The others stared at him like he was talking crazy, but I knew exactly what he meant — and it ripped at my heart. Of course I wanted my real life back. But I couldn’t be Amber, even though I desperately wished it were possible. Couldn’t Eli see that I didn’t have a choice? I was trapped in Leah’s body, and subsequently her life. The Montgomerys would never believe I wasn’t really their daughter, any more than my real family would believe I belonged with them.
“Eli, are you on something?” Chad jerked Eli’s arm so they faced each other. “I didn’t think you did that shit, but you’re acting messed up. Don’t embarrass yourself, just go on home.”
“Not until I talk to Leah.” Eli shook his brother off.
“Leah doesn’t even like you.”
“Can you let her make her own decisions?” Eli stared hard at me. “Come on, let’s go outside where we can talk privately.”
“Privately? With my girl?” Chad exploded. “Forget it. Leah, tell him to get lost.”
But I shook my head, saying nothing.
“Damn it, Eli, do I have to kick your sorry ass out of here?”
“No kicking,” I begged. Turning to Eli, I whispered, “Can’t this wait?”
“No. You have to trust me on this.”
I did trust him, but I didn’t trust people who held power over me — like Mr. Montgomery. If I didn’t play the role of daughter, friend, and sister convincing enough, I’d be committed to DeHaven. With drugs blurring my mind and locks confining me, I’d be more of a prisoner than I was already. I might even start believing that being Amber was only a dream.
I shook my head. “Not now, Eli. You don’t understand.”
“I understand more than you think.” His gaze challenged me to choose him, to leave everything and become Amber again.
“Enough, okay?” Jessica came forward to stand between us. “I don’t get what this is about, but we can sort it all out later. If Eli wants to stay for dinner, he’s welcome. But first I want to hear Leah’s raffle ideas so I can complete our meeting.”
“Well …” I was totally aware that all eyes were on me. “I think a raffle is the best way to get people to show up at the fundraiser. But we have to raffle off really cool prizes.”
“I already thought of that, but I can’t see how it can be done quickly.” Jessica sounded discouraged. “Three days doesn’t give us much time to get donations from local businesses.”
“So we create our own prizes,” I told her.
“Like what?”
“Designer gift baskets,” I explained. “With candles, candy, flowers, bath accessories, and gift certificates.”
“Like the baskets from the Halsey Hospitality Club?” Eli said with a challenging edge to his voice. “The club created by Amber Borden?”
“Poor Amber,” Jessica said sadly. “Baskets would be great, but I doubt that club will continue without Amber. So who would make the baskets?”
“I can do it,” I admitted.
“You?” Jessica laughed. “You can’t even wrap your Christmas presents. You always hire someone else to do it.”
“I can make baskets,” I insisted.
“Tell them how you learned,” Eli said pointedly.
I frowned at him. I couldn’t be who he wanted me to be.
Chad grabbed Eli by the shoulder. “You’re leaving.”
“Let go!” Eli couldn’t get loose from his brother’s muscled grip. “Leah, talk to me now. Do it for Amber.”
“Amber is gone,” I said softly.
“She doesn’t have to be! Not when you’re still here — Hey, Chad! Not so rough!”
Chad dragged Eli toward the door. I wanted to claw at Chad’s arms and pull him off Eli … but I just stood there. Helping Eli would raise suspicions about my sanity and lead to all kinds of trouble with my friends and family.
What if Eli was right? Was there a way I could reclaim my life? Was that the important thing he had to tell me? He’d risked a lot to come here. For me. Amber.
“Chad, let him loose!” I shouted and pulled on Chad’s arm.
“Leah, lay off. Are you freaking crazy?”
“Maybe,” I admitted. “I’ve changed my mind — I want to talk with him.”
“You do?” Eli said eagerly.
“You do?” Chad demanded in the complete opposite tone.
I sucked in my breath, courage gathering like powerful rain clouds. I’d gone along calmly for too long — it was time to let loose my inner storm. “Yes, I want to talk with Eli.”
“No way.” Chad growled.
“You wouldn’t understand about loyalty, Chad, but your brother does. Eli was Amber’s friend, and talking to him is the least I can do in her memory.”
Chad loosened his grip on Eli, tossing his brother aside like brushing off lint, and turned to me. “Babe, you don’t mean it. Why waste your time with my geek brother? You don’t even like him.”
“I’ll make my own decisions about who I like.” I pushed away from him.
“You’re talking strange, Leah,” he said, frowning.
“Yeah, I notice that, too.” Kat came forward, shaking her head. “Leah, you’re not acting like yourself. Sure, Eli is kind of hot in a skinny geek way, but you always go for jocks. And since when do you care about Amber Boring- Borden?”
“Don’t call her boring. We’re closer than you know — I even sent flowers to her hospital room.”
Kat shared an incredulous look with Moniqua. “See what I mean? Leah, you’re so different since your sickness — like someone I don’t even know.”
“Well, I think she’s great,” Jessica said, smiling at me. “Sending flowers was such a classy thing to do. Leah, I’m proud to be your friend.”
“You are?” I asked.
“Seriously proud. Since Amber had her accident right after leaving my party, I’ve felt sick about it and wanted to do something for her. Now I find out you sent her flowers while I did nothing. I should be more like you. Now it’s too late for Amber … but not to show support for her family.” A thoughtful gaze crossed her face, then she snapped her fingers. “That’s it! A super idea for a fundraiser that will draw a huge crowd.”
“What?” Kat, Moniqua, and Chad asked.
“We’ll combine our fundraiser with a farewell memorial for Amber.” Jessica jumped excitedly. “A canned- food-drive memorial service!”
* * *
While everyone had their eyes on Jessica as she discussed her ridiculous idea (a canned-food memorial?), I slipped my hand into Eli’s. We shared a look, then escaped, hurrying through the foyer and out the door. Fresh air and hope buoyed my footsteps. Free, free, free! I wanted to run, keep running — far from Leah’s Montgomery’s messed-up life.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To my car.” Eli pointed down a ways to a parked silver BMW. “Or to be exact, to my mother’s car.”
“Are you kidnapping me?” I said, only half-hoping.
“I was considering it before you agreed to come.”
“What’s so important that you had to tell me?”
“I’m taking you to my car to show you.”
“Now you’re confusing me.”
