to me.
Hurt, she moaned. I hurt so bad.
I know, darling, but fight past the pain and listen to me. Can you do that?
A pause, another whimper. Then a hesitant, yes. Yes. Amun, you’re reading my mind. How are you reading my mind?
I think I instinctively built a mental wall to block you out when those demons were inside me. The moment you took them, that wall fell. Now I need you to fight the demons, sweetheart. Push them out of your body. Out of your skin.
How? Every time I mentally approach them, they dart away.
Corner them.
I can’t!
You can. And you will. Do it. Now. He put enough steel in his voice to anger her. Do it, or I’ll hand you over to Strider. You think you’re suffering now, well, wait until he gets you. He will torture the living hell out of you, and I’ll cheer him on. Then I’ll make love to another woman in front of you.
Every muscle in her slight, trembling body stiffened. B-bastard.
I know. Get well, and you can punish me.
T-trying. Her body uncurled, stretching taut as a bow. They’re still darting…like little flies…no, close, I’m close…they can’t go anywhere else…there they are…
Her back arched as an agonized groan ripped past her lips.
Haidee? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.
Pushing, I’m pushing them. They’re screaming, want out. Out, out, out.
That’s the way, sweetheart. You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you. Keep pushing them. He flattened his palms, his cold, cold palms, on her and stroked. He stroked her everywhere, every inch of her body, willing the cold out of him and back into her. Push them out, and then cut any tether that binds them to you. Understand?
Slowly her skin began to darken. Not tanning, not becoming a lovely gold, but becoming a dark, sickly gray. She was doing it. She was expunging them. He could feel the malevolence pulsing off her.
Relief only increased his urgency. His hands moved faster, trying to touch every inch of her at once. That’s the way.
The ice. Yes, the ice. Need it. Need it. Need— She screamed. Screamed until her voice broke, until his eardrums nearly burst just to escape the noise. Darkness was now pouring off her, drifting into the air like dust motes before darting out of the cave entirely.
Her nails raked at him, drawing blood. She thrashed, she fought, but he never released her from his hold. Finally, thank the gods, finally, she sagged against him, silent, not even trembling, as if every bit of strength had been sapped from her and she could barely even manage to breathe.
Amun never stopped cooing at her. He whispered everything he’d learned about her past, knowing she would want every detail. He promised he would never allow anyone — not gods, demons or humans — to hurt her. Finally, she rallied.
I suspected you were part goddess, you know, he said.
A small, sad smile. I almost can’t take this in. Chosen and betrayed by Justice. Targeted by Hate. Part Hate myself. I mean, I’m a demon and I’ve fought demons all my life. Lives. It’s ironic and weird and… and…I hate it. Hate. A bitter laugh. Makes sense now.
No one can blame you for what happened.
I can. I do.
You shouldn’t.
I want to deny it all, so damn badly, but I can’t.
You are a wonderful person, and what we’ve learned today doesn’t change that.
I— Whatever argument she meant to give, she changed her mind. Thank you, Amun. For everything you did, everything you said. For liking me despite this.
Liking? He more than liked her, but she’d endured enough revelations for the moment. Sleep now, sweetheart.
Yes.
The gray cast eventually faded from her flesh, returning her skin to that lovely golden shimmer. The fever even cooled. He, too, sagged, his relief so great he practically choked on it.
Hours passed while she dozed, her body trying to fortify itself. Though he was exhausted, he never allowed himself to drift. He remained awake, alert, keeping guard. And as always, just being near Haidee aroused him. More so now, considering how close he’d come to losing her.
She was naked, he was naked, and her soft scent was imprinted in his sinuses. Her breasts were pressed into his chest. Breasts he’d held, suckled. Her legs were twined with his. Legs he’d spread, caressed. Soon he was sweating, the chill inside him gone as if it had never been. He needed to reaffirm that his woman lived, that their bond hadn’t been shattered.
She’s too weak. She needs a little recovery time. More than that, making love had almost killed her. He would not risk her again. Ever. He would be with her, safeguard her, pamper her, but never again would they be together in a sexual way.
«I’m not too weak,» she murmured sleepily, the coolness of her breath tickling his chest. «I’ll never be too weak for that.»
He inhaled sharply. In that moment, he knew. He knew she was going to be all right. His arms tightened around her, squeezing so tightly he feared he would crack one of her ribs. But he couldn’t temper his reaction, couldn’t dilute his need to hold her and never let go.
«Make love to me,» she said. She raised her chin and looked up at him, though she never lifted her cheek from his chest. «Remind me that I’m alive.»
No, sweetheart. No. We’re just going to hold each other.
«But why?» Was she…pouting?
His cock twitched in response. What if there are other demons hiding inside me? Or what if you draw Secrets out this time? Secrets is a High Lord, and the demons you took from me were merely minions. High Lords make minions look like infant children in need of a bottle.
«But there were hundreds of those minions.»
Thousands of minions could not compare with one High Lord.
She sighed. «That’s probably true.»
Is that piece of Hate still inside you? he asked. Or did you expunge it, too?
«It’s still with me. I can feel the emotion, weaker than before, but there.»
Good.
«Good?»
I don’t want to risk losing you. I’ll die if I’m separated from Secrets, and I fear the same will happen to you if you’re separated from Hate. Even so small a piece.
«Oh…yeah,» she said, disappointed. «I forgot about that.»
His heart stuttered to a stop. Does it bother you that I will always be a demon?
«Not at all.» She slid one of her hands to his neck and pressed a fingertip against his pulse, jump-starting his heart into action again. «I accept you for who and what you are.»
He hadn’t realized how badly he’d needed to hear those words until she’d said them. As I accept you.
She placed a soft kiss on his sternum. «I’m still in shock. But God, this explains so much, you know? Why I have so much trouble loving, why people tend to dislike me when they first meet me. Why moods are sometimes blackened in my presence.»
