the words out.
She leaned out of the closet, brow furrowed. 'What's wrong with you?'
'Nothing.'
A moment passed as she waited for him to elaborate. 'Are you in pain?'
'No.'
Again she waited. Again he offered nothing more. He didn't want her pity. Didn't want her having to take care of him. He wanted her to view him as the warrior he was.
She frowned, looked away. 'Listen. We both know the truth. You can't leave this place with a clear conscience. No matter how long I give you. And no, I'm not doing this to be cruel. Please believe that,' she whispered, then ducked back inside, disappearing from view.
Stop...stop...
Shut up! Panting, almost wheezing, he said, 'I have slept...with very few women.' Many. 'All of them made me feel...utterly satisfied.' He'd been pleasured, yes, but always hollow and lonely. 'But with you, it's all physical.' It wasn't. 'I don't admire your strength...and your courage and fuck, I don't want...to see your smile.' He did. More than anything.
'You don't know me,' she called, but there was a tremble in her voice.
'And I don't...want to.' Fuck. He wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. Took every ounce of strength he possessed to get to his feet.
'Shut up! Just shut up. I have to leave.' A pause. A sniff. 'I have to.' Another whisper.
No! A scream.
Gideon roared as more of that awful pain raged through him. 'Morning won't...arrive soon. Don't wait another day at least.' Stay forever.
'Damn it, Gideon. What's wrong with you? Tell me this time.' Soft black material hanging from her fingers, she once again leaned out. 'Please.'
'Don't stay,' he gritted out.
A frustrated sigh met his words. 'The moon is high. I've got several hours to find someplace safe. I'll be fine, so there's no need to worry about me if that's what you're doing.'
Maybe he could stall her. Keep her talking until the sun rose and she drifted to sleep. 'How did your demon...know I love spiders...so much?' It was the first question that popped into his head.
'My demon just knows. My demon always knows. Why are you afraid of them? I've wondered.'
He liked that she'd wondered about him. Even about that. 'Before my possession —' after '—and never...at random times—' always '—I wouldn't feel them...crawling all over me. I wouldn't bat them away...and many more wouldn't take their place.'
She disappeared back inside the closet. Something clanked. There was a muttered curse.
What else could he ask her? His brain was fogged, clouded by the pain, but surely there was something. 'So why...' Damn it. What? 'Why—'
'Stop. Just stop. You've never been this talkative before, so I know what you're trying to do.' A gun clicked, metal slid against leather, and then she finally emerged fully.
Her hair was anchored in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She wore another of his T-shirts and a fresh pair of his sweatpants. Both were rolled to fit her shorter, smaller frame. In several places, there was a telltale bulge. Looked like she was stealing...four of his weapons. Not that he cared.
Gideon wanted to close the distance, grab her up and remind her of just how good it was between them. Weakened and hurting as he was, though, his knees finally gave out and he collapsed to the ground.
With a cry of concern, she stepped toward him. Just before contact, however, she stopped herself. Backed away. 'Please understand, Gideon.' Cold, so cold, and that was far worse than her lack of emotion. 'It has to be this way. Being with you...hurts. There's just too much in the way. I'm too much of a liability to you. And I know that isn't your fault, it's mine, but that doesn't change anything.'
Every instinct he possessed yearned to tell her she wasn't a liability. But he couldn't. Truth or lie, she would know his meaning. NeeMah influenced her too easily. That didn't mean Scarlet wasn't worth the risk.
She was worth every risk.
But he wanted her to be happy, even if that meant upsetting himself, and she didn't think she could be happy with him. It hurt her.
The thought of her hurting utterly destroyed him. She'd endured far too much already.
'Besides,' she continued in that cold, detached way. Frowning, she rubbed her temple, as if her head were aching. Or perhaps, as he'd suspected, her demon was as loud and upset as his own. 'Like I told you, I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure my memory is wiped clean. If I have to break into Tartarus and abduct the Greek god of Memory, I will. And when it's done, I won't remember you, so there's no reason to start something that has no future.'
No, no, no. From the demon and Gideon. And yet...
Cringing at the effort required to move, he waved his arm toward the door. 'Stay, then.' If she needed to leave to find happiness, so be it. But when he healed, when the fortress was fortified, he would go after her. Somehow, some way, he'd prove he could make her happy, too. Wiping her memory, though, wasn't going to happen. Ever.
'Goodbye, Gideon,' she said, then hesitated only a moment before walking away from him and out of his room.
No! No! Mine. Come back! Lies shouted, and that was the last thing Gideon knew.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE OLD MATTRESS squeaked as the punked-out female thrashed atop it, lost in what was probably a bloody, violent nightmare. I'll have to thank Gideon's woman later, Strider thought, just in case she was responsible. And he didn't feel bad for the lack of compassion.
He had studied his bounty while she'd slept. Every inch of her, even peeling back her clothes for a look at all the hidden places. Weapons could be stored anywhere. Some would say he had no scruples, and he would agree. He didn't. Not with this woman. Never with this woman.
He now knew who she was, and she didn't deserve leniency from him. She deserved the sting of his blade.
There, lying on the small motel bed, locked with him in this tiny room, was Hadiee, the woman who had led Baden, keeper of Distrust, to his slaughter. She helped destroy my best friend!
The beheading had taken places thousands of years ago, and she'd been human. Or so he'd thought. Yet here she was, as young as she'd been back then. Which meant she was now immortal. Right? How it had happened, he didn't know. But he would find out. He would be finding out a lot of things from the bitch.
It had taken him a few hours to place her, 'cause yeah, the tattoos, piercings and pink streaks in her hair had thrown him. She hadn't looked like this back then. Her hair had been several shades lighter, a tumble of snowfall, and her skin glowing from the sun's kiss. She'd dressed in the rough, conservative garb of a servant, but that hadn't detracted from her prettiness.
He never would have placed her if not for the scoreboard tattooed on her back.
Lords: IIII Haidee: I
She'd split her back in two, one side for the Lords, one side for herself. He'd known exactly what the marks meant, too, because Baden had marked himself that way, as well. Bitch.
The four he and his friends had supposedly killed, he couldn't name. And yeah, he'd probably slain them. In all his many centuries, he'd slain thousands. The knowledge of that should have dulled his anger toward this woman. It didn't. Baden had been the best man Strider had ever known. The kindest to his friends, the most supportive and caring.
Being possessed by the demon of Distrust had changed him, of course, just as being possessed by such a dark force had changed all of them. But he'd been the first to come back to his senses. The one who had led everyone else to the light. He'd felt the guiltiest for the destruction the Lords had caused. He'd been the first to
