one of Her Majesty's Inspectorsin fact I shouldn't be surprised if the entire Inspectorate doesn't descend upon usand all thanks to you, you'd better think again.'
Wilt looked round at the ad hoc committee that had been set up to deal with the crisis. It consisted of the Principal, the V-P, the County Advisor and, for no apparent reason, the Bursar. 'It's no skin off my nose how many Inspectors he rustles up. Only too glad to have them.'
'You may be but I rather doubt...' The Principal hesitated. The County Advisor's presence didn't make for a free flow of opinion on the deficiencies of other departments. 'I take it that any remarks I make will be treated as off the record and entirely confidential,' he said finally.
'Absolutely,' said the County Advisor, 'I'm only interested in Liberal Studies and...'
'How nice to hear that term used again. That's the second time this afternoon,' said Wilt.
'And you might have added the bloody studies,' snarled the Advisor, 'instead of leaving the wretched man with the impression that that other idiot lecturer was a fee-paying member of the Young Liberals and a personal friend of Peter Tatchell.'
'Mr Tatchell isn't a Young Liberal,' said Wilt. 'To the best of my knowledge he's a member of the Labour Party, left of centre of course, but...'
'And a fucking homosexual.'
'I've no idea. Anyway, I thought the compassionate word was 'gay'.'
'Shit,' muttered the Principal.
