windows and to satisfy their curiosity. Uncle Wally put the jet into a dive and levelled out quite low down so that they could see the ground even better. Eva, who wasn’t accustomed to flying and had never been up in a small plane before, felt queasy and frightened. But at least the girls were enjoying the ride and Uncle Wally was enjoying showing off his flying skills to them.
‘She isn’t as fast as the jets I flew in the Air Force out of Lakenheath, England,’ he said, ‘but she’s good and manoeuvrable and she covers the ground fast enough for an old man like me.’
‘Oh, shoot, honey, you ain’t old,’ Auntie Joan said. ‘I don’t like you using that word. Everybody’s just as old as they feel and the way you feel, Wally, feels pretty good and young to me. How’s Henry these days, Eva?’
‘Oh, Henry’s just fine,’ said Eva, readily adapting to American.
‘Henry’s a great guy,’ said Wally. ‘You got the makings of a great man there, Evie, you know that? I guess you girls are mighty proud of your daddy, eh? Having a daddy who’s a professor is really something.’
Penelope began the process of disillusionment.
‘Dad’s not ambitious,’ she said. ‘He drinks too much.’
Wally said nothing but the plane dipped a little.
‘A guy’s got a right to a little liquor after a hard day’s work,’ he said. ‘That’s what I always say, isn’t it, Joanie honey?’
Auntie Joan’s smile suggested that that was indeed exactly what he always said. It also suggested disapproval.
‘I gave up smoking though,’ Wally said. ‘Man, that stuff kills you and no mistake. Feel a hundred and ten per cent better since I quit.’
‘Dad’s taken up smoking again,’ Samantha told him. ‘He smokes a pipe because he says everyone is against smoking and no one is going to tell him what to do and what not to do.’
The plane dipped again.
‘He really says that? Henry really says that? That no one is going to tell him what not to do?’ said Wally, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the two women. ‘Would you credit that? And he ain’t much to look at manhoodwise either.’
‘Wally!’ said Auntie Joanie and there was no mistaking her meaning.
‘And you stop speaking about Daddy like that,’ Eva told Samantha with equal firmness.
‘Hell, I didn’t mean nothing by it,’ said Wally. ‘Manhood is just an expression.’
‘Yeah, and yours isn’t anything to write home about either,’ said Auntie Joanie. ‘Cracks like that just aren’t called for.’
Uncle Wally said nothing. They flew on and finally Josephine spoke up.
‘Boys aren’t the only people with manhoods,’ she said. ‘I’ve got a sort of manhood too. It’s not a very big one though. It’s called a–’
‘Shut up!’ Eva shouted. ‘We don’t want to hear. Do you hear me, Josephine? Nobody’s interested.’
‘But Miss Sprockett said it was quite normal and some women prefer–’ A swift cuff from Eva ended this exposition of Miss Sprockett’s opinion of the function of the clitoris in one-to-one encounters between women. All the same it was clear that Uncle Wally was still interested.
‘Gee, Miss Sprockett? That’s some name for a woman.’
‘She’s our biology teacher and she’s not like most women,’ Samantha told him. ‘She believes in practising masturbation. She says it’s safer than having sex with men.’
