she was away.
But Eva had her own problems to concentrate on. She was particularly worried about Samantha who didn’t want to go to America because the cousin of a friend at school had been to Miami and said she’d seen a man shot in the street there.
‘They’ve all got guns and the murder rate is terrible,’ she told Eva. ‘It’s a very violent society.’
‘I’m sure it’s not like that in Wilma. And besides, Uncle Wally is a very influential man and no one would dare do anything to make him angry,’ Eva told her.
Samantha was not convinced.
‘Dad said he’s a bombastic old bugger who thinks America rules the world…’
‘Never mind what your father says. And don’t use words like that in Wilma.’
‘What? Bombastic? Dad says that’s the operative word. Americans drop bombs in Afghanistan from thirty thousand feet and kill thousands of women and children.’
‘And miss the real targets too,’ said Emmeline.
‘You know perfectly well what word,’ Eva snapped before the quads could really get going. She wasn’t going to be drawn into using ‘bugger’ herself either.
Josephine didn’t help.
‘All bugger means is anal intercourse and–’
‘Shut your mouth. And don’t ever let me hear you using language like that in front of…well, anywhere. It’s disgusting.’
‘I can’t see why. It’s legal and gays do it all the time because they don’t have…’
But Eva was no longer listening. She was facing another problem.
Emmeline had just come downstairs with her pet rat. It was a long silver-haired tame rat she’d bought at a pet shop and had named Freddy and now she wanted to take it to Wilma to show Auntie Joanie.
‘Well, you can’t,’ Eva told her. ‘That’s out of the question. You know she has a horror of rats and mice.’
‘But he’s ever so friendly and he’d help her get over her phobia.’
Eva doubted it. Emmeline had trained it to make itself comfortable under her sweater and move about. She frequently did this when people came to tea and the effect on visitors was one of horror. Mrs Planton had actually fainted at the sight of what appeared to be a pubescent breast moving across Emmy’s chest.
‘In any case it’s illegal to take animals out of the country and bring them back again. It might have rabies. No, it’s not going and that’s my final word.’
Emmeline took Freddy up to her room and tried to think which of her friends would look after it.
All in all it was a harrowing evening and Eva was not in a good mood when Wilt came home looking rather pleased with himself. Eva always had the feeling that when he looked like that he was up to something.
‘I suppose you’ve been drinking again,’ she said to put him on the defensive.
‘As a matter of pure fact I haven’t touched a beer all day. I have put my past excesses behind me.’
‘Well, I wish you had put a lot of your filthy language behind you too instead of teaching the girls to talk like…like…well, to use filthy language.’
”Troopers’ is the word you were looking for,’ said Wilt.
‘Troopers? What do you mean ‘troopers’? If that is another filthy word I–’
‘It is an expression. Talking like troopers means–’
‘I don’t want to know. It’s bad enough having Josephine talking about buggery and anal intercourse without you coming home and encouraging them.’
‘I’m not encouraging them to talk about buggery. I don’t have to. They pick up far worse
