Another burst of laughter from the lunchroom.
There is a pause as if he’s thinking about it, then Dr. Eberhardt blows an exasperated breath into the phone. “If she claims I owed her money I’ll write out a check just to close the books.”
I thank him and tell him to send it directly to Mrs. Gutierrez.
“Violeta behaved negligently, but what happened to her was senseless and outrageous, and I feel for the kids. Just don’t ever come to me again.”
I sink into the chair, nodding triumphantly toward the Bank Dick’s Undercover Disguise as if it should congratulate me for solving the problem of Teresa and Cristobal. It doesn’t wave or hold its sleeves up in a clasp of victory, however, and a darkening shadow edges my relief. The doctor’s description of Violeta’s negligence does not square with his wife’s reaction to my questions. Claire Eberhardt shut down, saying only, “We had to let Violeta go, it didn’t work out.” If a maid let my kid almost drown in a pool I’d feel a right to be a bit more critical. My impression of her at the door wavers and finally becomes clear: Claire Eberhardt was behaving like the classic suspect with something of her own to hide.
As if to sort things out, I absently start going through my mail. That is when I find the official letter from Special Agent in Charge (SAC) Robert Galloway, who has reviewed my request for transfer to the Kidnapping and Extortion Squad. He has denied that request, citing an “unfavorable addendum” from my supervisor, Duane Carter.
I return to the lunchroom and stand there empty-handed while people tuck into neat slices of Kyle’s French apple tarts and Duane Carter tells a story about a fifteenth-century
The men wow and the females in the room start to clean up.
I say to Barbara: “Duane fucked me.”
“What now?”
“Request for transfer denied.”
“Damn.” She folds her arms and sinks into the word.
Our voices are low. My jaw is clenched with the effort of not giving in to a rage that is steadily building out of control.
Barbara leans over to pick up a dish off the table. “This is discrimination.”
Looking past her I see the smudgy glass window plastered with notices of Softball games and scuba diving trips, wavery white shapes of anonymous people passing in the hall. Sometimes I so desire the comforting of a mother.
“If it is discrimination it’s going to stop right now.”
Ignoring her look of caution I step toward Duane Carter and square off with him right there at the potluck lunch.
“Hey, Duane.”
“Ana?”
“The SAC denied my request for transfer.” The talk quiets. “Your unfavorable addendum had a big influence on his decision.”
Duane glances at the members of the squad who have caught the drift and suppresses a smile.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“Are you really sorry, Duane?”
“Of course he’s sorry,” says Donnato from out of nowhere. “Now he’s got to put up with you for seven more years,” giving our supervisor a sideways cock of the head as if commiserating on how difficult and challenging it is to manage women on any level in this world today. I hate it when Donnato mediates for Duane, even though he does it because he thinks he’s protecting me.
“I guess I can put up with her,” Duane jokes.
“If you force me to continue to work on your squad, Duane, I promise you this: only one of us is going to be left standing.”
Donnato’s smile fades into a look of appalled disgust, as if I have just wandered out into the middle of a firefight like some rank rookie amateur while he and every other smart veteran is well under cover and intends to stay there. Nothing I can do for you now, he is telling me with a shudder, the only question remaining is whether he will hang around to watch me get blown away.
But instead of letting loose with everything he’s got, Duane surprises everyone by pulling up a chair and straddling it so he and I are actually eyeball to eyeball and I can observe the fine texture of his porcelain-white skin and the few short dark hairs that lie flat beneath his lower lip, wondering if he even shaves.
“Why don’t you like me?”
It is meant to be disarming and of course it is, this roll-up-the-sleeves honesty undertaken in public, Duane’s attempt to make me look like the bad guy, my aggressiveness turned ugly in the face of his genuine hurt. I know Barbara doesn’t buy it and neither does Donnato, but they leave the room anyway, along with most everyone else who suddenly has to get back to their desks.
“I could ask you the same question.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t dislike you, Ana. If I’m tough with you it’s because you can take it. And maybe also, frankly, because you need it. You do tend to carry a chip.”
“So you denied my transfer for my own good.”
Duane isn’t interested in sarcasm from me. He is concentrating on following the line of his sincerity, which is an effort.
“When the time comes, you’ll take off like a bat out of hell and nobody’ll stop you. But there’s no need to be in such a hurry. Christ, you’re not even thirty yet, are you?”
I have been leaning my butt against the edge of one of the brown lunchroom tables. I am wearing a short black skirt, black tights and heels and it makes me feel sexy and insouciant to be lounging there, arms crossed, fingering the soft sleeves of the white sweater I wore for the potluck lunch, the one with the lacy almost see- through bodice. Duane Carter is looking at me with a neutral kind of innocence like an adolescent boy who has quit setting fires for the day and is on his knees playing with a toy car collection like when he was six.
“The fact remains that I made a perfect bust out there at California First Bank and I deserve to be rewarded for it, not punished.”
“I’m trying to explain this is not about punishment—”
“Sure it is. You’re punishing me because I’m female.”
He squeezes his eyes shut and laughs out loud. “I hope you don’t really believe that.”
“Yes, I do, and I’m going to bring an EEOC lawsuit charging sex discrimination against you and the Bureau to prove it.”
Duane gets to his feet and tosses the chair aside. His hands are deep in his pockets, feeling for those stolen matches or whatever his source of destructive psychic power. The innocence is gone and black fire rages once again in his eyes. That didn’t take long.
• • •
Ever since that class action suit on behalf of Hispanic agents, the FBI has been under scrutiny; another lawsuit filed by some black agents also received wide attention. I know very well the powers that be within the Bureau will not tolerate accusations of discrimination against the Los Angeles field office.
It turns out, after a couple of conversations with the advocacy lawyers, that I have a very good case. So good that on the eve of the filing deadline, Special Agent in Charge Robert Galloway calls both Duane and me to his office for a special meeting.
I have never been inside Galloway’s corner office, with the wide-open view of downtown Los Angeles and the better carpeting and new butterscotch plaid furniture.
“I had to go back to the start of this thing to try and get somewhere,” Galloway begins in his Brooklyn accent, “and I can see where each of you has a particular point of view.”
Galloway worked the organized crime division of our New York office for eighteen years yet there isn’t a strand of gray on his head of thick wavy black Irish hair. He always wears a turtleneck — his trademark — never a
