Dead Girl Dancing

We couldn’t get out of the “crappo” house fast enough.

Driving to the ocean didn’t take long — the real challenge was finding a place to park. We drove in circles until we finally dove into a spot just as a SUV was leaving. Then we made our way down steep wooden steps onto a grainy carpet of sand that stretched across a vast beach to the emerald-blue ocean. It was a clear day, the sea calm and a sweet breeze cooling us.

But the action on the beach was the opposite of calm. Sand stretched as far as I could see, congested like a highway but jam-packed with bodies rather than cars. People littered the beach with blankets, chairs, coolers and shady umbrellas. It wasn’t a hot day — the temperature was only in the mid-70s — yet a lot of sunbathers were wearing bikinis. They were stretched out on blankets, playing volleyball and chasing waves. I could taste salty air mingling with the scent of coconut suntan lotion.

“Now this is more like it,” Mauve said with a satisfied sigh. Sadie and I nodded in agreement as we looked around the beach.

We hadn’t bothered to change our clothes, so we were still wearing T-shirts and jeans. I found a blanket in the car trunk and spread it out on the sand. But I was the only one who sat down. Immediately, I found out we had different definitions of beach fun.

“I spy cute volleyball players,” Mauve said with the same wicked light I’d seen in her eyes right before she’d traded herself into Alonzo’s car. “Anyone up for some volleyball?”

“Not me,” Sadie said. “I want to check out the boutiques.”

“Boutiques?” Mauve grimaced at the tacky tourist stores and wild assortment of street performers that lined the narrow road beyond the bike path. “Aren’t you ever too tired for shopping?”

“Me? Never!” Sadie said with a laugh.

Both invited me to go with them, but having no idea if the real Sharayah would choose shopping or volleyball, I stayed on the beach. Intoxicated by the peaceful lull of ocean, I just wanted to soak in the sun and surf. Tomorrow I’d figure out a way to get to the Voice Choice audition — but for now, this beach was my heaven.

I sank down on the blanket, kicking off my shoes and dangling my toes into the sand: gritty and dry on top, but cool and damp down deeper. Closing my eyes, I luxuriated in the feeling of soft wind and sunshine. The sounds of voices drifted away and I felt myself drifting, too, mesmerized by the steady beat of the ocean’s force, the rise and fall of waves lulling me into sleep.

And I dreamed of Gabe.

9

“We’re almost there,” said a rugged-looking guy with a long face, a wild tuft of night-black hair, and dark green eyes. He held out his tanned hand to Sharayah. “This step is cracked, so you better hold onto me.”

Me-as-Sharayah reached up, smiling, a bursting-with-happiness expression I’d never seen before on her face. But I recognized that look and knew what it meant.

Sharayah was in love.

We were by the ocean, but not the pristine, people-cluttered beaches of southern California. The air was crisper, dangerously darkened by storm clouds and rich with wild winds that swirled up my thick dark hair, whipping its long tendrils against my cheeks. It was strange how even though I was inside Sharayah’s body, I was outside, too, watching my fingers curl into the green-eyed guy’s strong hands as he helped me up wooden steps that were set into a grassy hill of sand.

And as we crested the hill, a horizon of clumps of wild grass stopped at a sharp cliff overlooking jagged rocks that dropped down into a violent, spitting sea. The bluffs reminded me of the high seats in a movie theater, where you see everything from far away, straddling so close to the edge that it seems you could tumble down into the drama. I knew this guy had to be Gabe — the mysterious passionate love of Sharayah’s life. With him, at the top of their world, she was insanely happy.

“When are you going to tell me the surprise?” she asked playfully, breathing a little hard after the climb.

“Isn’t this surprise enough?” He gestured beyond the wild green grasses to the churning, gray-green sea that stretched into a curved horizon.

“But I thought … well, you hinted that today was special.” And she was thinking how she hoped he had a ring hidden in his pocket, anticipating the many romantic ways he would ask her the Big Question and how she would throw her arms around him, kissing the answer, yes.

Of course, her family would be outraged when they found out she was getting engaged to an older guy she’d only known a few months. If they had their way, she’d stay in a protected bubble and never experience anything. But screw them, she thought angrily. So what if they didn’t approve? Eli was the worst of all, acting like he was her big brother rather than four years younger. What did he know? What did any of them know? If they gave Gabe a chance, got to know him, they’d love him, too. And she’d show him how much she loved him on their wedding night, taking off the silver Promise Me ring she’d worn since she was seventeen, the one she’d put on when she’d made the chastity vow to wait until marriage. Old-fashioned it may seem to others, but to her it was the best way to make sure everything was perfect.

So, for the first time since meeting her soul mate, she tasted the word “yes” on her lips; excited, eager and finally ready to commit; as if everything up until now was a rehearsal for her real life.

They stood atop the bluff, fingers entwined, buffeted by the increasing winds. She pulled her jacket tighter with her free hand, wishing it were summer with blue skies and gentle waves, not the ferocious pounding of a threatening storm. Yet in a way the weather was romantic with its wild intensity, so very unlike all the everyday, neat, planned moments of her LBG.

Life Before Gabe.

“So what’s the surprise?” She had to raise her voice to be heard over the wind. In just the short time they’d climbed up, the clouds had rolled in closer, ominously dark, gathering like heavy fists.

“Are you ready?” He breathed his words so close to her mouth they were almost a kiss.

“I’ve been ready for you my whole life.”

“It’s been far longer for me,” he said with a wry twist to his lips.

Sharayah smiled at him. “There must have been others.”

“Only one.” He tipped her chin up with his finger. “Only you.”

“Exactly as it should be,” she teased, trying to sound calm and not like her heart was practically pounding out of her chest. But I could feel her excitement, mingled with fear, and knew the fears she’d worked so hard to hide. She was terrified that she wasn’t good enough for Gabe, that she was too young and inexperienced, that he would be disappointed.

He’d confided in her about his travels around the world, the tragedy of losing his family — details he couldn’t bring himself to talk about — and how that loneliness drove him out of the country, searching for a place to belong. He’d suffered and experienced so much while she’d lived her whole life in a bubble of the same place, same people, and same daily everythings. She’d had the same best friend since childhood and hadn’t even changed the style of her hair, experiencing no more drama than the semester worry of maintaining a 4.0.

Until now.

High on a stormy bluff with the man she loved, she was finally ready to remove her precious silver ring and replace it with another ring, one representing vows to love, honor and cherish forever.

She eyed his pocket. “How long do I have to wait for my surprise?”

“Not much longer.”

“Is it a gift?”

“Yes.” His green eyes swirled deep with secrets.

“What is it?”

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

She nodded.

The wind howled around them and he opened his jacket, drawing her into his warmth. “Do you trust me?” he