“I can’t read your mind. I had no idea you were upset.”
“You don’t pay attention.” She made a soft sound like a sob. Alyce, crying? But she was the toughest person I knew, and never cried.
“I’m paying attention now. Talk to me, Alyce.”
“I can’t … not over the phone. Come home ASAP.”
“Grammy plans to switch me back today,” I admitted. “But I want her to wait until tomorrow so I can go to the audition. I can’t just quit on Sharayah when I’m so close to giving her chance at stardom. All I need is one more day.” “Sure, help her. Isn’t that what you expect me to say?”
“I don’t expect you to say anything but the truth.”
“You don’t want to hear the truth. I don’t even know why you bothered to call me.” Her voice broke. “Just go … go have fun with new friends.” “Mauve and Sadie? That’s ridiculous! I barely know them and they have no idea who I really am.” “Yet you’re all having a great time together — dancing, flirting, hanging out on the beach. It’s so interesting to hear you go on and on and on about them. Thanks for sharing.” “Alyce, don’t! You’re my only BFF and I’d rather be with you than anyone else. You know that.” “Do I?” Alyce asked quietly.
“I might be dense sometimes, but I never stop caring. I’ll be home tomorrow — I promise. Then we’ll have one of our Double A’s talks. Just the two of us, like always.” “Yeah. Like always.”
But the way she said “always” sounded like an accusation.
And before I could say anything else — even good-bye — she hung up.
* * *
Only the heartbreak Sharayah had felt when Gabe tied her hands and called her a “fool” came close to the hurt I was feeling. Alyce and I’d had arguments before, but we’d always kept talking until we worked things out. Never — not once in all the years of our friendship — had she hung up on me.
I called Alyce back, but she didn’t pick up. On purpose, I was sure, which hurt even more. How had this all happened? What sin had I committed to deserve so much anger? I thought back over the last week: that awful moment when I’d woken up in the first wrong body, terrified and unable to contact anyone. But I hadn’t been the only one who’d suffered. I’d been so wrapped up in my own misery that I hadn’t thought much about what my friends were going through. During that awful week, Alyce thought I was dying and visited my body in the hospital every day. She’d been a loyal friend, while what had I done for her? Let her think I was dead.
No wonder she was so angry.
I sucked at being a BFF.
And the only thing I could think of to make this up to her was to come home today.
I really, really hated quitting on Sharayah — but Alyce was my best friend ever and came first. She needed me.
Decision made.
Walking back into the bedroom, I plopped my suitcase on the bed. I found a tie-dyed T-shirt and slipped it over jeans. Then I packed yesterday’s dirty clothes in a side pouch and got ready to leave.
Mentally, I went through a checklist of my options.
There was no point in trying to contact Sadie and Mauve. I’d just leave them a note explaining I had to go home for a family emergency. I wouldn’t be lying. Alyce was closer than family to me.
I’d use Sharayah’s money and take a taxi to the airport, then catch the first plane home. If everything worked out, I’d be with Alyce by this afternoon. Then we’d talk and I’d find out what was really bothering her. While I knew she was upset about my being temporarily dead, I doubted that was the core problem. No, it was something deeper … and I’d help her get through whatever it was.
The cat mewed, jumping off the bed to rub against my legs.
“Bye, Kitty Calico,” I said softly.
Then I grabbed my suitcase and rolled it out of the room.
In the kitchen, I found a pen on a counter but no paper for a “good-bye” note, so I ripped off a square of paper towel. I wrote a short good-bye to Sadie and Mauve, apologizing for cutting my vacation short and promising to explain later. (Not the truth, of course, but something close enough to satisfy them.) When I reached the living room, I sorted through a thick pile of phone books (a few so old they were dated back to the last millennium) and thumbed through the yellow pages for “taxi.” The dispatcher said a taxi would arrive in thirty minutes. I picked up my suitcase and, with a heavy sigh, reached for the door and opened it …
And was startled by someone walking up the porch steps.
Eli had arrived.
16
“You!” I shrieked, dropping my suitcase with a thud on the hardwood floor.
“Amber? Is it you?” He tilted his head uncertainly.
“Yes! It’s me … and it’s you … here! I can’t believe it! I’ve never been happier to see anyone!”
Rushing at him, I opened my arms, ready to show exactly how much I missed him — but instead of opening his arms for me, he folded them across his chest, his expression repulsed like I had lice or smelled bad.
“No,” he said firmly. “I can’t touch you.”
“Why not?” I demanded, stung.
“Because I can’t.” He frowned. “Amber, any touching would be wrong. You’re not you anymore.”
“Of course I am. So what if I look different?”
“You’re more than different. You look like my sister. You
“Damn. I forgot about that.” I glanced down at myself. “So I guess kissing is out.”
“So far out the idea just left the planet. Sorry, but that’s just how I feel. It’s not that I don’t want to … well, you know.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” I was smiling a little because he seemed so disappointed. It was cute how he was so serious, frowning as if all the problems of the world had been dropped on his shoulders. He really did care about me.
Picking up my suitcase, Eli walked me into the house and shut the door behind us. He stared at me, then slowly smiled. “I think it would be okay if we shook hands,” he said.
“Are you sure that’s allowed?”
He nodded. “Platonically.”
“Of course,” I agreed as I held out my hand.
The casual shake felt far from casual and rocked my emotions. Eli must have felt some of that rocking, too, because as if in silent agreement we immediately dropped hands and stepped back. I glanced everywhere except at him, noticing a loose spring on the couch, a broken TV that had been turned into a planter with green vines dangling among loose wires, and a light switch on the wall that had been transformed into modern art by an abstract painter.
When I found the courage to lift my eyes, Eli was staring at my suitcase with a puzzled expression. “Are you going somewhere?”
I nodded. “I was going to the airport to fly home.”
“Why? Aren’t you supposed to stay here for spring break?”
“Change of plans: my mission is over.”
“That’s great! My family will be so relieved when Sharayah returns and everything is back to normal.”
“I hope so,” I said, guiltily because nothing had been solved and I had no idea how Sharayah would act when she resumed her life. But Eli seemed so happy, I didn’t want to worry him.
“I’m glad this is ending for other reasons, too,” Eli added, biting his lower lip as he met my gaze. “I look at you and see my sister — which is really messed up. Once you’re not her anymore, we can do more than shake hands. Oh, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Geez, I’m not that kind of guy.”
