‘I didn’t need to tell him. He’s got eyes in his head. He could see for himself and he was disgusted. He says it’s against the law. And he’s right.’
Wally was no longer interested in humping. He was sitting bolt upright in the doublewide.
‘Against the law? That’s bullshit. If it’s against the law how come gays are doing it all the time and we got an epidemic of Aids?’
‘Not that law. The Law of God. Dr Cohen says it’s there in the Bible. ‘Thou shalt not–”
‘The Bible? What’s Dr Cohen know about the Bible? That New Jersey kike think the Jews wrote the Bible, for Chrissake? He’s got to be crazy.’
‘Wally dear, who else?’ said Auntie Joan, seizing the initiative now that Wally was off her and into a morass of ignorance. ‘Who else wrote the Bible?’
‘What you mean, who else? Genesis did, and Joshua and Jonah. Guys like that. That’s who wrote the Bible.’
‘You’re forgetting Moses,’ said Auntie Joan smugly. ‘Like in Dr Moses Cohen. Jews, Wally dear. Jews. The Bible was written by Jews. Hadn’t you noticed?’
‘Jesus,’ said Wally Immelmann.
‘Him too. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. All Jews, Wally, and that’s the gospel.’
Wally slumped down on to the bed. ‘Sure, sure I know all that,’ he said with a whimper. ‘And you have to go and tell Dr Cohen I make a habit of sodomising you. You’ve got to be crazy and I mean out of your head altogether. Clinically.’
‘I tell you I didn’t tell him. He could see for himself when I went for my cervical and he was disgusted. You should have heard what he said about men who did that sort of thing. Had me take a blood test.’
‘Don’t tell me!’ yelled Wally and of course she did. At length and in the most explicit detail while he kept interrupting her with threats of what he was going to do to her. Like divorce her and he knew some guys who would fix her for good.
‘Big deal!’ Auntie Joan shouted back. ‘You think I haven’t got myself insurance? Dr Cohen gave me the name of a lawyer, a real good one, and I’ve seen him. You make one move against me, Wally Immelmann, and you’re going to see what dope I’ve sworn on you. You wouldn’t believe it.’
Wally said he couldn’t believe a wife would do a thing like that, betraying her husband to a fucking doctor and a lawyer. They continued shouting until he was exhausted and lay back in bed wondering what he was going to do. One thing was certain. He was going to have to change his doctor and go to Dr Lesky. It was the last thing he wanted to do. Dr Lesky believed in abortion. It wouldn’t look good going to a doctor like Dr Lesky and being the Deacon of the Church of the Living Lord. Living Lorders didn’t go to abortionists and he wasn’t going to that clinic for blacks and down-and-outs. You got more diseases there than cures. Even the doctors contracted them. Like Immelmann Enterprises going on welfare. Wally lay in the darkness and tried to think how to get round Dr Cohen. Being a Deacon and having it thought he was a sodomist wasn’t going to do him any good in Wilma at all.
What the Drug Enforcement Agents had been installing in the Starfighter Mansion wasn’t doing him any good either.
‘We’ve put double bugs in every room and that way when he scans he finds one but he misses the other. That’s only activated when we want it on so the scanner won’t pick it up first time. He won’t scan twice because he’ll have found the first one and they never check again,’ the electronic device expert told the meeting. ‘And the way we know when to turn the number 2s on is we’ve got video cameras so small they make a fly’s eye look big. No way you can spot them. They show us who’s there and the audios pick up every word. If this guy is running any racket we’ll get the proof. The only way he can talk in private is outside in the open air and even then he can’t be too sure. Could be behind a shirt button,
